If I could turn back the time...

Someone I really could care for

(Note: translations at the very end.)

———

Christmas is a mess, the Cardinal receives agonising news and you revel in the bliss of living in the moment. Or do you not?

———

"Yeah you just... ah fuck, Stella! No, not in this pot!", you say, agitated but trying to keep calm. You're seething internally. "Are you even listening to me?". Your sister clearly doesn't really focus on the task at hand. Family dinner's in an hour and you still haven't nearly managed to finish the goddamn food. Honestly, you had hoped her and her boyfriend's short trip would've taken longer than just one night.

"I don't want the fucking potatoes that I bought from my money to get fucked up just because you put them in the wrong pot", you add, your sister already a bit tipsy.
"Nah come on, kiddo!", she giggles, rolling her eyes, "why are you so annoyed?! It's Christmas, you should actually be the happiest person on earth right now, being able to celebrate it with your dear family."
"Yeah well", you add, clenching your jaw without her noticing, "if you listened to me for once, it would be much easier for me to enjoy it. Now, how about you go and lay the table? It's gonna be quicker if I do this here... on my own". You cock your head, urging her to leave. Stella snarls, huffing in annoyance.
"Jesus, kiddo!", she laughs, "I think you're in desperate need of a man to calm you down!". She turns around, walking out and shaking her head. Your shoulders drop and you look after her in disbelief. If she only knew you already have the man you've been wanting to have for such a long time. And if she only knew how much you'd rather spend the entirety of Christmas just with exactly him. This family get togethers becoming more and more insufferable each time you come back. It's especially bad this year, but maybe that's because you know you could have a way better Christmas this time.

You keep cooking, longing for a glass of the Cardinal's wine. He would know exactly which one to have with the food you're cooking right now. Thinking about last night, you almost forget to stir the sauce, remembering the way he first fucked you senseless several times and then cheered you up so you could tackle today, encouraging you and promising he would keep his phone close in case you needed to vent. He's such a sweetheart, you think. Everything you ever needed and you can't have him with you right now. You couldn't bare the comments your family would throw at you if they ever found out you're back with your ex. That would be devastating.

"Bella?", you hear a voice address you. It's your father. Your stir awake, alarmed that you haven't stirred the sauce for a quite while now. "Are you alright? You sounded irritated", he asks, coming to pat his hand on your shoulder. You sigh, closing your eyes for a moment.
"A well, it's fine, thank you, babbo", you smile weakly, looking into his calm eyes. He's always been the one to bring you down to earth again. "Just the regular Christmas stress hitting me", you admit. He smiles, kissing your scalp lightly, so soothingly familiar. "Don't overwork yourself, bella, you're doing so much for us already!". Sighing, you pat his balding head. "I won't, I promise!", you chuckle, returning to the stove as he slowly walks out of the kitchen with a smile. He's gotten old, you think, and you can't help but smile a bit bathing in his loving presence.
"Babbo", you call him, turning around to face him once again. He looks back at you, steadying himself at the doorframe with one hand. "Sì bella?", he asks, smiling at you every so wearily, but with so much love for you. "Ti amo", you smile, blowing him a kiss. His eyes light up, and he catches it, placing it in front of his heart. "Anch'io ti amo, bella!". With a big and genuine smile, he leaves the kitchen, letting you do your work the way you like to do it. All by yourself.

———

"I'm gonna start believing that this Christmas thing is really a lot more stressful than fun for those religious people", Terzo snickers, pouring himself some wine, "I mean look at how they all run around looking for overpriced Christmas presents literally one day before they need them". Copia looks up from the table, fumbling around with his gloves. He just can't concentrate right now. Everyone's here. His three brother's, Papa Nihil and Sister Imperator. And there's an ache in his heart, because he misses you already. He can't believe he's ever been this clingy ever since you met again.