textbook exception; z.hao

two

" coming of age film "

zhang hao

2017

i find life to be utterly boring, if it wasn't for a certain raven-haired, i'm convinced i would've killed myself out of boredom. twelve forty five on a school night, i found myself wandering out in the city, my peripheral vision dimmed, the sky-scrapping buildings, statuesque of one's work beaming in stardust fairytales light, even late at night; people seems busier than ever, everywhere and every-when.

these days i felt myself slipping away from my grasp, the years of constructing my namesake might crumble sooner than ever; the casual rivalry i created out of curiosity, or perhaps for my own gain; a coping mechanism, a desire to keep the throne i was destined for, my self-made prophecy. who believes in prophecy anyways? it's not the 90's, i sigh making my way to the park, my hands weeping on its own, slightly shivering as i have forgotten to wear a proper clothing for the chilly weather, it wasn't this cold when i left; probably because it's been hours— let me just stay a little longer, out in the cold rather than the warm suffocating house.

...

stolen glances and lingering gaze, glancing without much to say, my peripheral went back to the black board which only have 'self-study' written on, not minding the late-comer, hurrying her way towards her seat, gasping for air with relief since the teacher was absent. why was she late anyway? it wasn't like her.

"you're coming in late now? has becoming first made you feel at ease?" turning my body towards the back, teasingly sneering at the female. i'd like to asked her of her reasoning to ease my mind, but that would never happen, i'd rather die than admit it. actually— it wouldn't be so bad, wait, never mind.

unbeknownst to me, instead of a sneer from her, what was given was a mere glare— it wasn't even a glare; just staring right into my soul before she adverts her focus somewhere else. i watched her pulling out her books and stationery, taking it into account as i went back to what i was doing earlier. i was about to taunt her but decided to go against the idea instead, feeling too tired to utter another word.

huang hera

i sprint my way towards the four-floored building in a hurriedly manner. my breath circulation making it's way to be against me as i start gasping for air. arriving at the entrance of the classroom, the cherry-flavoured smell of ones cologne the only think caught my attention; a sense of relief rush over my body, realising the absence of the teacher in charge.

the soulless pair of eyes, i've known too well not to care— sky painted pitch-black despite there being a rainbow mooning itself on top of us, the metre distance between ethereal and heartaches; which can't be describe with photographs let alone meaningless words scribbled on paper. i care too much to hate.

"coming in late now?—" i don't recall any words after that, his eyes drowning me in, spiral of the earthy crack of dust pulling me in as if it's in need of survival; ruining everything in its way for— the unknown. i broke the contact between us, too short to read his mind, but too long to creep him out. volleyball training last night lasted longer than expected, losing tracks of times as national coming up.

sport was never really my thing, until grade 8th which i was practically forced into joining a club to boost my curriculums activities, fallen to be a victim of volleyball which i somehow had stuck with ever since, medals and certification collecting its way to the lonely walls of my rooms. a few days back, i was met with the news of being accepted into the U19 team; being able to compete in the nationals.

"you're coming to night class?" hao asked, i'd usually hated to engage in a conversation with the male, the labyrinth of my feelings seems to tie in a knot. "no, national's coming up" i respond briefly, my eyes stays on the scribbled textbook. series of hum and words of affirmation was heard on the speaker located on the corner of each class, the broadcasting students doing they're job; everyone loathe it, so what's the point anyway?

not hearing any response from the male, i look towards his seat only to find his lingering gaze on me, i tilt my head to my right; confused as to his unusual behaviour, by now he would've been running his mouth.

...

i stare at the reflections on the mirror, reflecting the yellowing collar of my uniform and stitched up shoes, changing into a more appropriate clothes for training. staring at the locker door with unbeknownst gaze, i closed it, making my way towards the gym, intensive sessions with swear dripping on the floor, squeaking sounds of shoes colliding with the floor with less than a second before changing position, a scene of borealis one could only see in screen.

the clock displayed read eleven twenty four, way past the time we supposed to end the trainings, i didn't really mind staying late; however i'm reminded of earlier today, shaking off my drench hair, i went back to the changing room, wiping off the build up sweats before packing my necessities.

first blow of autumn wind was long forgotten, winter approaching with the light falling of snow, the street light flinching on its own accord, lacking to do its job, i walked on cobblestone soon reaching the grass field in front of the four-floored building deemed school. light still on, indicating night classes haven't ended— weird, i thought; night classes usually end at eleven o'clock at night, it's eleven forty now. curiosity whispering its sweet-glaze words to check the building but went the opposite ways to get home quickly. my left hands grip the sport bag tightening it's grip as it starts to feel heavier than usual, maybe it's the tiredness getting to me. shoving my free hands inside the pocket of my school blazer, slight shiver run down my bare-legs, clearly not inform of the chilly weather. "it was so hot in the gym earlier" i could only sigh.

"you're still here?" a voice spoke from behind, i wouldn't been surprised if i didn't recognise the voice, relief i turn my body towards his. his feature more prominent with the street light shining on top, the gentle breeze of wind, the first fall of snow and him standing there effortlessly screening a coming of age memory film you'd say to be your favourite whenever someone ask. he was the epitome of a main character who catches everyones interest.

- we'd fall like snow on
the beach,
weird but fucking beautiful