Saving a God

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Clara's POV

That night had to be one of the worst nights of all time. I tossed and turned, I kept playing the night of the incident in my head over and over. There had to be a way to change the outcome. But it was no use. No matter what I did, it would end up with someone hurt, or even worse-dead. We were lucky with Loki's condition but still not good enough. I could have prevented it. I looked at my alarm clock, 7:30 am. I should get up and train but I did not feel like it today. I am not in the right mindset for it. 

I stood up to go look out into the city. Still busy, even this early in the morning. I put on a comfy sweatshirt and sweatpants and grabbed a book that I was reading. I went out to the living room where it would be quiet, and I could focus. Most of them do not get up till noon anyway so it would be peaceful. I grabbed a comfy blanket and sat in the big chair next to the window and started to read. 

I was lost in this world full of castles and dragons. I love to read because it takes me out of reality, makes me forget my struggles and worries. When I became friends with Loki, I started to read more and more. We would sit together for hours in the library and just read. I must have been so into my book that I did not even see Loki sit down in front of me on the couch. "Oh, hi." I said. I place my marker in my book. He looked as if he had a rough night of sleep. He gave a small smile back. 

"You like to read?" He asked, pointing to the book in my lap. His voice was so quiet and calm. 

"Yea, actually you- um, I started to read more once I came here." 

"Oh, well I guess I like to read as well. My room is filled with books, if you want to borrow some you are more than welcome to." I gave a small smile back. What he does not know is that most of my books are from him. A lot of them are.  He would tell me stories of the Asgard library. Loki told me that one day he would take me there to visit the library and garden, but he needed to mend things with his family. He told me stories of his mother and how wonderful she was, but I'll never get to meet her. 

"Thank you." Is all I could say. It hurt too much. He got up and walked to the kitchen. All of this is feels like a weird dream to me, I wish it never happened.  

As I kept reading Loki stayed in the kitchen. One by one the team started to wake up. It seems as everyone got a good night's rest besides Loki and me. 

"Hey Clara." Thor said as he walked out into the living room and sat down on the couch. He looked even more tired than usual. His voice was calm too. Usually, Thor is shouting and causing the loudness in the tower. 

"Hey." I closed my book, maybe another time. 

"How did you sleep?" He whispered knowing that he was in the kitchen. 

"Not good, I kept thinking about that night. I want to go back and change it but every outcome is the same. I just, I cannot even bear to look at him." I whispered back. 

Loki's POV

What they did not know was that I could hear them. Even though they are whispering I can hear them talking. My heart sank for her when she said she struggled to sleep, how she cannot even look at me. I wanted to reach out to her and tell her that it was okay, that her Loki was not gone. I just needed some help jogging my memory back. 

I went back to my room to see if something would spark a memory or two. I saw little knifes everywhere. Was this my weapon? I held one of the knives in my hand. Nothing. I set it back down. I walked over to the pictures on my board. Pictures of Thor and I, Clara and I. One that caught my eye was her and I by a tree, all light up. Must be Christmas time? She looks happy and so do I.  I wish I could bring back that smile of hers. She looks beautiful when she smiles. But then again, nothing came back to my mind. 

I walked over to my suit. A long black and dark green suit with a gold helmet with horns on the top, but nothing again. I walked over to the books on shelf. One in a different language. I grabbed it and flipped to the opening page. It was from a woman, Frigga, she must have been my mother, I guess. I looked at the pages in the book, all in a different language. Pictures of what looked like floating in space with a huge castle in the center. At the bottom it read, Asgard. Was this where I am from? 

Still nothing. I closed the book and sat on the edge of my bed. "Come on Loki, think! You have someone depending on you." I tried looking around my room more and more but still nothing. Nothing sparked a memory for me. It all felt foreign to me.

I went and stood by the window. I was in a city, I think Tony said New York city. I looked down and saw the thousands of cars, people walking to their destinations. But where was mine? Where was I going? I felt lost, no place to go. Clara and Thor say that I would be in danger if I went out, so now I am kept locked up here. I feel like some kind of monster that cannot be let out in the public. 

I guess we'll find out.