Skulduggery Pleasant + Gravity Falls: Magic & Mysteries Unite!

Tunnel Vision

Sanguine tunnelled fast through the earth with Dipper and Mabel clinging tightly to him.
He slowed to an opening that lead to a solid rock wall.
He tapped it and a thousand little cracks spread outwards, he stepped through to a dark and dank cave; torches burned and flickered in steel brackets along the walls.
There was a huge chasm that was pitch black.
For all Dipper and Mabel knew, it could've been another'Bottomless pit'.
Sanguine dropped the twins and they hit the cold and dusty ground with a thud.
"Ooww..." Dipper moaned as he slowly sat up. "Mabel? You okay?"
She gave Dipper the thumbs up but was still laying face down.
He glanced around the cave, "Where are we? How did we get here so fast?"
"Well," Sanguine said, his voice echoing slightly. "That would be thanks to yours truly." He gave a small bow and grinned, the torch light reflecting in his sunglasses.
"Aah!" Dipper yelped and ran over to Mabel.
"Who are you? Some kind of humanoid gopher?" Mabel asked as Dipper helped her to her feet.
"Name's William-Raymond Sanguine, little lady," his Texan accent drawled. "But my friends, enemies and victims call me 'Billy-Ray'. Or 'Sanguine'. Which ever one you prefer."
"Are you going to kill us?" Mabel asked as she hugged Dipper tightly, the pair of them starting to shake as the fear set in.
"Now, now, come on. Don't be like that," he chuckled. "I haven't decided yet. It all depends."
"D-depends on what?" Dipper stammered.
Sanguine knelt down and looked at the twins with a sneer.
"There is somethin' in these here caves that I require, and I was hopin' that a certain Cain girl would help me retrieve it, but you two will have to do."
"W-what is it that you need?"
"That doesn't concern you for now," another male voice said, he sounded Irish.
Dipper and Mabel stepped back as a pale man, dressed in black with a scar across his face walked into the light.
Two women and a man, with pale skin, dull  bloodshot eyes and blood splattered clothes followed him.
One of the women growled and hissed when she set eyes on the twins.
"Easy there, darlin', " Sanguine said, standing in front of the twins. "You can chow down on the kiddies after we get what we came here for."
Tears fell as Mabel began to cry.
"Listen, man!" Dipper said, standing protectively in front of his sister. "Just let us go already! We're not going to help you!"
Sanguine grabbed Dipper by the back of his shirt and held him inches away from the growling woman.
"Well, well, well. Looks like someone's mighty eager to die today..."
"Dipper!!" Mabel yelled.
The other woman screeched suddenly and  lept forward to grab Mabel when the pale man with the scar grabbed her by the head and twisted, the sound of her breaking neck resounding throughout the cave.
"Jeez, Dusk..." Sanguine muttered as the dead woman fell to the floor. "Bit harsh, wasn't it?"
"She was beginning to get unruly," he said. His dark eyes went from the remaining woman and the man.
"Let that be a warning to you," his eyes bore into Dipper and Mabel. "To all of you.."
Mabel and Dipper both stayed quiet.
"Forgive my friend," Sanguine said as he let go of Dipper. "He can get a little...cranky when he's hungry."
"I am not cranky." Dusk said as he picked up the dead body and flung it over his shoulder with an unnatural ease.
"Hey, not my fault you Vamps ain't the 'sunshine and lollipops' kind, y'all need to develop a sense of humour; maybe smile more."
"I'll smile more when I've ripped your damn throat out..."
"Hey, now! Don't you go threatenin' me! We got ourselves a truce! I was the one who busted you outta prison, you know! Y'all wouldn't be free if it weren't for me! Heh. That rhymed."
"You're lucky that I don't eat junk food, Tex," Dusk snarled as he threw the body into a chasm, her form disappearing quickly into the abyss.
"Hey, don't call me 'Tex'. "
The man and woman stepped in line behind Dusk as he walked his way through the cave, not bothering to wait for Sanguine.
"Do you think Valkyrie has told Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford we've been kidnapped and now they're on their way to rescue us?" Whispered Mabel.
"I hope so," Dipper replied quietly.
