I miss you pt2

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This is part 2 to the previous chapter

Alright so this is probably the saddest chapter ever, so have some tissues ready...

⚠️TW: Sh, loss, mention of sewerslide

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I looked at the clock. 7.38am. Despite going to bed late last night, I couldn't sleep. I got up from my bed and walked downstairs.

I entered the kitchen and decided to make myself a musli bowl since I couldn't make any noise and wake the whole house up.

Once done, I sat down on the couch in the living room and scrolled through social media on my phone. I checked Google too.

Everyone forgot. No surprise, why would they remember?

I awoke to Rye gently shrugging my shoulder. “Hmm?” “It's 10am, little one, I thought you might want some time to get ready” He softly explained and I noticed he was already holding the empty bowl from my meal.

Despite that there wasn't really a huge age difference between us, Rye almost immediately began calling me ‘little one’. I didn't mind since it was somewhat cute but I stayed with ‘Rye’.

Mum also found it sweet and immediately knew she found the right guy - how he treated us and her and how we all immediately liked him and felt comfortable together. I guess that's why they married just after knowing each other for a little over a year.

“Yeah, thanks. When are we leaving?” I asked him while stretching out. “Whenever you're ready. Nell and Billy are ready, waiting at your dad’s, so we’ll just text them when we’re on our way” I nodded along and walked upstairs to begin getting ready.

I came back downstairs wearing light makeup and a long, black and long sleeved dress with tiny sparkles on the sleeves and waist. My hair was curled and tied up in a half up half down hairstyle.

“You ready?” Rye asked, getting up from the stool by the kitchen island. I nodded my head and we got dressed and left.

The whole ride was silent. None of us knew what to say. I texted my siblings and they said Dad would drop them off. He wasn't coming with us. He only went the first time but hasn't come since.

“Hey sis” Billy called out to me as we got out of the car. I noticed Nell was holding a huge bouquet of pink roses. We all greeted each other and strolled through the gates and the park, talking along the way.

We reached our target and Nell carefully placed the flowers on the granite. Rye pulled out the candles we bought together last week and lit them. We cautiously arranged the decorations around the tombstone and cleaned it.

We stepped back and eventually agreed it looked good. “It's beautiful. Like Mum” Nell quietly whispered the last part but we all heard it. I wrapped my arm around her as she leaned her head onto my shoulder. “I know. I miss her too” I agreed, letting the silent tears fall down my cheeks, wishing Mum was here to wipe them away.

“People say grief gets better over time but that's bullshit. It's been 4 years and it just keeps getting worse” Billy stated while looking at us. We all just nodded in response, not knowing how to react.

It really was hard. For all of us but I took the pain out differently.

I often heard Nell crying in her room or found Billy listening to loud music all the time. I instead started hurting myself. Almost each night, the pain was too much to handle and I took it out on my skin. I haven't told anyone - there's no point in worrying them even more.

But I often think of how relieving it would be to leave all this pain behind and join Mum. I’ve nearly tried once but something held me back. Maybe Mum tried stopping me. But nevertheless I've realized I need to be there for my family. It's been incredibly hard but I'm fighting each day. For Mum…

Words count: 692


Pls let me know what you think of this and Ik its short but oh well

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