You don't have to suffer alone

chapter 10

~ Luna's POV ~

It's been a week since i told them everything and it's been a good week to be honest, i don't want to say that too loud, but it actually has been pretty okay. They had a talk at my school and made some agreements about me and school. I'm going to try and go to school 3 days a week to limit the sitmulants and the stress, hopefully. They also have a room in the school where you can go to when your overwhelmed or need a break and i'm going to get a pass for that. 

There's a really nice coach there who can help you if you're not okay, i believe his name was Tony and i met him once already and i can always go to him if i'm doing bad. I'm still scared to do that because i don't trust him yet, but i'm really glad with these agreements, i really hope this will help me to get through a school week. I'm so grateful for Nick and Charlie helping me with this. 

They've been searching for a good therapist too and i have my first appointment next week, her name is Zoey. Nick and Charlie are both going to come with me and i'm so incredibly scared, it's insane.

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It's a new week and i'm going to school again, i've been home last week but now i have to face it again. School. Ivy and i have been messaging each other a lot when i was at home last week. She's so nice and i love our conversations already. I really hope she's a good friend and that i can trust her over time. But for now i'm not letting her in on my mental health stuff yet.

I arrive at school not ready for this at all but here we go anyways. I walk into the school and Ivy almost immediately runs up to me "omg hi girl, i'm so glad you're back! I honestly felt lonely, i have no one here that i like except for you!" Ivy squeals all excited. 

I just love her energy, her vibe and she seems so genuine. And i'm glad she likes me. "Sorry girl, did you survive without me?" i chuckle "pff i had to" she sighs jokingly and we laugh while walking to our first lesson together. "So how are you holding up girly?" Ivy asks me and since she does know about my panic attacks and anxiety, i decide to be honest. I need to be honest in order to see if people can be trusted, i need to give it another try. 

"My anxiety is through the roof right now, i hate being here, but i have to give it a try" i admit and kinda sigh out while taking a breath. "If it's too much, listen to your body and step out Lun. I'm here for you and i know that i don't know everything that's been going on but if you feel like you can't do it, don't push yourself too much, okay?" Ivy says and she tries to give me a hug but i jump. 

I quickly apologise and then i hug her. "But enough about me, i know you're struggling too so how are you doing?" i ask and she immediately looks away "come on we're going to be late" she tries brushing off the conversation and she starts walking to our class but i stop her. "Iv.."

"You can talk to me" i try to comfort her even though i know it's easier said then done. "I feel like school is too much for me too. My anxiety has been so bad ever since school started and even my medications aren't working anymore." she sighs out and now i'm the one hugging her.

"You could always talk to the school to go to school less days a week, like me, so you have more time to recover and relax from the anxiety days at school. And maybe you could get a pass to always leave the classroom and then you can go and talk to Tony, he seems okay. Take your own advice too girly; if you feel like you can't do it, don't push yourself too much." i comfort her and she seems to relax by my advice. 

This feels weird, having a friend open up to me and me giving her advice. This is all so new for me. 

"Do you still have a therapist?" i ask Ivy, not knowing if i'm crossing a line here or not. "No it stopped a while ago because my treatment was done" "maybe you can start again? Maybe a therapist can help you manage it and maybe try different medications or something?" i suggest and she smiles "hmm yeah maybe"