Vaggie, Niffty, Alastor, Angel Dust, Malphina, Sir Pentious, Husk, and Kali sit in the hotel's lounge, none of them speaking until Niffty breaks the silence.
"So, like, where are your wings?"
"Niffty, I don't have-"
Angel cuts Vaggie off, pushing up his chest fluff, "Did you ever think maybe she's sensitive about her lack of wings, just like her lack of tits?"
"Yeah. Where are your tits?" Niffty tugs at Vaggie's shirt, making the fallen angel sigh as she pulls her away.
"Malphina, any comments? Usually you have one." Vaggie crosses her arms.
The moth demon fidgets a little as she was sitting between Angel and Pentious, "Well, uh..."
"So, you do have something to say. Just spit it out."
"I...kinda...had the theory that you were an Exorcist Angel."
Vaggie stares at her in disbelief, "You already had the idea?! What made you think that?"
"Well, for one, you have a giant X over your eye like the other Exorcists. And two, you wield an angelic spear. It was not exactly rocket science." Malphina leans back.
"Why didn't you say anything then?" Kali asks.
"Cause I thought it was true! And then I thought if I spilled, she'd kill me and throw my corpse in the dumpster outside!" the moth demon crosses her arms, "I need a drink."
"No alcohol." Angel told her.
"What? Angie-"
"I agree with him, Mal. No alcohol for the time being." Kali adds.
Malphina turns to Husk.
"Sorry, kid. We're just looking out for you."
"I still can't believe that bitch roofied you." Vaggie feels sorry for her.
"I'll be fine." Malphina reassures, "Maybe the fun things I did while drunk balances out."
"Hm?" Vaggie turns to the others for an explanation.
"Mallie can get...very affectionate when she's drunk." Angel explains.
"And seductive." Kali adds.
"Yeah, I apparently made out with a lot of people." Malphina picks up her #1 Bitch mug and drinks from it, "Don't remember who though."
Angel clears his throat awkwardly, turning away from the others.
"Ooookay. Any other questions?" Vaggie asks.
"I got one." Husk holds up a bottle of alcohol, "How come every time Charlie talks to Heaven we get in deeper and deeper shit?"
"Huh...that's a good point." Kali crosses her arms, "The Extermination did get cut in half when she went to that meeting."
"Okay, who told her?" Vaggie asks.
Everyone, except Alastor, raises their hand.
"It's not her fault. Angels are just-"
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Hazbin Hotel (Burn in Hellfire)
FanfictionMalphina, a sinner that died in the 1980s, is a pyromaniac/arsonist obsessed with bombs and looking amazing while doing turf wars. When her territory gets destroyed by her best friend Angel Dust, his friend Cherri Bomb, and Malphina's self-proclaime...
