I Fell From The Dark

19

She opened her eyes.

She was strapped in a chair again, tongue protection in her mouth. A man looked down at her. He was like the Jean that she'd seen by the fire, bearded, with the same sad smile. However, now she could tell the signs: paler skin from the pink blood in his veins, younger, fitter, blander. He was in a synthetic body. And that meant she was, too.

He lifted a tablet, tapped its screen; and then he put it down again, took out the guard from her mouth, and unstrapped her forehead.

'Looking good.'

She nodded, and looked down at herself, sagged at the lack of recognition that she felt.

If I cut myself, I'd bleed pink too, she thought. I am a thing. I am a construct. Have I ever been human?

'I'm going to let you out now. It'll take a little while to get used to this body,' said Jean. 'So take it easy.'

'I know,' she croaked. 'I did this pretty recently.'

He smiled. 'We've made some advancements since then. Plus, I think the AI which downloaded you was rushing the process. Any dreams?'

She closed her eyes again, the images tumbling round her mind like rags in a washing machine.

'Yes,' she said. 'I found... a condom.'

She couldn't see him, but she could hear the confusion in his voice.

'That's peculiar. Do you know what it meant?'

'No,' she lied.

He had unstrapped her arms and torso, and was working on her legs. She opened her eyes again. He was looking up at her. He smiled again.

'You dream because there are remnants of your memories floating around in your subconscious, and they get surfaced when they mess about with your conscious memories. Downloading is one of those times. Your mind is calibrated to the body that you're put in. It's reprogrammed to remember this body as being yours. Otherwise you'd spend ages walking into furniture because you weren't the size you were used to. And, pumping that information into you stirs up other stuff too.'

She lifted her hands, and rubbed her wrists. He finished with the last strap, and stood.

'Try getting up,' he said.

It was hard, but much easier than when she'd woken before. Maybe I'm getting used to this, she thought. This bouncing between bodies.

She was standing after a few false starts, with Jean holding her arm.

'Thanks,' she said. 'By the way: my name's Mia.'

He smiled at her. 'Hi Mia,' he said. 'Well done for surviving another body download. And... welcome to Victoria.'

She looked around her, able to concentrate on something which wasn't her own limbs for the first time. She was in a room full of machinery and equipment. It had plain concrete walls, covered in shelves, and with a single window through which grey light streamed. On one of the desks was a white cube, a foot to a side. Dozens of cables trailed from it. Lights flickered across its surface.

It was the same box that she'd seen on her scan of the probe. The thing that she had blown away before impact.

'Is that... me?' she asked.

'Yup. At some point we can mount it in your body, if you like. Or you can carry it. You're lucky: you're a ship's unit, which is designed to remotely control a body. My processor is in my skull, and can't go anywhere else.'

She walked over to it. She reached out, but didn't dare to touch it. Instead she just stared at the flickering lights flashing over its surface, little white dots rippling under her hovering hand.

'It's not fragile,' he said. 'You're designed to be robust. That's why it's so big. It's armoured and toughened.'

'Am I a person? Have I ever been a person?'

She couldn't see him, because he was behind her, but she heard the regret in his voice.

'It's a question we all ask ourselves. The makers say that we're not. Well, most of them do.'

She turned to face him. She had so many questions, so many things she needed to understand. But her attention was taken by the little window and how wonderful it was to be away from the soft pale confines of the ship.

'Where the hell are we?' she asked.

'Let me show you,' he replied, leading her to the door.