"C'mon, kiddies! Time to get movin'!" Sanguine kicked at the twins, getting them to walk quickly in front of him.
After 20 minutes, Sanguine and the twins came to a junction.
"Ah, damnit," he muttered. "Where in tarnation did you go, Dusk?" He leaned in towards the left entrance. "Yo! Vamp! Ya there?" His voice echoed down the length of the tunnel. No answer.
He stuck his head in the right entrance. "Heeeeere, Dusky, Dusky, Dusky! Come on, boy! Come on out!" No answer there either.
"Huh. Which way did you go, you undead son-of-a..."
After a few moments, he took out a coin from his pocket and turned to the kids.
"Ok, you two gotta pick: heads or tails?"
"What?" Dipper asked.
Mabel was quiet. She was staring at the coin.
"Well, we gotta pick a way; and I usually leave it up to Lady Luck to decide. So, come on! Pick!"
"I'll do it!" Mabel said and stepped forward and held out her hand.
"W-why do have your hand out, little lady?"
"My Grunkle Stan says that I am uber lucky, so I get to flip the coin! Heads: we go left, Tales: we go right!"
Sanguine rolled the coin in his thumb and forefinger, contemplating.
"Hmm... well, why the hell not? It couldn't hurt to trust you to make the right choice."
He handed the coin to Mabel and she turned and stood next to Dipper.
"I choose... Tails!" She flipped the coin and it went high into the air. As Sanguine watched the coin flip, Mabel discreetly knocked Dipper's shoelaces loose with her foot.
Mabel winked at him and he stayed quiet.
The coin landed on Heads.
"Ooh... tough luck, little lady," Sanguine said as he slowly shook his head and smiled. "Looks like your 'Grunkle' was wrong about you." He turned and went left.
"You kids better keep up!" He called behind him.
Mabel picked up the coin and put it in her skirt pocket.
The trio, with Sanguine in front, walked through the long tunnel. And still no sign of Dusk or his stooges of the undead.
Dipper's shoelaces started to get looser and looser, until-
"Ahh!" He tripped and landed heavily.
"Hey! What's the hold up?"
"My shoe's untied!"
"Well, tie it up and get goin', kid!"
Dipper sat down retied his shoelace, only for Mabel to knock it loose again.
"Yah!" Dipper tripped again and skinned his knee.
"Jeez, kid! Again?"
"Yeah... Silly me, I guess it wasn't tight enough."
Sanguine watched Dipper tie his laces again, with Sanguine satisfied he continued to walk onward.
As Dipper went to follow, Mabel-once again-knocked Dipper's shoelaces loose and-once again-Dipper tripped.
"Wah!!" He yelped as he fell and landed heavily on his butt.
"Oh, for the love of-!" Sanguine turned and marched back to Dipper as he went to retie his shoelaces for a third time.
"Ya need to get some Velcro or somethin', kid. You're gonna trip and cause some serious damage one of these days."
He slapped Dipper's hands away and took hold of the laces.
"Okay, let's see if I can remember that rhyme that my dear dead Mama taught me: Bunny ears, bunny ears, playing by a tree. Criss-crossed the tree, trying to catch me....."
As Sanguine begrudgingly tied Dipper's shoelaces, Mabel crept behind him and picked up a big rock. She struggled slightly as she walked over and lifted it high above her head.
Sanguine was still muttering the nursery rhyme as Mabel angled her arms.
"There!" Sanguine said proudly. "That should stop ya from trippin' "
Mabel yelled as she hit him over the head, the rock breaking in two and bouncing away as Sanguine fell flat on his face unconscious.
His sunglasses broke when he landed.
"Natures snooze button!" Mabel cheered triumphantly.
Dipper jumped to his feet and skipped away from Sanguine.
"Oh, my gosh! Mabel! What did you do?!"
She grabbed Dipper's hand. "We gotta go!!"
"But, wait! Shouldn't we check that he's not dead?"
Suddenly, there was growling and snarling coming from the far end of the tunnel.
"There's no time! If we stay here any longer, we're gonna be dead!"
Hand in hand, the twins ran back the way they came.
They ran out the exit of the tunnel, back into the dark and dank cave.
"Oh, no! Where now?!" Dipper spun around, looking for another way out.
