The Hobbit: An unexpected Journey

The Quest

'We appear to be two dwarves short.'

Dwalin lounges in a near corner.
'Thorin is late, is all. He travelled North to a meeting for our kin. He will come.'

Dori approaches Gandalf, glass of wine in hand. 'A glass of red wine, as requested, it's got a fruity bouquet.'
Gandalf gulps down the lush, red wine.

All the dwarves are seated around Bilbo's dining room table. They are messy about preparing and eating their food.
Gandalf sits in the middle of the chaos, calm and collected.

Bofur sits at the end of the table. He grabs a loaf of bread from out the basket.
'Bombur, catch!'

He throws the bread across the table, towards Bombur.
Bombur catches it in his mouth. The dwarves applaud uproariously.

Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. Gandalf stands up so Bilbo won't freak out more.
He opens the door, at the door is standing a young dwarf with long brown hair and bright blue eyes.

'Ah, Athèna, good to see you, come inside.'
You hear a lot of yelling and feasting coming from the dining room.

You take your cloak off and lay it on a bench you pass on the way to the dining room.
'Everyone this is Athèna, she will be joining us.' Gandalf announces.

Everyone is looking at you in silence. You give a quick smile to Dwalin and Balin. You see an empty seat next to Gloin.
You only know Gandalf, Balin, Dwalin and Thorin, but Thorin isn't here.
You go and sit down, and the dwarves go on with their feasting, yelling and throwing food.

Bilbo watches the dwarves feast. It is clear that he is disgusted. Quickly, he turns to face the pantry.
It is completely cleared of food.

Nori enters the kitchen, using a doily to clean his glass. Bilbo comes in behind him and rips the doily out of his hands.
'Excuse me, that is a doily not a dishcloth.'

Bofur lounges against a cupboard. 'But it's full of holes.'
'It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet.' 'Oh, and a wonderful game it is too, if you have the balls for it.'

'Debother and confusticate these dwarves!'

'My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?' Gandalf asks
'What's the matter? I'm surrounded by dwarves! What are they doing here?

Nori hoists a chain of sausages over his shoulder. Bofur grabs one end, trying to take them from him. Gandalf observes the scuffle, amused.

'They're quite the merry gathering , once you get used to them.' 'I don't want to get used to them.'
Bilbo leads Gandalf into the hallway.

Bilbo points at the mud splattered rug.
'There's mud trod into the carpet, they've pillaged the pantry! I'm not even going to tell you what they've done to the bathroom; they've all but destroyed the plumbing! I don't understand what they're doing in my house!'

Ori approaches the pair, tapping Bilbo on the shoulder.
'Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?'

'Here you go Ori, give it to me.'
Fili takes the plate, quickly turning and throwing it to Kili, standing at the doorway. Kili throws the dish into the kitchen, where Bifur stand beside the sink, catching all of the plates and putting them neatly into the sink.

Bilbo watches as the dish throwing cycle continues.
'Excuse me, that's my mother's West Farthing crockery, it's over a hundred years old!'

The dwarves ignore him, and continue to throw the plates about. Bilbo hears beating and scraping from he dining room. He goes to investigate.

Bofur. Dori Nori and you are sitting at the table, rhythmically drumming on the table with their utensils.
'Could you please not do that? You'll blunt them!'

'Ooh, you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives.'
Fili and Kili continue to throw the dishes around, singing to the beat of the banging utensils.

Blunt the knives, bent the forks!
Smash the bottles and burn their corks!
Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
Cut the cloth, tread on the fat!
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!
Pour the milk on the pantry floor!
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl, pound them up with a thumping pole!
When you're finished, if they are whole, send them down the hall to roll!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Bilbo rushes around his house, frantic and panicked. He sprints into the dining room.

Gandalf and the dwarves are circled around the table, laughing. All the dishes are stacked neatly on the table, sparkly clean. Bilbo is relieved.

Suddenly, there is a loud knock at the door. Everyone goes quiet.
'He is here.'

The door opens. There, standing on the doorstep, is a noble looking Thorin Oakenshield.
'Gandalf, I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door.'

Gandalf shuts the door behind Thorin. All the dwarves bow at his presence. Bilbo pushes through the crowd, entering the hall.
'Mark? There's no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago.'

'There is a mark; I put it there myself. Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield.'

Thorin steps towards Bilbo. There is stark judgement in his eyes.
'So, this is the hobbit. Tell me, Mr Baggins, have you done much fighting.'
'Pardon me?'
'Axe or sword? What is your weapon of choice?'
'Well, I do have some skill at Conkers, if you must know, but I fail to see why that's relevant.'
'Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar.'

The dwarves laugh at Thorin's jest. He gives them a warm smile and walks towards you.

'Athèna, it's good to see you again, I'm glad you're coming with us.'
He embraces you. 'It's good to see you too, Thorin.' He gives you a smile.

He walks himself down the hall.

The dwarves sit around the table with Thorin, who picks at some soup. Gandalf sits beside him, smoking pipe. Bilbo watches from the doorway.

'What new came from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?'
'Aye. Envoys from all seven kingdoms.'

The dwarves murmur in excitement.

'What did the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?'

At that moment your focus goes to a brown-haired young dwarf who's sitting on the other side of the table, Kili.
You feel him staring at you.

You say in his mind 'Are you going to keep staring at me or are you going to pay attention to what they're saying.'
He looks at you, startled.

You smile a bit and pay attention again to the conversation between Dwalin and Thorin.
Thorin hesitates, frowning. All eyes are on him.

...