NO ONE FOR ME BUT YOU

25) NOT MY PLACE TO SAY

Brooklyn

I was now left with my boyfriends family after he was rude and left. It's was almost 8pm and it was starting to get cold but the sky was still a little light with a slight breeze the music was still blaring the table littered with food and drinks.

"what's his deal." layla asks soothing her baby. "I don't fucking know but I'm getting sick and tired of him acting like lily doesn't exist she's nearly one and he hasn't acknowledged her held her or congratulated us for our first kid gosh I don't even think he knows her birthday." I look at them biting down on my lip.

Maybe if they didn't treat him like such an outcast he wouldn't see his niece as a stranger."cut him some slack." jayla pipes up as she plants herself in Theodore seat next to me.

"do you not think your guys' indecisive decision hasnt taken a toll on theo. God you ship him off across the seas to live with his father with no contact from his mother thinking that he was unwanted and unloved by the woman that birthed him then all of a sudden she comes back after 14 years and takes him from his home from his family to live with an already perfect family and forced to call complete strangers his brothers and feel nothing but like a burden and an outcast. He was miserable fucking miserable in America why did you think he spent all his celebrations in London and now that one of you guys have a baby you expect him to be close to it when he's not close with you. feel related to it when he doesn't feel related to any of you when all he feels like is an outcast and a mistake between to sad fuck buddies."

"right I've had enough of you people judging me and the decision I've made but you don't know what its like in my shoes-" his mother speaks up but I quickly shut her down feeling the urge of anger rise in me. "and you don't know what it's like in theos shoes either but you didn't take that into account when you decided what you did."

Jayla looks at me with a smile almost as though I gained her approval. "exactly... And im sorry for your loss and what you went through but theo has gone through some shit aswell and finally after 5 years he found someone good in America. Someone who was willing to give the broody closed off bastard a chance and decide to actually try with him instead of leaving him in the corner like everyone else In this damn state did. And you all decide to act the way you did today like she was also unwelcomed. You ignored her. Didn't  try to get to know her...the one person who could actually make your son happy and you treat her like lesser. I could just tell that theo was worried about bringing her here."

"he was... He met my mother over 8 months ago I had to beg him to let me meet his family." i say quietly I felt like it wasn't my place to say anything but I wanted to help jayla because God she was saying everything I wanted to say to his mother the minute I walked in here but I didn't want to make a bad impression.

"exactly and you treat her like shit none of you give her a proper welcome except for Jessica when theo was Introducing her and I get it, it was a bit of a shock to me and laikon too but even after we went to them we spoke to her tried to get to know her a little bit gosh even Zane tried. But you rayda you sat in the corner with a long face with your husband and your 'wanted' family and acted like she wasn't even here. Your clearly mad that she's been in his life for less than 2 years and can make him happier then you have in 5 that he listens to her and cares for her and takes her inside his forbidden car that no one he doesn't trust can go in and that includes you and your little family and now you sit here wondering why he got so mad and stormed out after you blatantly ignored his girlfriend all night on his birthday."

The silence was loud really fucking loud. "oh and on top of that you begged him to stay in America for his birthday which he's never done and you make it the worst day of his life. You throw him an unwanted party when everyone that loves theo knows that he doesn't do party's that he doesn't have a long enough social battery for a party and you fill it full of people that treat him like an outcast and thought to make it better and to make him happy you'd throw me laikon and Zane into the mix and when you realised he was a miserable regardless you gave up and then Brooke came and it was almost like you were mad that she was able to make him happy without even trying."

Im quite clueless sometimes so I didn't even see it that way but now that she phrased it that way it all made sense."what so I'm a bad mother I try so hard with that boy I really do and it upsets me the way you make me feel like some sort of villain. From the moment he came off that plane 5 years ago he never cracked a smile no matter how hard I tried with him and he wouldn't take that hoodie, that he still wears, off and he didn't care that it was nearly 5 sizes to big for him and came down to his knees he came already broken and all I try to do is fix him."

Zane smashes his hand into the table making me jump a bit. "don't you dare say that he came to your broken he went through something so devastating and all I wanted to do was help him comfort him get him help but you were so selfish all you thought about was yourself I told you it wasn't the right time to send him away that it would have been better if you wait 2 more years but no you didn't listen and and now you complaining that he's broken what did you fucking expect."

"hes not broken" I finally snap and they all look at me like I'm crazy. "all of you make him sound like a weak man. Like a broken object that has too many shattered shards to pick up and glue back together. You can argue that I've only known him for a year and a half but for fuck sakes I know from just that that he's not broken. Yes he hides his emotions. Yes he keeps his barriers up. Yes he doesn't trust anyone and yeah he's doesn't fucking like socialising but that doesn't make him broken it makes him lonely and isolated and if you just nudged him a little more and tried he will crack. You guys just try and give up on the first try but if you keep on trying no matter how much he pushes you away and how much you annoy him it will work and he will slowly... Very slowly let you in. That's how we're together that's how I make him laugh and smile and talk. I'm not a fucking miracle worker I'm not his lord and saviour I'm just a girl who doesn't give up thats all he ever needed... Someone who never gave up... And if he doesn't show his real self around you it means that some point in his life you gave up on him."

I take a deep breath."so please stop making me Seem like a miracle worker because I'm not  and stop making him seem weak and broken. Because he isn't." my eyes are watered over and I swat them away. I look over to see theo and laikon entering the backyard again I could tell he was stoned but he was waling a bit funny so I didn't know if he took anything else which kind of worried me.

"I think it's time for me to go home now." I give jayla a side hug before going round and giving Zane one aswell. By the time I walked back round theo had reached the table.
"babe I'm so sorry but I have to go home." his face drops as he wraps his arms around my waist barely stable and I wrap my arms around his neck.

"what? But it's not even that late and what about our plans? You haven't even eaten or stayed for cake." I give him a kiss. Pulling away and sniffling. "i know baby and I'm so sorry but I have to go. Come round after work tomorrow ill bake you your favourite cake and we can do everything we planned and you can have your presents I brought you I know it's not Ideal and I know it's not on your birthday but I hope that's OK."

He nods. "it sounds like exactly what I originally wanted to do." i smiles at him tussling his hair. "good so your OK with it." he smiles and nod. "only if you get your mom to make me her gigantic cinnamon roll I've been craving it." i laugh. "of course love she's even brought you a present so expect to be spoilt tomorrow but don't worry she'll be gone by 3." i wink at him and he laughs. "ok I guess that makes up for it." he travels his hand up and down my back skimming the bottom of my ass.

I kiss him again this time a little longer. His hands travels up and squeezes my breasts and I squeal laughing and pulling away. "you are so drunk you need to go to bed." and stoned i giggle as he kisses on my ear. "I will but you need to go before I don't let you leave." he hesitantly takes his hands off me stumbling a little.

I suck my now wet bottom lip. "make sure he actually goes to bed for me please." i ask jayla and she nods. Grabbing my bag I start to walk away. "bye it was nice meeting you guys." i wave before leaving the hectic place hoping not to ever come back.