Skulduggery Pleasant + Gravity Falls: Magic & Mysteries Unite!

Magic & Mysteries

"Hold on, hold on, let me get this straight," Stan said as he handed Valkyrie a can of Pitt Cola. "You two are like Supernatural Superheroes?"
It was late evening and they were all sitting at the kitchen table. The Shack was closed and the tourists had gone home.
Stan had somehow convinced them all that it was all part of the tour; that the blood and bones were all faked. They had all cheered and applauded; commenting on how real the effects looked and given Stan extra money.
Valkyrie was amazed. Ford said that Stan had inherited the 'gift of the gab' from their Mother.
"Well... no. Not really, I wouldn't call us that." Skulduggery said, as he took out his phone. "If you'll excuse me." He stepped into a other room and dialled Ghastly's number.
"What about you, kid?" Stan asked Valkyrie. "Do you call yourselves Supernatural Superheroes?"
Valkyrie laughed.
"We call ourselves Sorcerers or Mages."
"But not Witches or Wizards?" Mabel asked, she was wearing Skulduggery's hat. Which was also amazing because Skulduggery didn't allow anyone to wear his hat, not even Valkyrie.
"You don't ride broomsticks and have Wands like in Harry Potter, right?"
"Some of us actually do use wands, it all depends on the discipline."
"Discipline?" The twins said in unison.
"Magic isn't all the same, there are Elementals; like Skulduggery and I, and there are Adepts. I have a friend who can walk on walls and ceilings, my boyfriend is a Teleporter."
"A Teleporter?" Ford asked in amazement.
"Can he travel to different Dimensions?"
"No, but he has opened a portal to a different Dimension. The first time he was forced to, the second time he did it so I could rescue Skulduggery."
"You... went to a different Dimension?" Stan asked, Ford sat back in his chair, stunned.
"Once it was filled with civilisation, but they were quickly destroyed by a race of Gods called the Faceless Ones. When I went there, it was hot and empty; save for a few nasty beings, but that's a story for another time."
She looked at Dipper and Mabel as they stared at her with wonderment in their eyes.
"Are you two going to be okay?" She asked.
"Heh, we deal with stuff like this all the time," Dipper said with a nonchalant wave of his hand.
"So, like.... What happened? How old were you when you found out about this magic biz?" Mabel asked, both hands on the table leaning forward.
"Well... I was 12-"
"Just like us!"
"-and my Uncle.... He died. Turns out he was murdered by one of the bad guys. But we stopped him. He's dead too. There have been other bad guys. Most of them are dead, and the rest of them want me dead."
"Jeez, lotta death in the magic community..." Stan mumbled.
Skulduggery returned as he hung up his phone and put it back his jacket pocket.
"What's that, Stan?"
"I was just sayin' that there's a lot of death around you magic guys. What's your story, Bones? How'd you end a living Halloween decoration?"
There was a pause as Skulduggery slowly sat down.
"The short story is that my wife and child were murdered in front of me-by the same man who murdered Valkyrie's uncle, I might add-I was tortured for days, after I finally died my body was stuck on a pike and burned and then I woke up a literal bag of bones."
The whole room was quiet, even the crickets outside weren't chirping.
"The long story is the same, only with more history and tons of graphic and horrific detail."
"The short story was fine, thanks..."
"Ghastly's on his way with Tanith and Fletcher. They're teleporting to Washington State and then they're making their own way over here." Skulduggery said, directing his attention to Valkyrie.
"But if he's a Teleporter," Ford said. "Why can't he come straight here?"
"Fletcher can only Teleport to places he's been before," Valkyrie answered. "But with a lot more training, he'll be able to Teleport to wherever he wants."
"You mentioned this Ghastly before," Stan said as he opened a can of brown meat. "You said he's a boxer, is he like you?", he gestured to his face.
"No, he's of flesh and blood", Skulduggery said. "He's also an excellent tailor."
"Made me these clothes that I'm wearing," Valkyrie said proudly.
