𝐸𝑢𝑝ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑎－ 𝐴.𝐻

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 50－ 𝐶𝑜𝑢𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑠 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑦

𝑆𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑛𝑎

"So Sienna. How long has it been?"
"It's been about a year. I think I have been progressing a bit. But I still have struggles.''
"Have you thought about my suggestion?"
"I have and I agree. I wanna start couples therapy with my husband.''
"That is progress. How about you two come in tomorrow around 12?"
"That's good. Thank you Dr. Wilkers"

I have been attending therapy for about 6 months. But I never realized Aaron and I would be going together eventually. But we have some issues we need to work through. Like how I used to love when he touched me but now I can't stand it without crying. Jack did a number on me and I hate it. He ruined me for my own husband. I thought I overcame my fears but once Avianna was born it's like they resurfaced and got worse. I just don't understand it. Dr. Wilkers told me sometimes when men rape women they only do it because they are weak and petty little men. But to this day I don't understand what Jack supposedly feels that way. He has everything a man would want. A good job, nice house. Why would he do that to me? He got sentenced to life and I have been thinking about visiting him because I have questions that I desperately need answers to. Like why me?

"Baby?" Aaron said
"Hm? I'm sorry I'm just a bit out of it.'' I smiled
"It's alright. You ok?" He asked as he turned the corner
"Just tired." I said
"So couples therapy tomorrow?" He asked
"Yep at 12.'' I responded
"Great. Are you hungry?" He asked
"Famished.'' I smiled

Pulling into the driveway I immediately slipped out of the car and opened the back door. I unbuckled the seatbelt and grabbed Avi out of her carrier and held her as she was fast asleep. Aaron grabbed her diaper bag and closed and locked the car doors. As he opened the front door I made my way upstairs and settled her into her crib. I walked back downstairs to see Aaron ordering Chinese. I started cleaning up the living room and folding up the blankets that were previously thrown around the room.

"Baby?" Aaron said
"Hm." I said setting the blankets in the bin
"You sure you're ok. You seem a bit out of it." He pondered
"Yeah I'm ok. I just have a small headache." I smiled

I heard his footsteps trotting towards me. I felt his arms wrap around me and he settled his head on my shoulder

"I can help with that headache." He said as I felt his smirk
"God Aaron not everything is about sex." I said annoyed
"I meant a massage." He said raising his eyebrows
"Oh. I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap, I'm just. Sorry." I said
"Maybe this couples therapy will help. Because we don't need sex to rely on this marriage but I want you to feel comfortable around me and it feels as if I scare you." He said

I walked away sighing to myself wondering if this therapy would really be worth it.

NEXT DAY

When I woke up Avi was crying and Aaron was in the shower. As I made my way to her room she was screaming, crying , moving her arms. I grabbed her out of the crib and started feeding her. Checking the clock I saw that it was 10:55.

"Jesus. I can't believe mommy slept this long." I whispered to her

She was too occupied with gripping my boobs though. I smiled as she looked at me as she was sucking me dry.

"Calm down, it isn't going anywhere." I laughed

Her eyes started closing slowly before her grip loosened and she fell asleep. I slowly stood up as I rocked her back and forth before placing her back in her crib. I closed the door and walked back into our bedroom. Once I walked in Aaron was coming out of the bathroom. His towel was wrapped around his waist loosely as water dripped down his body.

"Fuck.'' I whispered
"Good morning baby.'' He smiled
"Hi.'' I whispered
"You ok?" He asked
"Peachy.'' I said as my face was flushed
"You look hot.'' He said walking towards me
"I'm ok.'' I said walking backwards

As he walked closer his towel started to slip before it hit the floor.

"My fault.'' He smirked
"Holy shit.'' I muttered
"What was that?" He asked
"Nothing.'' I said

I grabbed his towel and threw it at him before leaving the room. I hope this session goes well because I cannot stand another minute of this torture he is putting me through.

It was currently 11:20 so I started to get Avi changed into something loose and comfortable. Once she was changed I laid her into her crib until it was time for us to leave. When I walked back into our bedroom Aaron had on a green polo shirt with some slacks. I grabbed a pair of leggings and an oversized hoodie with my Dior shoes. I went to grab Avi as I settled her into her car seat in the car. Our appointment was at 12 and we were about 15 mins away from the office. So when we arrived at 11:50 because of traffic we were kinda rushing. I grabbed Avi out of her car seat and set her into the stroller. Aaron grabbed my hand as he pushed her towards the entrance.

By the time we got into the office and filled out any leftover paperwork for couples therapy it was 12 on the dot. We sat in the lobby for about 10 minutes as we waited for Dr. Wilkers

"Hotchner's" She yelled
Aaron and I stood up and walked into the room taking a seat on the couch.

"Alright. Shall we get started?" She asked
"Yes.'' I smiled
"Alright Sienna, why don't we start with you. Why don't you explain to Aaron your concerns we talked about last session?" She said

I turned towards Aaron and took a deep breath before I burst.

"I'm scared whenever you touch me. I know you would never hurt me but my mind goes to what Jack did to me and I get terrified. I want you to know I am not scared of you. I love you so very much but I don't know how to tell you. I want to have sex with you Aaron so bad but I am scared.'' I explained
"I appreciate you telling me about this baby. I understand your fright and I promise you I won't you. The thought of remembering what Jack did to you makes me sick to my stomach. The thought of me even making you cry or you crying about something else makes me sick to my stomach. I don't like seeing you hurt at all. I would never try to intentionally hurt you at all, my love. I love you too much to even try." He said
"That's good Aaron. You listened to Sienna's concerns and you reassured her. Sienna, anything you wanna say?" Dr Wilkers asked
"I love you and thank you for listening." I smiled

Aaron grabbed my waist and pulled me into a hug. I cried into his arms as he just kissed my head.

"Shhh it's ok baby I am not going anywhere." He whispered

From that one sentence I knew that no matter what I went through Aaron Hotchner would be there for me every fucking step of the way, and that's why I married him.