Saving a God

True Form

Clara's POV

I sat in the library that Tony had in his tower. It was a very large library with thousands and thousands of books. Tony had many books on every topic you could think of. Books about all the different cultures, history, and his favorite, science and technology. I like to read about the different realms. Before Loki lost his memory, he would teach me about the nine different realms and told me he would take me to Asgard one day, but we never got to.  He would tell me stories about his journeys and his battles. He even opened up to me about his true birthplace, but I never got to see his in true form.

I sat by a big window and grabbed the book I was reading but then I heard footsteps on the other side of the bookshelf. "Who's there?" I asked. I saw Thor step out from behind the shelf. "Oh, Thor, what are you doing here?" 

He sat on the couch on the other side of me. He wore a grey sweatshirt and jeans which is not typical for Thor so it just shows how much he is struggling with this situation. I think everyone is, even Tony. Someone who hated Loki from day one, is showing signs of struggle. "Clara, I think you need to talk with Loki about the past."

"Thor I can't-" 

"I know it hurts but if you want him back, you need to help him." He was right. If I want the man I loved back, I needed to help him. I need to push the pain away. 

"You're right-" but before I could finish my sentence the tower's alarm went off. 

Thor and I rushed to the living room to see what trouble was going down. Some aliens were attacking New York City. "Alright everyone gear up, besides you Clara." Tony said pointing to me. 

"Me? Why! You guys need the help!" I was completely shocked; I have always helped on mission and now he is keeping me home!

"Clara, you need to watch Loki. We can handle this. We will be home before you know it." Tony said. I nodded and let them gear up. I sat on the couch and Loki came out into the living room and saw what was happening. 

"I'm sorry Clara." He whispered. I looked over at him, he looked more miserable than Thor. God, no one is getting sleep these days. Well, neither have I. "Sorry you have to watch me." He whispered; I could tell he felt guilty about it. 

"It's alright. We can play games or something." I tried to give a small smile and as I did it almost seemed to spark something. But it quickly faded when he walked backed to go to his room.

"Clara, keep an eye on the place and Loki. I promise we will be back as soon as possible." Tony said as the team headed out.  Once they left I turned on the TV to watch a movie. I did not want to watch the news for I would be anxious the whole time because I was not there to help them out. I should be there, but I knew Loki needed the help. 

A half an hour goes by, and Loki has not come out of his room yet. I debated on whether or not I should check on him. Thor was right I needed to talk to him and if I want the man I loved back. However, part of me feels weird talking about the past to someone who does not even know who I am.

Loki's POV

I do not know what is wrong with me. I am freezing cold, so I grabbed a blanket but when I looked at my arm, it was blue. I completely panicked. I turned the lights out in fear Clara would see me like this. I do not know how this happened and I do not know how to stop it. I threw on a long sleeve hoodie to hide my ugly blue arms. My mind was racing. They will hate me, they will kick me to the streets, I am a monster!

My heart stopped once my door opened. "Loki?  Do you want to join me in the living room?" Clara asked. She sounded worried. My back was turned to her so she could not see my skin.

"Yeah, i-in a bit." I stuttered. I could tell she did not move from her spot due to her shadow casted on the floor beside me. I refused to turn around until, 

"Loki, look at me. What's going on?" She said quietly. I heard her take a step in the room. 

"No!" I shouted and turned around. She eyes widened at the sight of me. The fear set in me. Now I am a monster. I just stood there and stared at her. Why is she not screaming, or crying? What is happening? Her posture changed from panic to calm all of sudden. 

"Loki, please sit down." She told me. "I know what this is, and I know what you are thinking. You just need to relax." I was hesitant on it, but she does know who I am. I sat on the edge of the bed as she turned the light on and stood in front of me. Her expression changed from shocked to amazement. "Loki you come from a realm called Jotunheim. There lives frost giants and you are part frost giant." Even as she explained to me where I am from and the realm I come from.

 I notice the temperature of my skin started to go back to normal. The blue had vanished, was it because I was overwhelmed in trying to remember who I was? Once she finished explaining I looked down at my hands and they were my normal pale self. 

"Thank you." I whispered looking at her. 

"Why don't you come sit out in the living room with me?" She said smiling. I nodded and followed her out to the living room.   

She did not say a word about the incident. We both sat on the couch watching a movie. The fear in me was now gone when I was with her. Clara did not seem frightened by my true form as she puts it. It was like she was waiting for that moment to happen. Clara made me feel less of a monster and more human, more real. 

As we watched the movie I noticed she was asleep on the other side of the couch. I put a blanket over her to keep her warm. Her chest rising and falling with every breath, she looked so peaceful and yet she has to take care of me. This should not be her job, I should be the one finding out my past and who I was.