If Only

20. Emily

I watch him, the stubble growing on his jaw, as he looks at me from the corner of his eyes, ensuring I don't go anywhere. Where would I go? Who would ever look at me the way he did? Who could ever make me feel as safe as he did? Half exposed in my broken shirt, in his bed, with his mark on me, I know he would never hurt me. Even with all I didn't know about him, I knew that. The way he held back the nightmares and didn't give them more power over me. Malachi clears his throat, pulling his arms underneath his head, away from me. Maybe he doesn't trust himself not to touch me. He gives me space to think, to understand where we are and what stray touches I allow.

"Well, Darcy and I were engaged at birth. We were always supposed to be together. The daughter of my father's Beta, and the heir to the Alpha bloodline, was supposed to be a power match." His voice changes deeper, the anger of the betrayal still fresh, or maybe it was that someone planned his life for him before he even had a chance to say no. "My father was over the moon when Darcy and I officially began dating. I think we were like nineteen? Maybe? When it was on our terms, we said you know what, sure, it is what everyone around us wanted. Hell, maybe at the time, we wanted it. And it was fine for a while, then when I took over at twenty-one, she changed. She got power hungry, maybe. I was the youngest Alpha ever recorded in my bloodline, normally we don't take over till we are twenty three, twenty four. But when I took over, I don't know." Malachi shook his head gently, pulling out the thoughts. "She started thinking or acting like she was already Luna when it was the furthest thing from the truth. All drunk on the power of being with me, what it would get her."

"Wait, she isn't marked?" I ask, interrupting his story.
"No. Emily. She isn't. I was in my head thinking that I could do this by myself. My ego didn't want a Luna yet. I was twenty-one, finally an Alpha in title and my own right. I wanted to do things my way, without having to run it by my Luna. Hell I didn't even want to run anything by Benjamin as my Beta. Let alone someone who was supposed to call me out on my bullshit." He turns his head to me, pulling one of his arms out from underneath his head to hold my cheek in the palm of his hand, running his thumb over my cheekbone. "Besides, if I had, I would have never agreed to the marriage between us, and I would have never known you were my mate. My missing half." 

He smiles at me. I just roll my eyes; the males do have it bad.

"I'll ignore that eye roll, for now, mate." He growls a low warning, his eyes flashing quickly.
"Sorry, Alpha." My eyelashes flutter at him as I brace my chin in the palm of my hands, my elbows against the bed as I lay down next to him, my feet kicking in the air, waiting for the rest of my story.

"Anyways." He starts again, looking back at the ceiling, "maybe it was because I didn't want to acknowledge that she would be my Luna, or maybe she just got fed up with waiting. I don't know, but one day I was coming home from training, just a normal day, and I knew something was off. Some feeling that I had, or maybe hearing her I thought there was no way. I walked into my room, and she was on top of Oliver, having the time of her life. When she heard the door opening she looked at me, guilt in her eyes, but she didn't move. Didn't run after me when I left, and Oliver just laid on my bed, just enjoying the show I guess. I can forgive a lot, but cheating and in my bed, no."

"Wait." I scramble, letting the blanket fall around me, my shirt barely holding on to my shoulders, "this bed? The bed I've been laying in?" My nose scrunches in disgust.
Malachi laughs, wrapping his arms around me and turning into me. My back hits the mattress as he hovers over me.
"You know I've washed and changed my sheets since then, right? Well more like burned them. Like I'm not laying in sheets from three years ago. Us Forest might not be as cultured as you Snow's, but babe, that's gross." His nose runs over the bridge of mine.

"Still. Wait. Were you with Scarlett on this bed too?"
"Yes. Those sheets and blankets are gone as well." He laughs at me again, and my eyes are hot with an emotion I don't recognize.
"Watch it, Emily. I told you." Malachi grumbles at me.
"Told me what? Told me that you just slept with random people? In a bed that you put me in? Who else, Malachi!" My words growled, fire burned through my eyes, what was wrong with me? My hands braced on his chest, ready to throw him off of me.

"I told you that when you got jealous, I didn't want to hear it. It wasn't random people, Emily. I didn't go around just screwing anyone who walked by. It doesn't matter who else, Emily. Tell me what you're feeling."
"Anger. Jealousy, Rage."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because why, mate."
"Because you put me in a bed in which you had other girls. Because they touched you. Because they got you-"

He sighs, "Because they got me first? Some random females that don't matter in the long run? Do you want me to replace our mattress?" His response makes me stop. He would change his life just like that. Because I'm jealous that someone got him first.
"You would?"
"If it meant that this," he motions to my eyes, "didn't happen. Then yes, but we might have to replace my shower, desk, and a couple of walls; however, now that I think about it," He smirks at me.

"Malachi Kasey!" I really do know nothing about him, his past, his history.
"Yes, Emily Faye?"
"Nevermind, I don't want to know. You don't smell like any of them, so that it couldn't have been recently." I huff.
"Hm, nope. The thought of touching anyone makes my skin crawl, so no thanks."
"Good to know, Alpha."

He rolls his eyes at me, "you can roll your eyes at me?" I grumble, "Hm. I'm Alpha. I outrank you." Malachi leans down and gives me a quick kiss before moving off of me, "As much as I would like to stay in bed with you, we have a day to start. You need breakfast and to get dressed. Your clothes are in that closet." He says as he reaches over to his matching dark wood nightstand pulling out a black box. My eyes widened; he wouldn't. Not yet. He opens the box and pulls out a small black circle with a plastic piece on one side. He shakes his head at me before tapping the earpiece.

"Mason. Catch me up." His Alpha tone is out. Listen and follow. There is no need for questions. He waits for his answer; he points with his eyes to the door I was supposed to go through. "Do you have a timeline for me? When is all that happening?" He pulls out of bed, strolling over to his closet. I can almost hear his conversation, "Yeah, Ben. It was the only time I could get it done. I know, Beta. But it had to happen when he left. I couldn't get her out with him there. Yeah, I know. Liz, do you have eyes on them? Graham met them at the line, with teams two and three. Yeah, I don't care." Malachi comes out of his closet, looking like the Alpha he is. A black button-down shirt, the sleeves pulled up to his elbows rolled tight against his skin, a dark blue tie loose around his neck pulling out the clouds of his eyes, black slacks framing his hips, dark gray shiny oxfords hitting the carpet floor as he walks to me. The dark colors on him pull out the blue in his eyes, his black hair still messy from the bed. My eyes slowly trail over him; his eyebrow arches at me, his fingers tilting my chin up to him as he gives me a soft kiss. Malachi pulls back with a smirk on his lips, fighting the smile at me watching him.

"Oh, shut up." I laugh, pushing him away from me.
"Go get showered and dressed, baby." And words that I thought I would never hear leaves me spinning. 

"Your father is on his way here."

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