The Hobbit: An unexpected Journey

An Unexpected Party

From outside, the doorbell rings. Bilbo looks up in surprise.
Bilbo opens the door. He finds a bald, muscular dwarf, Dwalin, standing at his doorstep. He greets Bilbo with a slight bow.

'Dwalin, at your service.'

Bilbo lets out a confused whimper. Coming to his senses, he quickly ties his robe together and stands taller, but the confused look on his face still remains.

'Bilbo Baggins, at yours.' 'Sorry, do we know each other?' Bilbo asks. 'No.' Dwalin answers firmly. 'Which way, laddie? Is it down here?'
'Is what down where?'
Dwalin takes off his coat and throws it to Bilbo. The poor hobbit barely manages to catch the thing.

'Supper. He said there'd be food and lots of it.' The dwarf strides down the hallway, as if it were his own. Bilbo stares after him, befuddled.
'He said? Who said?'

Dwalin sits at Bilbo's spot at the table, scarfing down the fish. Bilbo watches him eat, disgusted.
Dwalin scarfs down all the flesh off from the fish. he drops the bones onto the plate, wiping his hands on his beard.

'Very good, this. Any more?' 'What? Oh, yes.'
Bilbo awkwardly brings over a plate of biscuits. He manages to hide one behind his back for himself. Dwalin grabs most of the biscuits and stuffs them down his mouth.

'It's just that I wasn't expecting company.'
The doorbell rings once again. Bilbo looks up in alarm. 'That'll be the door.' Dwalin stares up at him, grease staining his beard.

Bilbo opens the door once again. He finds another dwarf standing before him. Balin. The much older dwarf gives a ginger bow.

'Balin, at your service.' 'Good evening.' 'Yes, yes it is. Though I think it might rain later. Am I late?' 'Late for what?'

Balin spots Dwalin in the hallway, trying to get more biscuits from the jar.
'Oh evening brother!' Balin says.
Dwalin puts the jar down with a smile. The two brothers approach each other.

'By my beard, you are shorter and wider than last we met.' 'Wider, not shorter. But sharp enough for the both of us.'

They put their hands on each other's shoulders and bang their heads together. The two share a chuckle as Bilbo looks on, confused.
'Uh, excuse me? Sorry, I hate to interrupt. But the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house.'

Dwalin and Balin have gone into the pantry, helping themselves to ale and examining the food.
Bilbo steps into the room.

'It's not that I don't like visitors, I like visitors as much as the next hobbit. But I do like to know them before they come visiting.'

The dwarves continue to riffle through the pantry, ignoring their host. Bilbo sheepishly presses on.

'The thing is, I don't know any of you. Not in the slightest . I don't mean to be blunt, but I had to speak my mind. I'm sorry.'
Dwalin and Balin pause and look at Bilbo.

'Apology accepted.'
Bilbo nods, satisfied.
Balin hands a tankard to his brother, 'Now, fill it up, brother, don't stint.'

From the hallway, the doorbell rings once again. Bilbo slowly turns around, at awe with shock.
For the third time, Bilbo opens the door. He finds two young dwarves standing before him. Bilbo groans.

'Fili and Kili. At your service' they both give a courteous bow.

'You must be Mister Boggins!' Kili says
'Nope, you can't come in you've come to the wrong house.' Bilbo tries to close the door. Kili manages to stop it with his hand.

'Has it been canceled?' 'No one told us!'
'Cancelled? No, nothing's been cancelled.!' 'That's a relief!'
The dwarves push their way in and begin to unload their weapons onto Bilbo.

'Careful with these. I  just had them sharpened.' Kili admires the architecture of the hallway. 'It's nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?' Kili asks.

'No, it's been in the family for years.' Kili begins to scrape the mud off his boots on the edge of a nearby chest.
'That's my mother's glory box, could you please not do that!'

Dwalin enters the hallway and beckons Fili and Kili forward. 'Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand!' 'Mr. Dwalin!'

The two brothers follow dwalin down the hall and into the dining room. Bilbo begins to follow behind them, at a loss for words.

'Lets shove this in the hallway otherwise we'll never get everyone in.' 'Everyone? How many more are there?'
The doorbell rings again!

Enraged, Bilbo quickly walks to the door. Along the way, he dumps the swords and equipment he is carrying onto the ground.

'No! There's nobody home! Go away and bother somebody else! There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If this is some clotterd's idea of a joke, I can only say that it is in very poor taste.'

Bilbo throws open the door. All the dwarves fall over onto each other. Bilbo is relieved to see Gandalf standing behind them.
The wizard gives a faint smile

The dwarves raid Bilbo's pantry. Cheese, meat, wine, veggies, fruits; every food under the sun. And they are all wrenched from the pantry shelves.

Bilbo steps into the hall, seeing the dwarves cross from the pantry to dining room and back again. He steps forward.

'Excuse me, that's my chicken! Oh, not my wine! Put that back! Put that back!'

Bifur speaks Dwarvish to Bilbo. He is shocked by the ax in his head. 'He's got an injury.' Oin says. 'You mean the ax in his head?' 'Dead? No, only between his ears. His legs work fine.'

Gloin and Fili pass Bilbo. Bombur carries three wheels of cheese.
'That's a tad excessive, don't you think? Do you need a cheese knife?' 'Cheese knife? He eats it by the block.'

Bilbo turns his attention to Oin, who carries wooden chairs at his side. 'No, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair!' Bilbo pushes him slightly towards the room he came from 'I can't hear what you're saying, laddie.'

Gandalf helps the others set the table. Dori approaches the wizard, carrying a tea tray. 'Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf, may I tempt you with a cup of chamolile?'
'Oh, no thank you. A little red wine for me, I think.'

With a nod, Dori walks off. Gandalf exits the dining room, ducking so as to not hit the doorway, but he doesn't see the chandelier in the hall, and hits his head on it.

He starts to count the dwarves on his hands as they pass. 'Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori, Ori!'.

Bifur walks up to Gandalf and says 'Pa'îmaha ut kari ba.'
'Yes, you are quite right Bifur, we appear to be one dwarf short. Actually two dwarves.'

...