Beyond Control

07

After getting home, I threw myself on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I couldn't believe that I agreed to do something like this. What would happen if security caught us? Would we get thrown in jail? It's not like we had any bad intentions. Emily was right about the fact that we deserved answers. Was it right to go to a point where we had to break into federal buildings?

The whole thing was causing my head to hurt. I forced myself out of bed so I could start packing for tomorrow. I opened my navy blue suitcase, and the first thing I packed was my undergarments and socks. I was gathering the rest of my clothes and let my mind wander. What would I tell my mom? What would I tell Xavian? What would I tell anybody?

I couldn't fathom this. I was not the adventurous or rebellious type. It was like my mind and body were battling each other.

My mind told me to stay and be content with what I knew. My body was urging me to go, almost screaming at me to resolve the gunfire going on in my body.

I stopped for a moment. Was this what I wanted? More than anything, I wanted to be with Emily. She is as desperate to find a resolution to the origin of our powers, obviously going to the point of breaking the law.

My phone, which was sitting on my pillow, buzzed quietly. I picked it up and opened it to see a text from Emily.

"Are you busy? If not, can we call?"

Considering no earlier messages indicated her desire to call, I suspected she wanted to discuss something troubling. Was she changing her mind?

I quickly responded saying, "Sure. I'm just packing for tomorrow."

As I set my clothes in my suitcase, my screen changed to show that she was calling me. I swiped to answer and put her on speaker so I didn't have to hold my phone while I was packing.

"Hey, Em," I spoke, setting the phone down. "What's up?"

Emily cleared her throat and spoke in a different tone I wasn't used to. "Nothing much. My mind won't shut up."

"Yours too?"

She sighed. "It's dawning on me that we're doing this. I know I've been confident about it so far, but I started feeling stressed once I started thinking about it. Based on what you said, I assume you feel the same?"

"I do," I answered. "Like I said at the restaurant, I'm not a guy that does this kind of thing."

Emily chuckled. "Eli, I don't think anybody normally does this. We're breaking into the capital building."

Hearing her chuckle naturally brought a smile to my face. "I suppose you're right. It's not an everyday thing, is it?"

"I don't think it is," Emily chuckled a little more before stopping. "I do want to talk about it, though."

I pursed my lips, trying not to start stressing about it. "Okay. What is it?"

"Listen, I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to do," she started. I packed my last set of clothes before picking up my phone and sitting on the bed beside the suitcase. "I realize that I sort of assumed that you'd be okay doing this, and I'm sorry. If you don't want to go, I'd completely understand."

Hearing her apologize so openly took me off guard, yet it made me feel good that she thought to do it in the first place. I shook my head. "Don't be sorry, Emily. I want to go, but my anxiety's getting the best of me. Once I get into it, I'm sure I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?" Emily asked with worry. "Don't do this for me. Do this for yourself."

"I know," I responded, nervous about what I wanted to say next. "I'm going to come with you because I need answers too. I didn't realize how much I needed this until you spoke to me about it. I've been struggling to keep these powers to myself for so long, and I think this is a necessary step to learning how to accept this."