"Do you think he could make me a Supersuit?" Soos asked excitedly.
"I want my Supersuit to have a cape!"
"No capes, Soos." Stan muttered with a mouthful.
"Aww..."
"The clothes Ghastly makes," Valkyrie explained. "Not only look amazing, but they've saved my life on numerous occasions; this coat had stopped me from getting shot and has cushioned my fall when I've fallen off of buildings and landed in trees."
"Could he make me a protective Sweater?" Mabel asked. "I knit all my own Sweaters but the only thing the do is keep me warm."
Valkyrie looked at Mabel's Sweater; it was pink with a strawberry wearing sunglasses riding a skateboard with 'Berry Cool' written in sequins and glitter around it. She could also detect a hint of strawberries.
"They also look super cool," Valkyrie said with a smile.
"So, what was that thing that attacked today?" Dipper asked as he opened the Journal. "I've never seen anything like him before, and I've been up against a lot of strange creatures."
"How is Multibear, anyway?" Mabel asked.
"They're doing ok, I've given them my BABBA cd collection to keep them entertained."
".......a what bear?" Valkyrie asked as Skulduggery leaned forward to look at the Journal too.
"Mind if I take look?"
"Sure, go ahead." Dipper said as he handed the Journal over.
Valkyrie looked over Skulduggery's shoulder as he flicked through the pages; amazed at what had been recorded.
"This your Journal?" She asked Dipper.
"Actually, it's mine," Ford said with a small smile. "It's all part of my research into the weirdness of Gravity Falls. Dipper found my Journal after I, uh... disappeared through a Portal of my own making."
Stan looked away and moved over towards the sink.
"Well," Skulduggery said. "I must say, Ford, you have captured some truly amazing-" he stopped short, staring at the image on the page; Valkyrie looked closer.
On the page was a little horse-like creature, with the head of a Leprechaun and the body and horn of a Unicorn.
She could feel Skulduggery's befuddlement; she placed a hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing.
".....a 'Leprecorn'?" Skulduggery said slowly as he stared at the creature; if he had eyes they'd be bulging, if he had eyebrows they'd be frowning.
"Ah, yes." Ford said simply. "Annoying little buggers."
"They're more then that," Skulduggery said, irritation in his voice. "They're an affront against nature and the Irish! I'm mean, come on! 'Their horns are musical and play a constant loop of Danny Boy' ? What kind of sadistic being created this atrocity??"
Valkyrie had clamped both hands over her mouth now, she was shaking and almost falling out of her chair, her face was red and tears were running down her cheeks. She needed to laugh out loud soon or she'd pass out.
"Outside," Skulduggery said curtly.
Valkyrie ran outside and the air was soon filled with hysterical laughter.
"If I ever see this thing, I'm shooting it in the face." Skulduggery said as he continued to stare at the page.
The twins had gone outside to join Valkyrie in her fits of gasping and laughter.
"I've tried," Ford said. "It's impervious to any form of weaponry; the best you can do is throw it very far away and hope it eventually gets the message."
"I am going to punt that thing into the Sun..."
"What kind of scary dudes do you have, dude?" Soos asked, failing to see the funny side.
"Ghosts, Goblins, Vampires, Sea Hags, Old Gods, Mad Gods, Old Mad Gods. Y'know, the usual." Skulduggery continued to flip through the pages.
"Aw, jeez. Don't tell Mabel about the Vampires," Stan chuckled as he watched the three of them out front. "She's hoping her next boyfriend will be a Vampire."
"Oh, trust me: these Vampires aren't the shining, shimmering bunch you see in the Movies. These are monsters. They can go out in the daytime, injecting a special serum to keep the monster at bay, but once the sun goes down, if not properly armed, you wouldn't stand a chance..."
Stan's heart dropped. The thought of the kids going up against a monster like that was too much for him to think about.
"Hey, a Gremloblin!" Skulduggery said. "Now this looks amazing!"
Some time later, Dipper came back inside, taking deep breath's after laughing so hard.
