Death By a Thousand Cuts

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Baz

"Baz, please"  Simon says and my last shred of hope crumbles. I could never deny him anything. I close my eyes as I lift his sword higher, then jam it in his guts.

The first thing i think is that i shouldn't have closed my eyes. My ears pick up every cut in his skin and my nose smells every drop of blood that oozes through it.

When i open my eyes he is looking right at me, like he wants to remember the last thing he sees. I hate the tears that fall as my knees buckle under me. 

Through my blurred vision, I see a movement. I blink and realize Simon just tried to raise his hand, to wipe my tears. I makes me cry harder. I take his hand in mine.

"Snow" I say, keeping my voice from shaking, hoping one word could convey everything I wanted him to know. He looks deathly pail. his eyes seem a lighter shade of blue. He already looks dead. I killed him.

His voice is weak, but I still catch it.

"You- ...You called me Simon...before"

I cant help myself. I laugh. I jammed a sword in him, and he is lying here looking like a corpse, wiping my eyes. Simon snow is really the most idiotic person I know. 

"No I didn't" His mouth twitches, trying to smile. 

That's when it hits me. He will be dead in seconds. He will we dead in seconds and nothing that ever happened between us ever mattered because this is how it was suppose to be. Only one of us was gonna live on. 

But not in his universe. 

Somewhere, there is a version of me who got to know what it was like to be loved by Simon Snow. 

"Simon" I say slowly, making sure he hears it. 

"I love you"

Simon Snows smiles then, fully, even though it must take every bit of his strength left.

"Kiss me"

This time, I don't hesitate. I block every voice of reason in my head, taking his face in my free hand and press my lips to his rapidly cooling ones.

I feel his last breath, and the world, instead of going cold, feels like its on fire. 

It takes me a second to realize, it is infact of fire.  Another second to realize that, I am infact on fire. 

I don't move. 

I told you, This would end in flames.


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