what are we?

two.

my friend amber invited me to a party. i'm not the type of girl to really go to parties, but it's fine. i'll go just because i'm bored as shit.

i have 2,5 hours to get ready, not too bad.

i started searching through my closet for some type of clothing.

i found a top, it was this black off-the-shoulder long sleeve that fit perfectly against my body and wasn't too loose on any area. it had a cool rhinestone design.

i decided to wear a simple black skirt that sat at the middle of my thighs. but first i put on some simple black shorts underneath. they were biker shorts before i cut them shorter and just started using them under skirts. i slid the shorts on and then the skirt. i slightly adjusted it before standing up and grabbing the top i put at the end of my bed. i put my top on and looked in the shelf of my closet that had all of my belts, necklaces, rings and other accessories. i found a silver rhinestone belt and of course, layered it with my favorite studded belt. i wore this long silver rib cage necklace and added a black rosary necklace that was a bit shorter. i also put on some rings to make my hands look less boring.

i'm not much of a heel girl so before leaving i'll just put on my doc martens.

i always had simple stud earrings in my ear so i didn't replace them. they were a dark silver and what can i say, they match literally everything that i wear.

i sat down in front of my mirror and pulled out my makeup bag.

i hate my face. it's asymmetrical, my eyes look weird, my lips look deformed, my nose is something many people say they want, but to me it looks weird. my skin's full of these tiny bumps that no matter what i do, i can't get rid of. i look so bad. i don't think anyone at the party will like me. i'm sure i'll get judged.

but i agreed to come so i just started doing my makeup. foundation, concealer, contour, setting powder, blush, highlighter, black eyeliner with black eyeshadow on top of that, mascara and finally this gloss that looks black but actually just makes my lips look darker.

i fluff up my hair and just keep staring at myself in disgust. i'm so ugly.

i picked up my purse and put my wallet, my gloss, my keys and finally my phone.

i don't wanna go.
what if i embarrass myself?
what if i look awkward?
what if my makeup smudges and i walk around not noticing it is?
what if i get judged?

i walk to the bus stop. i still don't fucking know how to drive so i'm going by public transport.

the bus arrives. i take my bus ticket out and scan it. i just sit down at a random free spot.

and i see an old man eyeing me. he has a creepy smirk on his phase and he starts speaking in some foreign language. the only word that i can understand is "sexy". i get creeped out. but after him speaking about random shit which is probably him wanting to fuck me, i arrive to the bus stop i'm supposed to be at and sigh of relief. as i stand up i feel a big hand grab my waist. it's that man again. i slap his hand off me and run out of the bus. now my hand smells like a mix of shit, cigarettes, alcohol and sweat. disgusting.

the party is a block away, i'm glad that i don't have to walk a lot. it's cold as shit. i felt goosebumps on my legs and arms. it's fucking freezing.. why didn't i wear tights or a jacket??

i finally get to the party and greet amber.

"heyy!" i say to her.

"hey girll! you look amazingg" she answers.

"look at yourselff!" i tell her and she smiles at me as i walk away.

i bump into someone. and i literally BUMP. i slightly panic.