"Go right! Go right! Go right!" Mabel desperately shoved Dipper and they ran through the right tunnel.
"I-I wish I was wearing my lightbulb sweater!" Mabel huffed and puffed as they ran through the dark.
Up ahead, far in the distance, was a light.
"Look! There's light! It's got to be a way out of here!" Dipper pulled Mabel as he ran as fast as he could.
His legs were aching.
His lungs were burning.
But he didn't care, he just had to get himself and his sister out of this hellhole.
The light was closer now.
"Yes! C'mon, we're almost there!!"
Before they reached the light, cracks began to form on the left side of the wall.
Sanguine burst out with an angry yell, his head was bleeding and his sunglasses were gone.
He lunged and grabbed Mabel by the wrist, yanking her from Dipper's grip and slammed her into the wall.
The air left her lungs as Dipper tried to jump to save his sister.
Sanguine kicked and sent Dipper into the other side of the wall, he hit it and yelled as a sharp stone cut into his arm.
"You little brat," Sanguine snarled.
Mabel gasped when she saw that Sanguine had no eyes, just two hollow black holes where his eyes should be.
"I'm gonna make sure that you never pull anything like that again!"
He pulled out a straight razor and held it inches away from her throat.
There was an ungodly howl that shot up through the tunnel.
"What in the-!"
"It's the Vampires, man!" Dipper said as he cradled his bleeding arm. "They're chasing us! And if you don't help us escape, they'll be on you too!"
Sanguine thought for a minute.
He folded his straight razor and put it away, he let go of Mabel.
"Ok, kid. I'll help ya."
"The name's Dipper."
Sanguine took off his tie and used it to stop the bleeding.
The howls got closer. Sanguine picked up the twins and ran towards the light.
The shining light hit Dipper and Mabel, blinding them slightly.
But Sanguine had no eyes to blind.
"Hang on tight and hold your breath!"
Dipper and Mabel drew in a deep breath as Sanguine jumped.
The wind rushed passed their ears as they plummeted down.
The ice cold water enveloped them.
As they plunged into the deep, deep water, two figures followed.
Dipper could see that Mabel had her eyes screwed shut and was holding on tightly to Sanguine.
He also saw that the man and the woman were struggling in the water.
Sanguine kicked his legs and swam to the surface.
They three gasped as they broke the water.
The Vampires flailed and screeched as the water flowed into their mouths.
Sanguine swam until he could stand up and trudged towards land as water trickled down through his eyeholes.
He dumped the twins and collapsed, gasping and coughing.
"What-" Dipper coughed. "What...what's wrong with them?" The bodies of the Vampires sank down and disappeared from sight.
"Vampires... can't swim in...salt water, kid.
I mean, Dipper." Sanguine tried to get his breathing under control.
Mabel spat out water and burped.
"Blargh! That was nasty...", she looked over at Sanguine.
"Thank you for saving us. And... I'm sorry that I hit you over the head with with a rock."
"Hey, don't sweat it, little lady. I would've done the same thing, erm... What'd you say your name was?"
"It's Mabel," she smiled.
"Guys... look at where we are." Dipper said in astonishment.
The trio stood.
"Wowy Zowy!" Mabel said.
Sanguine and Dipper just stared in silent awe.
The cavern was vast, the walls were a sky-blue with white crystals travelling down into the water.
High above a light shined brightly; like there was a second Sun.
The was a huge statue in the middle of a woman wearing a robe with a blindfold over her eyes.
"What is this place?" Dipper asked as Mabel inspected the crystals by licking one.
"Yep, just as I thought."
"What is it?"
"It's a salt crystal," she quickly spat and wiped her tongue on her sweater sleeve.
"Yer lucky that weren't poison, Mabel." Sanguine said as he rooted through his jacket. "Aw man..."
"What's wrong?" Mabel asked.
"I thought I had a spare pair of sunglasses."
"Hang on," Mabel pulled a pair of pink love heart sunglasses from her pocket and held them out to Sanguine. "These should do the trick."
He reluctantly took them and placed them over his eyes holes.
"Thanks," he said with a small smile.
Dipper noticed a series of tunnels.
