humanoid shadows

ch-5 leave the past to die

She stared at nothing, She had been for a few hours. She slept for a little bit, but the rest was fruitless. It was the next morning. She should've been up by now if she was gonna complete the list. She has to hurry, but her body refuses to move no matter what out of that door. She can stand and move, but her body refuses to go outside. And when she tried to do the inside tasks on the list, her body refused. She didn't understand. 'How come I'm perfectly capable, yet I can't seem to do the list, my one purpose, at all!' She groaned and rolled over on her back, staring at the ceiling. 'I didn't even complete the list yesterday, not like the Parkinson's are alive anyways. I still could've gone to their house, though." She glared at nothing in particular. After all, she was mainly frustrated with herself. 'What is wrong with me? Your purpose is the list. And yet, I can't even seem to do that. What purpose do I have now? I was never good at feelings. But I thought I at least understood my own.' She flipped over, and as loud as you could in a place like this, she had a bit of a tantrum. She hit the sides of her bed and growled in frustration into her pillow like a stupid child. "I officially hate myself," She grumbled into her pillow. 'Why do I even do the list? Shut up. No. The list has no purpose. It's your only connection. Why does it matter? They are dead, and I can't remember anyway. They sort of abandoned me in a way. Shut up. What is stopping me from leaving? Or at least getting answers because this place clearly doesn't have any. I don't even know my own name. .... That's what I thought. You are arguing with yourself. You look stupid. Well then, you look stupid to because you are me.' She got up from her bed and walked over to the list. She stared at it before glaring and ripping it up in a sudden outburst. "I'm tired! I'm tired of the monsters! I'm tired of not remembering! I'm tired of myself! I'm tired of the pain! I'm tired of everything! But most of all.. I'm tired of this fucking list! This little smidgen of the past! But it isn't the past anymore! Only the monsters of the present! But that little smidgen made me stick around in a place that no longer had space for me! I-I'm tired! I'm t-tired! I-im t-tired. I-i am t-tir-ed.. tears fell from her face, soaking into the ripped paper. She sat and cried, curling up into a ball against the cabinet for hours. Before her brows suddenly furrowed and she got up. Going into every room in the house and taking the stuff she might need with a distant look. 'I will go to the statue. It hasn't responded or given any indication it heard us since they came. If it doesn't respond, I'll make a new life traveling till I die. If it responds, I'll do what it asks.' She steps out of the door. Pausing and looking around for a moment before sneaking into the woods.
----------
She snuck into the gate and closed it, trying to avoid being caught by one of the beasts. She walked over to the statue with an unreadable but intense expression. She kneeled down and interlocked her fingers."Give me guidance, dear statue, for I am leaving no matter what. So you must say what you wish as a last request to influence my new purpose one last time." She sat there for a few minutes, and just as she was about to stand, an unfamiliar yet somehow familiar voice rang in her head. "Dear shadow, if you want closer, or at the very least the name you used to be called. You must go to the tree the shades lived in before they disappeared.  It has wisdom beyond me or even the average shade. And the shades knew all. It will have answers. Follow the north star once you leave this corrupt place, and never come back. There is nothing for a soul like you here, not anymore. I give you my best wishes, for I have been too weak to talk unless I wanted to leave this plane forever. So I saved it for the right moment. When you were ready. I am going to be wiped from existence, but I have nothing to live for anymore anyway. Goodbye, dear shadow. You are no longer the little shadow from a day ago. You are strong. And I have faith you will get past the peril of this journey." And just like that, the stone cracked and fell into a pile of lifeless rubble. She stared for a moment before kneeling one last time and placing a respectful and grateful kiss to one of the pieces before getting up. "Thank you, dear statue. you shall never be forgotten in my mind for your selfless act." She whispered before leaving the gated area. Never to return. And she ran, she ran past countless monsters, sprinting through the woods and putting her mask on somewhere in between. It was carved of wood and had small twigs that resembled horns on the top and bottom corners as well as markings carved into it. She ran, some monsters chased, but couldn't catch up. Some didn't notice, and some didn't even bother. She didn't know why she could suddenly outrun them. She had never seen them give up the chase or genuinely not be able to catch up. But she didn't nessecarily care either. She ran all through the night. Until the sun rose, and she saw the treeline. She stood just inside of it for a moment, in awe of what was beyond. Before stepping out of the forest. Away from the past, and to new beginnings and answers for closure. After all, the past has been long dead. She just couldn't accept it for a long time. Actually, no, a part of the past was still alive. But only in her once delusional mind. And she was finally leaving the past to die. "Let's fucking do this"
....
_________________________________________
End of ch-5
This was a big one!
I still have to figure out quite a few bits to this story for the next segment
But I hope you enjoyed this first bit of the story
As always, constructive criticism is welcome
Have a good day/night
And thank you for making it to the end of ch-5
you seriously don't know how much it means to me
:]
-author