Control Me

7

I waited for him.

Watching the leaves change colors, the land dying, snow falling before the grass turned green and the flowers began to bloom all over again.

Our only form of communication was through the ring and with each passing month it slowly began to lessen. To the point I could only hope to feel the small metal on my finger give me any indication that he was alive.

I missed him, craved his presence and even his touch. The softest brushes of his cool fingers along my warm skin during the blistering summers. His gentle laughs and calming smiles. Even his cologne that always lingered on my clothes and the reassurance he carried wherever he went. He was my rock, my safe space, my person and now he is gone.

A little over nine months has passed, several weeks since I felt my ring pulse against my finger. Somewhere between missing my best friend, mourning his closeness and trying to find myself I realized shortly after that he isn't coming home.

I was right.

A year would pass and I'd hurt. Another six months would come and go and I'd realize that I can't spend my life waiting on a ghost. I have to continue to live, even if it isn't with him. I have no choice, I'm starting to fall apart and I don't like that feeling.

Hopelessness, anger, confusion and loss.

Forcing myself to keep it together doesn't work all that much but to everyone else I am moving forward. They'd see me graduate with perfect grades and a multitude of friends I found along the way. My family would watch as I pursued my dreams of becoming a wedding dress designer.

Ironic choice in career but I love love and there's no taking that away from me.

I'd become Iris's apprentice, a well known dress maker in Unity, and use work to distract me from the earth shattering heartbreak I silently endure.

I think about him day in and day out, trying to come to grips with the fact that either Akeno is never coming back by choice or there's a chance he's dead.

I don't want to think the worst but I can't seem to get my mind off of the negatives when his immediate family hasn't even been in contact with him. They're far more worried than I am, Ilaria is heartbroken. Eden and Elliot don't know how to cope with not having their big brother around. He is a triplet after all, and it's always been the three of them since forever.

Juko isn't a man of many words but whenever his son is brought up he looks despondent while he comes up with an excuse.

When the second year comes, Iris decides that I've done all I can with my passion. I haven't maxed out on my potential but it is time for me to learn and grow on my own. She tells me that she is proud of me and what I have accomplished. She sends me off with a couple of clients I have acquired at my time in her shop with hopes that I'll exceed her one day.

Mom and dad are also proud of me and they make sure to let me know nearly every second of every hour. They've almost been doing it too much, to the point I'd even say they're being overbearing. I know they're being this way because I finally told them how I felt, about me, Meadow and my relationship with them. It took a while but I finally gathered the guts to tell them the truth.

The moment they took everything I said into account they apologized immediately. Telling me how sorry they were and that they would try to do better. Since then they've been far more attentive, trying to work around Meadows mental health in order to give us the same amount of support.

I appreciate it and it makes me feel so much better about how things have been. Still, with everything else going on I keep my head held high and focus on my career. In return my clientele grows which means I am able to use the money I've made by myself to move out.