Patrochilles ~ Anything But Lovers

We Shall Face It Together

Patroclus stared at the rising sun, casting long shadows across the tent interior. Beside him, Achilles slept soundly, unaware of the turmoil churning within Patroclus. Every stolen glance at Achilles' peaceful face only intensified the guilt festering in his chest. He needed to talk, to break the suffocating silence before it choked the life out of their friendship.

With a shaky breath, Patroclus spoke, his voice rough with unsaid emotions. "Achilles?"

Achilles stirred, his eyes fluttering open slowly. He blinked, momentarily confused, before recognition dawned. "Patroclus? What time is it?"

"Early," Patroclus mumbled, avoiding Achilles' gaze. "We don't have training until later."

Silence settled between them again, pregnant and heavy. Achilles propped himself up on his elbow, his brow furrowed with concern. "Is everything alright? You seem troubled."

Patroclus couldn't meet his gaze. The words felt heavy on his tongue, but he forced them out. "Do you... remember yesterday?"

He saw a flicker of something - understanding? Regret? - in Achilles' eyes before he replied, his voice laced with a hint of uncertainty. "Of course I remember. The training, the cove, the sunset..."

Patroclus winced. "More than that, Achilles."

Achilles' expression hardened. "Are you accusing me of forgetting something?"

The defensive tone stung, but Patroclus pressed on. "No, of course not. But... don't you think what happened at the cove..." His voice trailed off, shame burning his cheeks.

Achilles studied him intently, his silence more unnerving than any argument. Finally, he sighed, the tension in his shoulders visibly relaxing. "You mean the kiss, Patroclus?"

Patroclus flinched at the bluntness, confirming his worst fears. Yet, a sliver of relief washed over him that they didn't need to dance around the issue any longer. He nodded, unable to form words.

"It was... unexpected," Achilles admitted, his voice low. "But not unwelcome."

Patroclus swallowed hard. "But shouldn't it be? Don't you get why it's wrong?"

He was met with a long, contemplative silence. Then, Achilles spoke, his voice soft yet firm. "Wrong, Patroclus? Why? Because of what Chiron might think? Because it defies the roles we're supposed to play?"

Patroclus couldn't help but scoff. "As if that's not a reason! You could be exiled, ridiculed..."

"And what if I was?" Achilles challenged, his voice gaining an edge. "Would that change what we feel for each other?"

The question hit Patroclus like a physical blow. Did he even know what they felt for each other? Was it mere friendship, pushed to its limits by stolen moments and forbidden desires? Or was it something more, something terrifying and exhilarating at the same time?

He met Achilles' gaze, uncertainty mirrored in their eyes. This wasn't the easy conversation he'd hoped for. It was messy, confusing, and threatened to expose vulnerabilities he wasn't sure he was ready to face.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Achilles placed a gentle hand on his arm, his touch sending a shock of warmth through him. "We don't have to have all the answers right now, Patroclus," he said, his voice softer now. "But let's not pretend what happened was nothing. Let's talk, honestly, without fear. Whatever the future holds, we shall face it together."

Patroclus nodded, the fear slowly giving way to a sliver of hope. Perhaps facing the truth, however complicated, was better than letting silence and guilt gnaw at their already strained bond. With a deep breath, he began to speak, his words hesitant at first, then flowing steadily as he shared his anxieties, his confusion, and the fear of losing the friend he cherished most.

As they spoke, the initial tension dissolved, replaced by a hesitant understanding. They didn't have all the answers, but they were no longer alone in their quest for them. The morning sun rose higher, casting its warm light on a friendship hanging in the balance, yet finding strength in shared vulnerability and the promise of honest exploration, whatever path it may lead them down.