"Ah, that was funny..." Dipper cleared his throat. "Uh,Skulduggery, I think your friends are here."
"Excellent," he said as he stood up and handed back the Journal.
"Come outside, you'll like these friends of mine."
They all made their way outside as Valkyrie quickly kissed her boyfriend who had very spiky blonde hair. Ghastly was there, the moonlight playing with his scars. Along side him stood Tanith Low; with her long tousled blonde hair and muscular form wrapped in tight brown leather.
"Woah..." Stan breathed. "He-llo, hot mama!"
"C'mon Stan, you can't be serious," Ford said as Stan adjusted his Fez in an effort to appear attractive. "She like, what, in her late 20's?"
"Actually, I'm 85 years old," Tanith said with a British accent.
"It's true," Valkyrie nodded, Stan practically had to pick his jaw off the ground.
"Holy Mosses..."
"Wow, what's your secret?" Ford asked as they all walked closer.
"Magic. It's slows down the ageing process," Ghastly explained.
"Are you dudes, like, immortal?" Asked Soos.
"Unfortunately, no. But if anything, I think that's a good think. If we were immortal, life would pretty boring."
"So, what's the plan for tonight?" Asked Fletcher, he was also British. "Where's that beasty guy? And where are we staying tonight? I spotted at least five hotels a few good miles back."
"He's unconscious and shackled in my Basement." Ford said, marvelling at Fletchers hair. "How on Earth do you get it to stay like that? Do you use some kind of magic hair gel?"
"Uh, j-just regular hair gel..." Fletcher said uneasily as Ford poked at it.
"Fletcher, you go down with Ford and teleport our prisoner to Kenspeckle's Lab; he can be checked over and then the Cleavers can escort him to Gaol." Skulduggery said, slightly amused at Ford.
"Lab?" Ford asked, his eyes lighting up. "Can I go with Fletcher to see this Kenspeckle and his Lab?"
"I don't see why not," Skulduggery said with a smile in his voice and his head tilted slightly. "Just tell him you're a friend of mine; he'd love that."
"Come on, Fletcher. Basement's this way."
"And after you're done," Valkyrie called. "Go to mine and grab me a pair of my PJs."
"Yes, dear," he said with a smile.
With Fletcher and Ford gone, the rest of them went into the Shack.
"Ok, kids. Time for bed," Stan announced.
"Oh, but Grunkle Stan, we can't sleep now!" Mabel whined as she clutched at his leg. "Can't we stay up a little longer?Pleeeeeeeaaase?"
Valkyrie smiled, Mabel had reminded her of herself; back when she was Stephanie. She hoped that Alice would turn out like Mabel.
"How about I stay with you and tell you both stories of all the adventures we've been on?"
Mabel gasped and her eyes lit up. "You mean like a sleepover?"
"I could take notes!" Dipper said.
"I dunno... What about your parents, Val? Won't they be worried?" Stan asked as Mabel jumped and gave Valkyrie a hug.
"It's ok. My reflection is at home."
"....reflection?"
"Yeah, think of it like this: I can be in two places at once."
Dipper had a flashback to Tyrone and the clones.
"Could I join?" Tanith asked. "I haven't been to a sleepover in... ever. And stakeouts don't count."
"Sure! The more, the merrier!" Stan said as he put his arm around Tanith; which garnered a stony look from Ghastly.
Fletcher and Ford returned, Fletcher had Valkyrie's pyjamas folded over one arm; Ford looked like he was going to throw up.
"Hey, Sixer, how was it? You look a little Green," Stan said concerned as Ford lurched to a corner of the room.
"He's fine," Fletcher smiled.
Ford vomited and groaned.
"He'll be fine." Fletcher handed Valkyrie her pyjamas and kissed her cheek. "There's a hotel nearby called The Renzetti; according to the reviews online, they have pretty comfy beds and there's also a jacuzzi."
"Sorry, Fletch," Valkyrie said. "Tanith and I are staying here tonight."
"For a sleepover!" Mabel said excitedly. "I'm gonna call Candy and Grenda!"
