Finding You | A Bakudeku Fanfic | ‼️DISCONTINUED‼️

𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗

"Sonny? Sonny, wake up." A familiar voice says. It's Recovery Girl.

I reach up to rub my eyes open. They're wet. Was I crying? I think, rubbing my eyes harder, determined to make them dry again. No, I couldn't have been crying. I never cry.

"It looks like you're all better, dear! And just in time for lunch, too!" The old lady pats my head and sticks out her hand. There are four gummy bears on it. "Here, have some sugar before you eat!"

I take the gummies, pop them into my mouth, mutter a thanks, and walk out of the room before she can say anything else.

I don't want to eat lunch. I don't feel like eating after what happened with Kirishima. I know I have to apologize to him, but I really, really don't want to.

So I don't.

I walk past the cafeteria towards my math class. If I'm going to skip lunch, I could at least be early for my next class.

On the way to math I pass the library. Shit! I think, stopping and turning around, running back to the cafeteria. I forgot to ask Deku to the dance!

I dash into the cafeteria. It's loud and crowded, like usual. I look around, trying to spot his messy green hair. I don't see it.

I walk around, checking people's faces as I pass. Where is that damn nerd!? I think, starting to get angry. Then I spot Iida, Uraraka, and Todoroki sitting at a table. They'll know where Deku is.

"Hey," I say, approaching the table and sitting down next to four-eyes.

"Uh, hi, Bakugo?" Round-cheeks says nervously, accidentally making the greeting sound like a question. Four-eyes looks confused too. Half and Half keeps eating his soba.

"What can we do for you, Bakugo?" Iida asks, giving me a suspicious look.

"Where's Deku?" I ask, looking him straight in the eyes and then doing the same to Round-cheeks. They look at each other and then look at me. "He never came to school." They both say at the same time. Without saying anything, I get up and run out of the cafeteria.

He was here this morning, I think, running outside the school building. That nerd never skips school. There's something wrong. I know it.

•~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~•

•two months later•

•~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~•

"Katsuki! Please, stop!" My hag of a mother screams, running into my room and ripping the knife out of my hands. She's crying. She never cries.

My lower arms are covered in cuts, some closed and some bleeding.

I'm a fucking mess.

Everything is a fucking mess.

My life. School. Everything.

Ever since...

No. I'm not going to think about it.

"Katsuki!" My mom yells again, tears rolling down her cheeks, her hands gripping my upper arms.

I can feel wetness on my cheeks as well.

"M-mom..." I say, my voice quaking. "I m-miss him. S-so, so much."

The tears start coming faster for both of us, and she wraps me in a hug as we sit on my bed, crying together. She pulls out of the embrace and takes my hands in hers, looking me in the eyes.

"I know this is hard for you. But please, Kat, self-harm won't bring him back."

I look at my arms. I don't know how to stop myself from doing it. It just happens. All this hatred, sadness, regret, it's all my fault. I'm the only one to blame. So I guess I punish myself.