Ingrid is the epitome of a failing millennial at 30 years old. Dumped by yet another boyfriend, a troubled relationship with her family, her only friend lives abroad, and she is overweight, sedentary, broke, uneducated, and now unemployed. All she k...
Warning: this chapter describes scenes of verbal abuse, depression, and spoilers from the last episode of Attack on Titan and others.
The sky was painted in shades of orange and light blue, indicating together with the clock that Ingrid's been napping for a whole hour, which was quite common in her case, and could sometimes go on for two or three between occasional wake-ups. Maybe due to her reprehensible eating habits and diet, maybe because of her sedentarism and lack of motivation to live, perhaps it was the constant feeling of sensorial overstimulation and mental fatigue, or all reasons together. Point was, Ingrid's mind and body unlearned the meaning of well-rested and energetic after gaining those extra 20 kilograms during the year living with her ex-boyfriend (one of her biggest regrets was having believed him when he said she looked unhealthy being slim, and that he liked his women with "a lot of meat" when they first started their on-and-off relationship).
Whether she slept 1 hour or 24, she would wake up feeling like sleeping for another set of hours. Just like she felt when she opened her eyes to see it was almost 7, which meant she still had 4 hours before her mother's arrival from work. Shit, I'll have to tell her I lost my job. As if I needed some more humiliation from her. The thought of her mother giving her unsolicited opinion and completely ignoring that Ingrid was already tormented in self-hatred was daunting. The words she was used to hear from her mother were dreadful, unforgettable. When Ingrid's ex threw her out of their apartment (again, but this time, desired by her) and went back to live at her mother's house, she heard from her that she was a cobra, a demon, a person with a vile heart, and who only caused trouble in everybody's lives. As a matter of fact, she was the one to seemingly full of satisfaction let Ingrid know that her ex saw someone else just one day after she picked her stuff from the apartment. Remember these words had an already embittered Ingrid roll on her back face the ceiling for some time zoning out, then covering her eyes with her arm, defeated. Yeah, fuck it. Nothing new in my life, I've made it for 30 years, somehow.
Picking up her cell phone, one of the few things she was proud of in her life, since she bought it with her own money, working hard for it, she opened a heartfelt smile seeing the wallpaper, a picture from the scene where Levi sees all of his fallen fellow soldiers from the Survey Corps in the last episode.
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- You're so important, captain. - she spoke full of admiration - And so lucky. No one could ever deny your importance to the world and the Survey Corps. And, even when you faced so many hardships in the Underground and so many losses, you still found a reason to go on and be the best version of yourself. Erwin knew how lucky he was to have you as his right hand. Your mother loved you and never blamed you for the life she had. Kenny was proud of you and truly cared for your well-being, even if you don't believe it. If I had the chance to meet you, I think... - she couldn't finish the sentence because she didn't even know what she was trying to say. Attack on Titan has always fascinated her deeply, so much she was watching it for the third time since it's ending. It always warmed her heart how the friendships in the Survey Corps were genuine, deep and strong, how one would live and die for the other. Eren was so lucky to have Armin and Mikasa who loved him until the end, just like he loved them. Ingrid would often fantasize about a life in Paradis, being a soldier and fighting against the titans, laughing and spending time with her favorite characters, that was her way to escape from the fear, anxiety and depression she felt daily just waiting for the next wrecking ball meant to shatter her soul.
Unlocking the screen, her fingertips made their way to Norah's chat on Messenger. Ingrid didn't understand how someone didn't grow tired of her company after two months of almost daily talks, but some things you just accept until they're gone, so she thought. Norah was a lively American lady in her late forties whom Ingrid almost begged to share knowledge with her after learning from her psychological evaluation of Levi and her amazing writing skills. Soon they would talk about all kinds of stuff, and Norah soon turned into a positive influence and friends Ingrid felt comfortable to run to when life was too much to handle.
Norah had shiny straight black hair and blue eyes, and a sharp tongue, she was someone to share drinks, books and life experiences with. Solo mother of two, she never let circumstances portray her as a victim to pity, but laughed any kind of shit off with a wide smile (or an emphatic well-deserved "fuck off"). Amorous and affectionate, even living in the other hemisphere of the globe, she made Ingrid feel understood, important and loved, and the fact she was a fellow Attack on Titan fan descreased the chances of the younger being perceived as weird for treating the characters like real people in her heart. Ready to start another talk, Ingrid felt indiscribably grateful because the internet existed.