"You're welcome to join us," Valkyrie offered.
"As much as I'd love to stay in an old Shack that's probably infested with mould-"
"It is, but I wouldn't worry too much about it." Dipper said as Mabel called her friends.
"-I also promised to take Ghastly to that Wrestling match in Vegas before we settle for the night."
"Wrestling Match? In Vegas? You don't mean the Head Honcho vs The Gravedigger Match, right??" Stan asked. "I've been trying to get tickets for that Match for weeks, but it's sold out!"
"That's the beauty of being a Teleporter, my friend. I can get into anywhere I want for free!"
"Yeah, as long as you've been there before," Tanith muttered.
"How 'bout it, Ford?" Stan asked, after his brother had finished vomiting. "You haven't been to a Wrestling match before!"
"Actually, I'd like to go back to Kenspeckles; he has some really great ideas, he and I are going to compare notes and theories. He's a very fascinating and very intelligent man."
"Kenspeckle made a friend? Wow, I didn't think the old codger was even capable of making friends..." Fletcher whispered to Valkyrie, she elbowed him in the side.
"What about you, Soos?" Skulduggery asked. "What have you got planned for the night?"
"I have to give my Abuelita her highlights and then I have to drive her down to the Bingo; after that, I'm taking her dancing at the over-60s club."
"You're a good Grandson, Soos."
"Wait, what about the kids?" Stan asked suddenly. "What if that creepy guy has friends and they come looking for revenge?"
"Don't worry, we'll be fine, Stan. I have this." Tanith said as she pulled out her Katana from her coat.
"And I can do this," Valkyrie clicked her fingers, summoning a ball of flames in one hand. "And this," she conjured up a mass of shadows with the other.
"I'll stay behind, just in case," Skulduggery said as he clicked his fingers, also summoning a ball of flames and taking out his gun. "If anyone comes knocking, we'll be ready for them."
Stan turned to Ghastly. "And what can you-"
Ghastly clicked his fingers, a ball of flame in each hand before Stan could finish his sentence. "My mother taught me how to box, so if I can't use my magic in public; I can at least beat them up."
"Welp! I'm satisfied," Stan said after a silence. "Let's go, Spike!"
Fletcher narrowed his eyes.
Ghastly, Valkyrie and Skulduggery extinguished their flames as Tanith put away her sword.
"Let me drop your brother off first, and then I'll be back."
Ford placed his hand on Fletchers shoulder, they vanished with a soft pop.
While Stan and Ghastly waited, Valkyrie went to go get changed into her pyjamas.
"I have nothing to change into!," Tanith suddenly announced.
"Well-", Stan was about to say something crude when Ghastly shot him a look.
"-Uh, what, I mean is, I'm sure I have something you can wear. I'm fact, let me go and find something for you." He quickly scampered off as Fletcher returned.
"Ford seems pretty happy." He said.
"He's been stuck in another Dimension for thirty years," Dipper said as Stan returned with the clothes. "I bet it's nice for him to finally talk to someone who's on the same wavelength."
Stan handed Tanith the clothes and she stepped out.
"My girls are coming over!" Mabel said excitedly as she ran back in.
Skulduggery activated his Facade, a new face-pale skin with stubble and salt and pepper hair-flowed over his skull. He took his hat back from Mabel and placed it on his head at an angle.
"You have nothing to worry about, Stan," he said.
"Apart from myself, Tanith and Valkyrie are the best at what they do."
"You have a pretty big ego, don't you, Bones?" Stan asked.
"I've been staying that for years," Valkyrie said as she and Tanith returned.
Valkyrie with Grey flannel pyjamas and Tanith with black shorts and an orange tank top with a darker orange star on the front.
A few moments later, there was a knock at the front door.
"That's our cue," Ghastly said as he placed a hand on Stan and Fletcher.
Skulduggery checked the bullets in his gun.
"I'll be outside in the car, keeping an eye things. I'll make sure nothing happens to them." He went out through the kitchen.
"See ya, dawgs." Soos said as he went to his pickup truck.