He took out the Journal and flipped through the pages as he wandered over to an opening. "I wonder if Great Uncle Ford wrote anything about this place in the Journals?" He pondered out loud.
"What'cha got there, short stack?"
Before Dipper could hide it, Sanguine came over and took the Journal from him and started to flip through the pages.
"What is this? Some kind of freaky diary?"
"For your information," Dipper said as he snatched the Journal back. "This has the secrets of Gravity Falls."
"Oh, really?" Sanguine arched an eyebrow.
"Our Grunkle Ford made it." Mabel said as she joined them. She went to one of the tunnels and lobbed a small stone down it.
She listened for any signs of life, but there was nothing.
"I think we're alone down here," she said.
Sanguine took a step inside, one hand touching the wall.
"What's going on?", Dipper asked from behind.
"I'm trying to sense if there's anything further down. I can feel the vibrations of life through the floors and the walls," Sanguine dropped his hand. "But there's none. Nada. I say we mosey on through and see if we can find our way out."
"What about the Vampire?", Mabel asked and looked back the where the two dead vampires had sunk.
"Dusk? I have a feeling he's found what he came here for and left me behind," he said miserably.
"And what was he trying to find?", Dipper asked as he stood next to Mabel.
Sanguine smiled and took out a lighter.
"Now that would be telling," sparks flew and ignited, the reflection of the small flame flickering on the love heart sunglasses.
The trio slowly made their way down the length of the tunnel.
Dipper clutching the Journal to his chest, Mabel held Dipper's shoulder; afraid that she would get left behind in this long, dark and dank tunnel.
The only sounds to be heard where their footfalls, although Mabel's heart was pounding fiercely. She was sure the others would be able to hear it.
"So...", Sanguine said, breaking the silence, "how long have you two been stayin' here?"
"Er...", Dipper said, "a couple of weeks, I think. Why?"
"Just, you know, makin' conversation. Not used to all this quiet."
"Same.", muttered Mabel.
"You kiddie's havin' fun?"
"Yeah...", Dipper said hesitantly, not sure how much he should give away. "So far, it's been an experience."
"I got kidnapped by Gnomes on day one," Mabel said, absentmindedly.
"Gnomes?," Sanguine said, surprised. "Y'all got Gnomes here? No way!"
Sanguine's laughter echoed throughout the tunnel.
"Why is that funny?", Dipper asked, getting ready to run back the way they had come in case the laughter attracted something.
"Be-because," his laughter making it hard to speak, "a Gnome was one of the first things I killed!"
He laughed even harder, both Dipper and Mabel stayed quiet as the tone of the situation changed.
The conversation took a drastic turn as Sanguine went on about who, what, where, when and how he killed.
"Why?", Mabel asked. Her suddenly dry throat making her voice crack.
"Why?", Sanguine turned and beamed, "because I'm a Hitman deluxe, Little Lady! I kill for the right price. It's what I do best!"
The looks of pure fear on the kids faces made Sanguine stop smiling.
He turned back and cleared his throat.
"You two kiddies are safe, by the way. I haven't been paid to kill ya," he said, trying to reassure them.
"Didn't stop you from nearly slitting my sister's throat," Dipper muttered.
"Ok," Sanguine turned back, "I confess, that wasn't my proudest moment. But I was mad; I mean she did smash a rock over my head. A rock, Dipper."
"I know, I was there," Dipper said, an edge to his voice.
"Snarky little bastard, ain't ya?", Sanguine smiled, then caught himself when he realised what he said. "Uh, oops. Sorry. Didn't mean to curse."
"It's fine," Mabel laughed as Dipper scowled, "we've heard worse from our Grunkle Stan when he thinks we're not listening."
"C'mon, let's keep on movin'", Sanguine turned and continued through the tunnel, one hand on the wall, the other holding the lighter out front.
The conversation died quite quickly. Sanguine started humming a tune, Dipper recognised it immediately; Angel of the Morning by Juice Newton. He smiled as he had a memory of Grunkle Stan belting it out one morning as he made breakfast.
Every now and then, he'd hear Great Uncle Ford singing it under his breath too.
The tunnel opened onto a massive cavern; spots of light shined down from up above; illuminating the vastness of everything.
