To Replace a Dragon with a Phoenix [BBANGSAZ AU]

Chapter 1.) A Dilemma

The night was dark and silent, except for the occasional cries of pain from the royal bedchamber. Emperor Kim paced anxiously outside, waiting for the news of his child's birth. He had been married for over a decade, but none of his consorts had given him a son.

He had prayed fervently to the heavens for a son, a heir, a successor to his throne. He had lost count of how many times he had tried, how many consorts he had impregnated, how many babies he had buried. He had almost given up hope, until his favorite consort, Lady Hyeon, announced her pregnancy. He had been overjoyed when she announced her pregnancy, and he had showered her with gifts and attention. She was the only one who had carried his child past the first trimester, the only one who had given him a glimmer of hope. He had also ordered the palace to prepare for the birth of the crown prince, sparing no expense. He had commissioned a golden cradle, embroidered robes, jade ornaments, and a dragon-shaped seal.

He was confident that this time, his wish would come true. He had seen the signs: a shooting star, a white deer, a fragrant breeze. He had felt a connection with his unborn child, a bond that transcended words. He had dreamed of holding his son in his arms, of teaching him the ways of a ruler, of passing on his legacy.

He was so close to his dream, that he could almost touch it.

He clenched his fists, feeling a surge of anger and frustration. Why was the birth taking so long? Why was his child so stubborn? Why was fate so cruel to him? He was the emperor, the son of heaven, the ruler of the land. He deserved a son, a dragon. He would not accept anything less.

He heard a loud scream from inside the chamber, followed by a sudden silence. He held his breath, feeling his heart pound in his chest. He looked at the door, expecting it to open any moment. He waited and waited, and waited.

Finally, the door opened, and a midwife came out, holding a bundle of cloth in her arms. She bowed low to the emperor, and said in a trembling voice, "Your Majesty, congratulations. You have a healthy child."

The emperor felt a surge of joy and relief. He rushed forward, eager to see his child, his son. He reached out his hands, and the midwife handed him the bundle. He unwrapped it carefully, and looked at the face of his child.

He felt his joy and relief turn into shock and horror. He stared at the child, unable to believe his eyes. He saw a round face, a small nose, a tiny mouth, and a pair of almond-shaped eyes. He saw a tuft of black hair, a smooth forehead, and a delicate chin. He saw a child, a healthy child, a beautiful child.He looked at the child's body and saw the unmistakable sign of her gender.

A girl.

He first felt a wave of anger and disappointment wash over him. He felt like throwing the child away, like cursing the heavens, like killing himself. He had a child, a healthy child, a beautiful child.

A girl.

Then he felt a twinge of regret and sorrow. He wished that the child was a boy, that he could hold her proudly and joyfully, that he could announce her birth to the world and celebrate her arrival. He wished that things were different, that fate was kinder, that he had been given what he wanted.

But he knew that wishing was useless, that reality was harsh, that he had to face the facts. He knew that he had to make a choice, a choice that would change everything. He knew that he had to act quickly, before anyone else found out. He knew that he had to take a risk, a risk that could save or ruin him.

He looked at the midwife, who was trembling with fear. He looked at the chamber, where Lady Hyeon lay exhausted on the bed. He looked at the child, who was sleeping peacefully in his arms. He felt a conflict of emotions in his heart. He felt love, and hate, and pity, and shame. He felt a dilemma in his mind. He had a choice to make, a decision to take, a fate to seal.

He could accept the child, and raise her as his daughter. He could love her, and cherish her, and protect her. He could give her a name, a title, a place in his family. He could hope for another son, another chance, another miracle.But that would be impossible, the odds were against him. His vitality was already draining day by day. He was after all in his late forties. And plus a female in this society? That would be no good, she would be a pawn meant to be used, married off and chained to a life at home and would never experience freedom despite her royalty.

Or he could reject the child, and hide her from the world. He could lie, and deceive, and pretend. He could give her a name, a title, a place in his family. He could raise her as his son, his heir, his successor.

Or...

He could replace a dragon with a phoenix. Hmmmm...

He made up his mind. He wrapped the child again and held her close to his chest. He looked at the midwife and said, "Listen carefully. This child is a boy. His name is Minjae. He is my son and heir. You will tell no one the truth. You will swear to keep this secret with your life. Do you understand?"

The midwife was stunned and scared. She did not know what to say or do. She did not know why the Emperor had made such a decision, or what the consequences would be. She did not know if She could trust or obey the Emperor, or if She should betray or defy him. She did not know if she should agree or refuse.

She looked at the Emperor and saw the determination and authority in his eyes. He felt the pressure and fear in his heart. He nodded and said, "Yes, Your Majesty. I understand."

Emperor Kim smiled and said, "Good. You are loyal and faithful. You will be rewarded for your service. Now, go and spread the news. Tell everyone that I have a son, that the dynasty has an heir, that the empire has a future. Go and make me proud."

The midwife bowed and left. Emperor Kim looked at the child and said, "Minjae, my son. You are the hope and glory of my life. You are the pride and joy of my dynasty. You are the strength and security of my empire. You are everything to me. But you are also a secret and a lie. You are also a burden and a danger. You are also a gamble and a challenge. You are everything and nothing. You are my son and my daughter. You are both Kim Minjae and Kim Minji. You are who you are and who you are not. You are both a miracle and a mistake. You are a blessing and a curse. You are the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me. I love you but I hate you. I want you but I fear you. I will protect you and I will use you to my advantage. I will cherish you but I will sacrifice you. I will do whatever it takes to keep you and to keep you hidden. I will do whatever it takes to make you and to keep you mine. I will do whatever it takes to save you and to save myself. I will do whatever it takes to make this work. I will do whatever it takes to make you a boy."