"Brace yourself," Ghastly whispered.
Stan took a few deep breath's.
"Ok, I'm ready."
The trio vanished with a soft pop as Candy and Grenda entered.
"Hey, Dipper," Grenda said in her low voice. "Where's your Grunkles?"
"Great Uncle Ford has gone to visit a friend and Grunkle Stan's gone to a Wrestling match."
"So we get the place to ourselves?" Candy asked, excitedly clutching her magazine called 'Magazine Boyz'.
"Actually, we have two extra guests staying with us tonight," he said, gesturing to Valkyrie and Tanith.
"Woah..." Grenda said.
"Mid-eul su eobsneun", said Candy.
"I am pretty incredible," Tanith said.
"You can understand Korean?" Dipper asked.
"One of my ex-girlfriends was Korean. She taught me a few things."
"Neat," Mabel said as she brought in a tray of snacks, sodas and a jug of Mable Juice.
"Ok," Tanith said as she sat crossed legged in Stan's chair with a soda and a box of Chippackers. "Who wants to hear about the time I faced a Goblin on Westminster Bridge?"
"Or about how when I lead a group of angry Vampires to their deaths?" Valkyrie said and sipped a glass of glittery juice, wincing because it was too sweet.
"Goblins and Vampires?" Grenda asked as she opened a jar of Peanut Butter.
"I want to hear everything!" Mabel said as she cuddled her pet Pig Waddles.
"Everything?" Valkyrie and Tanith said union.
"How you got into Magic," Mabel pointed to Valkyrie.
"And we'll tell you about the time we faced an army of Gnomes," Dipper said.
"Gnomes?" Valkyrie's eyes widened. "I've never been up against Gnomes before."
"I have," Tanith said and shuddered.
"Did they try to force you to be their Queen?" Mabel asked.
"They tried to eat me."
"Woah, you win, girl..."
"Gnomes make me feel like a giant. I hate it!" Grenda said as she punched the floor with a Peanut Buttery fist.
"Will you take me to see the Gnomes?" Valkyrie asked as she buzzed with excitement. Or it could've been all that sugar surging through her veins, she couldn't tell.
"Only if you tell us everything, from the beginning," Dipper said as he took out a pen and note pad.
Valkyrie laughed. "Ok, Dipper. It's a deal."
Everyone made themselves comfy as Valkyrie started from the beginning, from seeing the skinny man with the Frizzy hair, scarf and sunglasses, wearing a long trench-coat despite the weather at her Uncles Funeral, to stopping a catastrophe that would have been captured on live TV and would also have resulted in hundreds of deaths.
As the night dwindled on, Skulduggery sat outside the Shack in his Bentley.
Quiet but alert.
Valkyrie had suggested that he should've just got a rental instead of shipping it to America. But Skulduggery didn't want to leave it behind, it would be like if he didn't have his head; he wouldn't be complete.
And he'd already been through that thanks to those thieving Goblins.
Skulduggery checked the rear view mirror, just in case his facade had gone wonky again. It hadn't , thank God. He was tempted to check in on Valkyrie, but he didn't want to disturb her, "Let her have this little piece of normality," he thought to himself.
He deactivated his facade and got out of his car; he decided he was going to check around the perimeter.
It was still quiet as he made his way round the edge of the woods. Ford had told him earlier that Gravity Falls wasn't what folk had considered 'normal'; that it attracted the weird, the strange and the unusual, and that he should always be on his guard.
Satisfied that nothing was going to jump out and tear his suit to shreds, he made his way back to the Bentley.
Scuttle.
He heard it. A strange scuttling sound coming from underneath the porch.
Scuttle scuttle.
Skulduggery took out his gun and slowly crept over. There was an opening, he knelt down and clicked his fingers, summoning a flame and held it towards the opening.
"Hello?," he called out. "Who goes there? Come on out, now."
He couldn't see anything. But he could hear more scuttling now, and chattering.
He slowly moved closer to the opening; his head was nearly inside when something jumped out at him with a skreeeeee!!!!
