32 - The Big Apple.

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"I don't like it, but my hands are tied. I just want you to know this: if I ever get the chance to betray you, I will. If the opportunity arises to pay you back, I'll take it. You'll never be able to trust me."

- Darren Shan

My stomach was a tangled knot of nervous excitement as I retrieved my small suitcase to begin packing for my trip to New York

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My stomach was a tangled knot of nervous excitement as I retrieved my small suitcase to begin packing for my trip to New York.

There was a certain reluctance in my actions; an unwillingness to leave Uncle Ben and Noah alone for an entire forty-eight hours. While I had left Sawyer in charge in my absence and papa would be available if needed, the thought of being away from Noah felt unsettling, a daunting prospect I was very tempted to avoid altogether.

I had almost convinced myself to surrender my plans to this reluctance when a knock on the door abruptly tugged me out of my thoughts.

Noah's gentle voice filtered through the wooden door. "Frankie?" he queried.

I scrambled to my feet, relieved to see him standing in the doorway. "Hey baby, what's up?" I responded, inviting him to join me in the room.

Slowly, Noah crossed the room to where a half-smoked cigarette lay smouldering in the ashtray perched on the window ledge. His fingers delicately put out its fiery tip before turning to me. "When's your flight?" he asked, his gaze gentle and probing.

Finding myself sitting beside him, I carefully studied his features in an attempt to decipher the sea of emotions that seemed to dance behind his eyes. "In two hours," I told him honestly, feeling my heart squeeze in my chest as I added, "Baby, I can call it off if you need me here."

"No, no." He shook his head. "I just wish you'd take Sawyer with you, for protection. I worry about you."

The way he looked at me, my heart soared. The sincere concern reflected in his gaze felt as if it could lift me right off the ground. He cared so profoundly that it was overwhelming.

But leaving them without any protection was not an idea I was comfortable entertaining. "Baby, I promise you, I'll be okay," I reassured him. "Sawyer's more needed here, with you guys."

Noah's eyes darted away from mine, and I knew then that whatever words he was to utter next would stab straight through my heart. "I know you worry about me... more than anyone," he whispered barely above the audible threshold. "I'm your weak point, Frankie. And we both know people break at their weakest points."

"Noah, please-" I started, but his interruption left me faltering in my words.

He continued with a helpless shrug, his gaze avoiding mine. "I am... a burden to you, always. And I wish... I wasn't. I wish I was different. I wish I could be of assistance, not... not something holding you back."

Taken aback by his words, my hands instinctively sought his, grasping them tight within my own. A tide of sorrow crashed against the barriers of my heart, swelling to an almost unbearable intensity.

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