My World In Hers

yeah

Yep the conscience is a heavy bitch.

I packed the clothes for my brother and mother just so I could check up on them and bring them toiletries and stuff.

But my mind had successfully sentenced me to jail and found me guilty of everything.

The accident, my parent's divorce and my fucked up relationship with my mother.

I decided to call Natasha since today was a Saturday and find out if she was free.

"Hey bae." She said sounding tired.

"Hey what's happening you sound tired?" I asked not wanting to bother her if she was.

"We were just having our dance lessons and I can't seem to get one move right. What's going on?"

"Well I was .... Actually I need a ride "

"Yeah sure babe I'll pull up in my car." She said laughing.

"Thanks babe I'll be waiting." I hung up and threw the phone on the couch.

The house was quiet today and it always was but it just felt different.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I'm outside.

The text from Natasha hit my phone.

I ran outside and threw the bag in the backseat and kissed her.

"How you doing?" She said smiling as I pulled away from kissing her.

"I'm amazing actually never been better." A lie

We drove to the hospital and sang very badly might I add to Rihanna's diamonds.

"I brought some ice cream just in case you wanna hang" she said as we parked outside the hospital noticing that I wasn't making any move on leaving anytime soon.

"Yeah I'm down." I said and that's when she grabbed my hands.

"What's going on? I can feel there's something bothering you."

"I just missed you that's all." I said kissing her trying to erase the thoughts off her mind.

She smiled.

I realized I was unintentionally hiding these things from her because I thought that was my shit to deal with so I shouldn't bother her. After all it was my job to make her happy and make sure that everytime she saw me I was okay, she deserved that much.

"So should I eat you or the ice cream first" I joked and wanted to see her reaction.

"Uhh.." she stuttered looking flushed as she blushed and she looked so cute.

"Okay I'll go with the ice cream first." I said laughing as she pouted and blushed rolling her eyes.

We ate the ice cream and she ended up accompanying me to my mother's ward.

We were now standing outside the door and my heart was beating out of my chest.

"Maybe I should come back later." I said turning to leave but she held my hand.

"If you keep postponing seeing her when are you going to see her because you'll just keep postponing?" She asked and I kept quiet.

I really didn't know what to say because I knew I probably wasn't going to come back anyways.

"Can we go and see Jerah first?" I said already going there because somehow seeing my mother felt difficult and alot more painful than seeing Jerah.

Jerah was my bro and we had been through hell and back together although I feel like I stayed there but still.

I opened the doors and Natasha stood at the door because she said she wanted to give us some space.

I sat down next to his bed and the sight tore me apart. I wanted to be the one lying there and bearing the pain, he didn't deserve this and he still had so much to do and I didn't care if I lived or died.

His face was swollen and he had a cast over  both his legs. His eye was swollen and shut and he had a bandage over his head.

He looked horrible and it felt like it was my fault for some reason.

"Hey bro." I said already choking on tears.

Silence..

"I'm sorry, I didn't know any of this was going to happen and maybe if I did I would have done something maybe switched places with you guys. I'm really sorry." I said looking at him.

"You're gonna end up apologising for why the Earth is round." He chuckled and I laughed happy he was awake and still had his horrible sense of humor.

"Now I even forgot why I missed you" I said and his eyes lit up as he smirked.

"So you missed me eh? " He asked and I kept quiet. " Don't worry I'll be fine it's just a few bruises." He said.

"Dude stop lying I can see it's not a few bruises. " I said knowing he didn't have to be strong for me.

"I'm okay." He said lowly as if he was trying to convince himself.

"What happened man?"

"Well mom was driving on the highway and the car tires started screeching because it was raining so I guess they slipped? And when she tried to put the brakes on they didn't work so that's all I remember. Is she okay?"  He asked looking concerned.

"I don't know I didn't go to check on her." I admitted truthfully.

"Why?"

"I'm scared." He looked at me and the tears were clouding my vision.

"Do you wanna.."

"No I'm fine I don't want to talk about it." I said blinking the tears away because it would be selfish of me to talk about myself when he seriously had more important issues to worry about.

"Okay if you say so and if you ever want to talk about it I'm right here. Now next time when you come back bring me something delicious I'm tired of this hospital food, feels like eating rubber and I'm hungry most of the time." He said frowning and I laughed.

"Okay I gotta go now man but I brought you some toiletries and new clothes I'll be back tomorrow." I said standing up .

"Great and bring the crew with you I have something I wanna say." He said sounding sad and I immediately knew it was about his injury.

"Okay bro bye."

"Bye you cockroach." He said as I laughed and got out.

I found Natasha standing outside.

"By the look of that smile on your face I'm guessing it went well?" She asked smiling as I held her waist and walked towards the elevator.

"Yeah it went great actually I just can't help but feel like he's hiding something." I said thoughtfully forgetting that Natasha was our rival so she might use this information against us, but I trusted her and she wouldn't do that.

"Maybe he's finding it hard to come to terms with his legs being  injured." She said holding my hand as we walked out.

"Maybe." I said as she drove me home.

I didn't have a problem with my car being with Natasha since I never really liked going out that much and I get to annoy Trevor by asking him to fetch me every now and then especially since we had practice today but it got cancelled because we needed to talk to Jerah first since he was the leader and Vegas was in a week actually next week Saturday so we needed our act together.