Skulduggery vaulted backwards and tripped over an exposed tree root, the screeching thing clung tightly to his face, a small hand in one of his eyesockets. Skulduggery threw the fireball, it went high into the night sky, and grabbed at the thing on his face.
"Let go!", he demanded, aiming the butt of his gun to strike it.
"Shmebulock!!", it bellowed and jumped off.
It turned and hissed at him; spittle landed in his beard.
Skulduggery aimed his gun and fired three warning shots at the ground next to it.
It yelped and scampered away on all fours into the woods.
Valkyrie and Tanith kicked open the door and burst from the Shack; Tanith gripping her sword tightly, and Valkyrie with her fire and shadows.
"What's going on? We heard gunshots!" Valkyrie said as Tanith ran out, jumped on a nearby picnic table and back flipped to the roof.
"It was this...weird little creature, scuttling about underneath the front porch; I asked it nicely to come out and it jumped on my face."
"What did it look like?" Dipper asked as he emerged with Mabel, Candy and Grenda.
"It was short, very short. With blue overalls, a red pointy had and a scruffy beard, and it went 'Shmebulock'. I've never seen anything like that before."
"Oh, it's only Shmebulock," laughed Mabel. "He's not a threat; if anything, he's just a small dummy-dumb."
"And what is this Shmebulock?" Skulduggery asked as he holstered his gun.
He didn't realise that Candy and Grenda were staring at him.
"A Gnome," the twins said.
"A Gnome?" Valkyrie asked as she extinguished her fire and shadows.
"Not fair! We were just talking about meeting the Gnomes and you got to see one first!"
"I was attacked, Valkyrie."
"Y-yeah, I get that. But still...," Valkyrie trailed off.
Tanith jumped down and sheathed her sword.
"Everything's fine on the roof."
"Excellent," Skulduggery said as he brushed off dirt from his lapel. "Now, there's just the matter of-"
"A talking Skeleton!", Candy exclaimed. "He is the Devil!" She held her rolled up magazine tightly and lunged.
"No, Candy! Down, girl!" Grenda grabbed Candy with one hand and held her back, her other hand was stuck in the Peanut Butter jar.
"Ah," Skulduggery said and turned to Mabel's friends. "Good evening, Girls," he doffed his hat and bowed his head slightly.
Candy struggled against Grenda's grip while cursing him in Korean.
"Candy, please!" Mabel came forward. "He's a friend, he won't hurt you...", she turned to Skulduggery. "Right?"
"Right. You have my word."
"Now that we're all friends," Valkyrie said as Grenda let go; Candy still held the magazine, but she wasn't going to attack any time soon.
"What was that Gnome doing under the porch, anyway?"
"Yeah, Mabel," Dipper said as he crossed his arms. "Why was Shmebulock under there? It couldn't be because a certain someone has been leaving snacks out again, right?"
Mabel stammered, trying to come up with an excuse.
"Oh, alright!", she huffed. "I've been leaving a box of muffins out every night..."
"Ha! I knew it!" Dipper said. "I knew it wasn't Soos who ate all the muffins!"
"But I didn't want the little guy to keep eating our garbage," Mabel said defensively. "It's unhealthy!"
"Look, we could stand out here and argue well into the early hours," Valkyrie said before there was a full on debate. "Or we could go back inside and finish our stories before Stan and Ford return."
"Okay...", the Twins said after a time.
"Everyone back inside, and I'll tell you all about how I went toe-to-tentacle with a group of eight-armed Octopus people," Skulduggery said as he ushered everyone back in.
"You told me there wasn't any eight-armed Octopus people!", Valkyrie said crossly.
"No, I didn't," Skulduggery said simply.
"I hate you..."
"No, you don't..."
Mabel, Dipper, Candy and Grenda got into their sleeping bags that were on the floor,
Valkyrie made herself comfortable in the armchair as Tanith sat upside down on the ceiling.
