𝓢𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓟𝓸𝓮𝓶𝓼

𝓣𝓸 𝓝𝓸𝓽 𝓑𝓮 𝓐𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓮

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓻 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓻

Of one's nightmares becoming real

Is worse than one would imagine

Like a true Shakespearan love story,

Sick and tragic.

Imagine starting all over again

No friends, just my loneliness and I

It would be my doom and the death of my disguise

I swear to it all, I will crumple under ashes

Under boulders of a wreaking havoc and die

If I were it all to start again

My biggest nightmare, Being alone,

Parting towards the unknown, with no one with you

My scariest, most lucid and livid dream

To be so afraid, crying all over again

Just like when I was younger,

Panic attacks in the school bathroom

Tears staining my cheeks with no one ever knowing

No one ever seeing

Just like only so little ago

Self harming and self doubt and not being able

To expand my small circle and make a friend

Smiling through my pain and through my ache

For all those little days and long lasting hours I spent alone.

It has become my biggest nightmare to start all over again.

Helpless, hopeless towards and for the rest of the year.

I am not alone this time.

I have someone by my side in the start of this ride.

But what if they leave?

I'm not prepared to start again. Not this time.

God, I beg you, please.

I cannot be alone. It will be my death.

I pray and I beg, I offer it all just...

To not be alone.