"Woah...", Dipper breathed.
There were houses built into the stone walls; it looked like a huge stone village.
"Looks like a whole civilisation used to live here," Mabel said as she stepped further in.
"So... where is everyone?", Dipper asked. He took in the surroundings; noticing some sort of rope mechanism that went from one wall to the other. Like that tram ride he went on at Mystery Mountain.
"Dunno," Sanguine muttered, he closed the lighter, extinguishing the flame and pocketing it.
Mabel held up her hands to her mouth. "Hellooooooo!", she hollered. "Is anybody theeeeeeerrrrreee?" Her voice echoed throughout the cavern.
"Sssh!! Mabel, be quiet!", Dipper whispered.
"What? There's obviously no one around; quit freaking out, Dipping Sauce."
Sanguine grinned. "Yeah, Dipping Sauce. Listen to your sister."
Dipper's face turned red and he pushed past them. "C'mon, let's just get out of here."
Mabel and Sanguine followed on behind; stifling their laughter.
There was a staircase of wood and stone that lead down to a lower level.
As the three descended; Dipper noticed a smaller version of the statue standing on a plinth, surrounded by mats that looked like they were made of rope and straw.
"What the heck is that?", Mabel asked quietly.
"Looks like some kind of prayin' alter." Sanguine muttered.
They all walked towards it, noticing the air had gotten colder on the lower level.
There was a golden plaque on the base of the plinth, Mabel knelt down to read it.
" I gazed into the face of the Faceless Gods and they blessed me with a vision of peace and unity," Mabel said. "Shela Karrigan, 1866."
"1866?", Dipper echoed. "That's only three years after Gravity Falls was founded!"
"And what did she mean by 'Faceless Gods'?"
"Wait a minute... Didn't Valkyrie mention something about the Faceless Ones? Could they be the same thing?", Dipper asked as he knelt down to examine the plaque.
Sanguine stayed quiet, silently looking for a way out.
As the twins were talking amongst themselves; Sanguine slowly walked over to another tunnel that was close by.
He put his hand to one wall, to feel for any vibrations.
He froze when he felt a slight tremor through his fingertips.
He nervously licked his lips as his eyeless gaze fell upon a hulking shadow, it's stood out against the darkness.
He could hear the sounds of grunting, snorting and snuffling.
Sanguine tried to concentrate, to see if he could  pick out any distinguishing features in the gloom.
For all he knew, this thing, this hulking mass hidden in shadow, could be a bear; sizing him up for dinner.
Or, it could be one of those weird cow-man-things he ran into (and killed) last week.
Girth had been his name.
Girth may have had the strength of twenty men, but in the end, a slashing razor across the throat will always win.
Sanguine took a step back and he winced as his heel crunched on gravel.
The thing in the shadows perked up; Sanguine could see by the silhouette that this creature had pointy ears, like a Doberman, or a Wolf.
A long, deep and low growl emitted from the tunnel; making the hair on the back of Sanguine's neck stand on end.
He looked back over his shoulder at the kids; they were still talking amongst themselves about the Statue.
Sanguine had two options: do the honourable thing, which was warn the kids, grab them and find another safe way out, or do the dishonourable thing, which was to keep his mouth shut, sneak away and let the kids be torn limb-from-limb by that creature.
He kept looking at the kids as he considered his options; Mabel may have tricked him and knocked him unconscious with a rock (he was kind of impressed that she had been able to do that), but she was a sweet little lady. She had put all her trust in him, after what he had tried to do. He couldn't let that thing turn her into a chew toy.
As for Dipper...
Sanguine froze, mid thought, as he felt hot air huff and puff on the back of his neck.
He slowly took his hand from the wall and took a gentle step forward, the creature also took a step.
"H-hey," he said quietly, as to not to startle them. "I think we should keep on movin', don't want to get stuck down here, now do we?"
Dipper turned, about to make a snarky comment, when his spotted what was behind Sanguine.
The blood went from his face, turning him pale, and his heart was thunderous in his chest.
The creature stood high above Sanguine at about 9ft.
It had the head of a black wolf; it's eyes were red, it's mouth was open, exposing its huge fangs that were dripping with saliva.
