Emotionless |seongjoong|

*11*

Seonghwa:

I had no idea what had happened to Hongjoong during the reunion. But I knew it was nothing good. He was a complete mess when I found him. As soon as he calmed down, he collapsed. I carried him to his bedroom, putting him in his bed. Then I got a towel and some water. I cleaned Hongjoong's body and wounds, changed his clothes and nursed him. I couldn't believe what those people had done to my boyfriend. They deserved death for hurting him once again. They had brought him to such a state. But for now, the only thing I could do was to stay by his side. I needed to stay by his side. Be there when he woke up and make sure he wasn't alone. I slipped under the blanket, cuddling Hongjoong.

...

In the morning, I was awakened by some movement by my side. Hongjoong was awake. His slim body had curled up on my side. He kept silent, staring into the void. I turned his way to hug him better, gently stroking his hair. Joongie looked at me. His face was all swollen. He hugged me tighter.

"When did you..." I tried to ask.

"An hour ago," Hongjoong cut me off.

I nodded. Joong moved around, climbing up on top of me. He was like a black cat, coming for cuddles. If I didn't know the reason why he was like that, I could be happy. But I knew. He was traumatized. And he needed me.

"What happened last night?" I asked him, placing a kiss on his forehead.

At first, Hongjoong kept quiet. He stood there, paralysed on top of me. He couldn't even look me in the eyes. I had to show him that he was safe now and could share with me. It took me some time, but he let out a sigh and looked me in the eyes.

"At the beginning it was alright. We were eating, and drinking, and they talked about a bunch of random things. Soon they got drunk, and one of them got up to speak. He mocked me. All of them laughed, and then he started a fight with me. Some joined on both sides. I managed to get out of there. But the sound of their laughter haunted me," Hongjoong told me. "The terrorizing sound of my dreams."

"your dreams? You mean your nightmares?" I asked, tightening my hug around him.

"Yes. In my nightmares, all of them are faceless, and the only thing I can hear is their laughter." Joong spoke in a calm voice. It was as if he spoke about something normal. It made me worried. For how long did he suffer? Was it long enough to make it just something 'normal' for him? Poor Hongjoong.

"Do you know what caused those nightmares?" I asked him. I needed to know more so I could help him.

"Because they did it in reality. I was bullied... ever since we lived in Japan. It all started about ten or so years ago," Joong answered me, his voice remaining calm. It was worrying me even more.

I looked at him, unable to believe what he had just said. More than ten years ago? That meant he was only a child when it all started. How could it be? Were children that cruel? What did they do to him? It had to be something monstrous to cause that much damage. I knew about his self-harm and attempts of su!c!de, but Joong had never told me what had happened. Did they beat him up? Did they speak badly of him? Did they isolate him? They most likely did a lot more than that. But what was the reason behind their actions? There was no way for me to know what was on their minds back then.

As I was about to ask him more questions, Hongjoong shut me off. I felt his lips on mine, hands playing with my hair. He was sloppy in his actions but managed to turn things heated. Joong was desperately trying to shut me up. He did it successfully. But pushing the problem aside couldn't solve it. I had to gently push him away, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Joongie-ah, as much as I enjoy your affection, ignoring the problem won't help you," I told him. "I'm here for you. We can overcome it together. But, you need to let me help you," I continued. The look in his eyes got grim. I could see tears forming in his eyes.

"I can't... I can't! If you face it... if you do, you won't be able to look at me the same way you do now. Just like they did, you'll hate me," Hongjoong's voice was trembling.

"I won't! Because I love you more than anything. My love is strong enough for both of us!"

To the sound of that, tears fell down his face. Hongjoong was crying as we hugged. I could feel his hot tears on my skin, soaking in my clothes. At that moment, Hongjoong was a sobbing mess. And I was there to comfort and support him. I was there for him, ready to face it all. It didn't matter how long it would take. I wanted to be there for him and do everything to help him recover. I wanted to be there and see him recover and bloom once again. I wanted him to feel the wonderful emotions of being alive. Experience all the emotions of life - the joy, the love, the hope, the embarrassment, the bravery. It's a bittersweet journey, but one that's worth taking. Everything! And I was ready to fight for that. Fight for his right to live a fulfilled life.

...

We spend our time speaking about his past. I was listening to what he said very carefully. As Hongjoong spoke, I was comforting him and gave him my unconditional support. I was so proud of him. He was so brave. But his words left me bittersweet and angry deep inside.

Listening to his story, I couldn't help but feel bittersweet. On one hand, I was proud of Hongjoong for being so brave and opening up to me about his past. On the other hand, I was angry and saddened by the fact that he had to go through such traumatic experiences at such a young age. It wasn't fair, that he had to suffer in silence for so long. But I was determined to be there for him and help him heal from his past wounds. Together, we would overcome this and create a brighter future.

"Babe, do you want to take revenge on them?" I asked him.

"What's the point? I can leave their careers crumbling, but it won't help me get better, will it?" He responded, his eyes were teared.

Joongie had a point. Even if I was furious at the moment, it wouldn't help my baby. It depended on me to help him revive his emotions. No matter how hard it could be. I promise you, Hongjoong-ah, I'll fight for your happiness!

A/n: I'm sorry for taking so long to upload a new chapter. There were a lot of things going on in my life and work. I know that isn't an excuse for neglecting my duty as an author, yet, I wish for your forgiveness. And I'm not sure when I'm going to upload the next chapter. Please, be patient with me...