"Ok, everyone," Skulduggery said as he sat on the edge of the dinner table. "The year was 1840, I was in London, investigating the disappearance of an associate of the Royal Family. He name was Lord Austin Vanderwain the Third; an egotistical snob. He was meant to be at the Palace for a Royal meeting, but failed to show up."
Valkyrie smiled. She loved the sound of Skulduggery's smooth voice. She could feel her eyelids start to droop as Skulduggery continued with his story. He had just gotten to the part where he'd ripped two tentacles off an Octopus person and set another on fire (he made a joke about Calamari) when she finally drifted off to sleep...

*****

The next morning, Valkyrie woke up with a stiff neck. She groaned and stretched, her joints cracking.
"Urgh...", she groaned and sat up.
"That's what you get for sleeping on an armchair," Skulduggery said.
He was still sitting on the edge of the table with Waddles was chewing on his pant leg.
Skulduggery didn't seem to mind.
"What time is it?," Valkyrie yawned.
"It's time to fleece some suckers!", Stan said as he made his way through to the Gift Shop.
"Woah, when did you get back?"
"Your Teleporter boyfriend dropped me back a few hours ago," Stan said as he woke up Dipper and Mabel.
Tanith and Candy were already up, Grenda was still snoring like she was sawing logs.
"Urrgh, work?" Mabel groaned as Waddles left Skulduggery's leg and went and licked her face affectionately.
"How was the match?", Dipper asked. "Who won?"
"I, err... actually don't know," Stan reluctantly confessed. "I got kicked out."
"What? Why, what happened?"
"Long story short: some Redneck with a big hat sat in front of me, I tried to politely to get him to move and for some bizarre reason, I got thrown out!"
"Grunkle Stan..."
"Alright, I might have smacked him a little bit, but it was totally justified!"
"Stan...," Tanith said, disapprovingly from the celling.
"Woah. Didn't see you there, Tanya."
"Tanith."
"Same thing," Stan said as he grabbed a box of spare Taxidermy parts.
"It's really not..."
"Mabel, sweetie. Care to make your favourite Grunkle a new attraction?"
Mabel jumped up and ran to grab her glue gun, some pipe cleaners, and a whole load of glitter.
"Heh. I hope Ford likes glitter..."
Half an hour later, Wendy and Soos entered the Shack and started prepping for the tourists.
Fletcher returned with Ghastly and Ford not long after, he told them all about the excitement of the Wrestling match; Head Honcho was the victor and had invited all of his fans to an after party.
He had given Fletcher a signed t-shirt, which he was now wearing.
Stan wasn't amused.
Ford was telling everyone how his night with Kenspeckle Grouse had gone.
"I can't believe how similar ours minds are!", he gushed as he drank his morning coffee.
"It's astonishing to think that someone that has the same intellect as I has been around for hundreds of years! And he isn't some kind of corrupt being either; he helped me complete an unfinished thesis that I had abandoned years ago in just under half an hour!" Ford was smiling from ear-to-ear.
"Jeez, Sixer. You swallow a coat hanger or something?" Stan asked.
Ford refused to take the bait and continued to go on and on about how great Kenspeckle was.
Stan still wasn't amused.
"Here ya go!" Mabel said as she presented an indeterminate thing of feathers, shells, old flesh and glitter. "I call it: The turtlbird of Paradise! If you kiss it's glittery beak, your wish will come true..."
"Nice one, sweetie. Folk's will eat this up!"
"I don't get it," Fletcher said as he stared at the amalgamation of child creativity and nightmares. "You have real monsters out there that you could use for your Shack, why use all this fake crap?"
"Tried that," Dipper said as he rolled up his sleeping bag. "I may have traumatised a married couple."
"Ah, ok."
"And anyway," Dipper continued. "I'm starting to like all this fake crap."
"Watch your language," Stan said and swatted him with a rolled newspaper.
"So what's the plan for today?", Mabel asked as Tanith flipped down from the ceiling.
Grenda woke up with a deep voiced groan.

(Authors note: this is still a work in progress so please bear with me 😅)