It may have had the head of a wolf, but it had the arms and torso of a very muscular man.
It's hands looked like huge Lion paws, each tipped with a menacingly sharp claw.
The bottom half was like a Goat, it's long, slender legs were covered in mangy tufts of black fur, and ended with jet-black cloven hooves.
Without taking his eyes off of it, Dipper reached a shaky hand over and gently tugged Mabel's sweater to get her attention.
"What?", she asked, oblivious to the murder-beast that stood before them.
"What ever you do: don't freak out," he hissed out the corner of his mouth.
"What?", she asked again, trying to judge by Dipper's face if she should freak out or not.
Dipper nodded his head, Mabel turned and she nearly let out a blood curling scream as the creature, this wolf-man-lion-goat-monstrosity reared it's head back and roared.
Sanguine shot forward and grabbed Dipper and Mabel, she let loose that blood curdling scream right in Sanguine's ear; he could forgive her for that. He'd do the same thing.
In fact, he did.
Dipper joined in with the screaming as the creature pounced.
Dipper and Mabel screwed their eyes tight, waiting for those fangs and those claws to tear them apart, as Sanguine-as quickly as he could-sank into the cold earth.
The stone closed over, sealing themselves inside as the creature landed above them.
Sanguine had made an air pocket, big enough for them to wait for their hearts to slow down.
Mabel began to gibber and hyperventilate.
Dipper opened the Journal and flipped through the pages over and over and over again, cursing whenever he got a paper cut.
"That-that thing," Mabel huffed. "I-it was going to get us, it was going to kill us!"
She pulled her sweater up over her head and began to sob; she had met some scary beings before: the Summerween Trickster, the Shapeshifter. But this thing... this was Nightmare fuel.
"Hey, c'mon," Sanguine said gently, even though he just wanted to curl up into a ball and weep. "Don't fret now, we're safe. All I have to do is just tunnel our way outta here and we're home free..."
"Wait a second," Dipper said suddenly. "Why didn't you do that when the Vampires were after us?!"
" Because," Sanguine said with a tight smile. "Tunnelin' requires me to concentrate, to think. And by my head was hurtin', I sure as hell couldn't think straight!"
"You tunnelled through a solid wall to get at my sister, man!", said Dipper as he stood up. "Seems like you were thinking straight then!"
"Listen here, Dip," Sanguine said, using his elbow to distance himself. "I wasn't thinkin' straight in the moment, and for that, I apologise. I am sorry that my sore head prevented me from tunnelin' us outta there!"
"How's this for a sore head?!" Dipper raised the Journal up high and quickly brought it down; smacking Sanguine in the head with a pleasant sounding thwack.
"OW!!", Sanguine hollered, clutching his head.
"Why'd you do that for, kid?!"
"I was hoping it would help you think straight so you can hurry up and get us back home!"
"Why you little-!"
"Will you guys stop it?!", Mabel yelled as she pulled her head out her sweater.
Her eyes were red and puffy, tears streamed down her rosy cheeks, and her nose was running.
Dipper and Sanguine stopped bickering, and stood there in a stunned, and guilty, silence.
"A monster almost mutilated us, and all you and do is bicker??"
Mabel pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.
"Mr Sanguine," she said and turned to him. "I am incredibly sorry that I hit you over the head with a rock. But, in my defence, you'd do the same thing if you were me."
Sanguine nodded. "Yep, you're right."
"And Dipper," she turned to her twin. "We all make mistakes in the moment, I know that you have..."
Dipper blushed, he knew what she was talking about.
"I'd like you both to apologise to each other," Mabel said, now she had calmed down.
The two guys turned to each other.
"Sorry, Sanguine...", muttered Dipper.
"Sorry, kiddo...", muttered Sanguine in return.
"Good enough. Now... Mr Sanguine-"
"Just 'Sanguine', if you please."
"-of course. Would you kindly tunnel us out of here and back to the Mystery Shack, please?"
Sanguine smiled, he opened his arms, "All aboard the Billy-Ray express."
The twins held Sanguine tightly, but before he could more, the earth above them cracked open.
The cave monster-Dipper had decided on the name-leered at them with a menacing smile.
"I was wondering when you'd finish", it growled.