Chapter 16 (Annie): Priceless

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On Sunday morning, I received a box of donuts from my favorite bakery with a large hot coffee and a note:

Good morning, beautiful ~

Thank you for agreeing to go out with me last night. I enjoyed holding you in my arms while we danced. But I enjoyed talking with you even more. You've always fascinated me, Annie.

I'll look forward to calling you this afternoon.

~Alex

Hold the line, Annie, I spoke sternly to myself as I reached for my first donut. Don't give in for some -- mmmmm, oh...my...gosh, they're still hot! -- donuts.

Alex and I still had a way to go. He needed to explain some things to me and not in the me, Tarzan, you, Annie way he'd done before when he showed up to explain our new circumstances to me.

I ran my usual Sunday morning errands and had just returned home when my phone rang.

"Hi, Annie," Alex's warm voice greeted me. "It's the afternoon now."

"Hi, yourself," I said, laughing when I realized it had been exactly noon when he called.

"I know it's late notice, but honestly I hate the thought of waiting another week to see you again, so I was wondering if you'd be willing to have a Mexican food and margarita dinner with me tonight."

Donuts to start my day. Margaritas and Mexican food to end it. If he offered ice cream afterwards, I might propose.

No! A man providing your favorite food is NOT a reason to get married, Annie. Stay strong.

"What time?" I asked.

"Since it's Sunday and we have work tomorrow, what about six?"

"OK," I said. 

"I'll pick you up then."

Was it crazy to go out two nights in a row with this man who had pissed me off so badly? I was going to blame the lure of margaritas and Mexican food and not the man himself  for accepting his offer.

At exactly six, Alex knocked on my door, and it dawned on me that he was knocking now instead of using his lock picks to let himself in. Clearly I was looking for any signs of progress with this man, uncertain if a man no longer breaking into my place was too low a bar.

"You look phenomenal, Annie," he said, his eyes appreciative even though I was just wearing jeans and a Henley. "I've always liked your hair like that."

For the record, I'd left my hair down and had done nothing more than brush it. 

He handed me a little gift bag.

"What's this?" I asked, taking it from him.

"Just some Snickers bars."

My favorite candy bar. I couldn't even count the number of times Alex had caught me eating one in the afternoon at work or even buying one from the vending machine.

"I'll take those to work tomorrow. Thank you," I said, then put the bag down on the coffee table. "Ready?"

Half an hour later, I was finishing my first margarita and some excellent, freshly made (right at your table) guacamole with homemade tortilla chips. Alex was leaning toward me, watching me enjoy my food, occasionally swiping a chip. It wasn't until I was on my second big-as-my-head margarita and my fajitas and his quesadillas arrived that I was feeling loose enough to ask my questions.

"Why someone like me, Alex? Why not...me?"

OK, cut me off, please.

Alex took a swig from his beer. He was still on his first one, so I knew his head wasn't feeling floaty. I appreciated that he didn't immediately deny it or scramble to answer me or even change the subject.

"I've been thinking a lot about why I said that," he said, his eyes serious and trained on me. "And I don't even know if I can give you a good answer to it. It's one of those things you ask yourself with hindsight and wonder what the hell you were thinking because looking back, it seems so fucking obvious."

"Well, try explaining anyway," I told him, downing some more margarita. "Because I don't understand."

"I'm not sure I do, either. I'd never had a relationship before, Annie. Never. You know how I was, you know what my reputation was. I'd backed into a relationship with you so gradually that I wasn't even aware of it. You were my Annie and you were something I'd never had before: a lover and a friend. And that was new to me -- a friendship like we had with a sexual side. We'd come together like a fucking inferno...but then we talked. About everything. We'd jump into bed, wreck each other and then watch a movie together or go have ice cream."

Alex gave me a smile, the same one he always gave me when I asked to go get ice cream. It was sweet and tender.

"It was easy being with you, Annie, easiest thing in the world, and I always loved being with you and couldn't wait until I saw you again, but I thought there had to be more...and the more was drama. Rory had unbelievable drama with Xane; Gracie and Wyatt were and still are total drama, but you were drama-less. You were happiness and sweetness and comfort and you always made me smile, and I always wanted to make you happy and earn your smiles and be your comfort."

I felt a little bit as if I was swimming in my margarita, unsure if anything Alex was saying made sense. I thought it did, but that could be due to my drink that was the size of a kiddie pool.

"I thought we were just friends with benefits. I finally understood that term with you, Annie. I was with you for two years, and I was so fucking stupid not to recognize it for what it was. So I wanted someone like you who could also give me the drama I thought was missing with us."

"So because I wasn't some crazy bitch --?"

 "You never had a dramatic moment in the two years we were together; at least you didn't until I told you I wanted someone like you."

 "You deserved drama for that asinine comment. And where did Shelby fit in to all of this?"

"She seemed nice enough when she was my handler."

"Nice enough? That's not a ringing endorsement. Very clinical of you."

"I was prepared to approach it like a mission. I had the target acquired, and all that was left was to pursue it."

"So what happened?"

"She wasn't you. The time I went to lunch with her, all I could fucking talk about was you. It was driving me nuts that you were out to lunch with Creighton. I didn't know what was between you two, but I didn't like it. Shelby kept trying to turn the conversation to her or to us, but I kept bringing you up. She wasn't happy with me, and I figured out about five minutes into the lunch that I wouldn't be pursuing her. I had it all wrong, Annie. I said I was ready to settle down and have a relationship, but I didn't realize I had already settled down and was in a relationship with you."

No, he certainly hadn't.

"I'm sorry for telling you I wanted somebody like you, Annie, and for not seeing I already had who I wanted in you. Hurting you is the last thing I wanted to do but I managed to do it anyway."

"And why is that, Alex?" I asked him, not caring if I was putting him in the hot seat.

"Because I was careless with what was between us. Because I was too clueless to realize that what was between us was exactly what I wanted. What I want."

I sipped my margarita again, thinking he was done.

"And now I want to show you that I can and will care for what's between us because I know exactly how priceless what we have is."

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