xii. dancer

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I tilted my head back, savoring the gentle caress of the brush gliding over my cheek, leaving behind a delicate, rosy hue

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I tilted my head back, savoring the gentle caress of the brush gliding over my cheek, leaving behind a delicate, rosy hue. With closed eyes, I reveled in the sensation, enjoying the soft brush against my skin.

Ryan's hand cradled my face tenderly, keeping me in the present moment. A soft sigh escaped my lips, tinged with a hint of nervousness. This modeling gig I was getting ready for right now wasn't just another shoot; it was an advertisement for a skincare company, and I was expected to speak on camera.

The mere thought sent a huge wave of doubt coursing through me.

"You okay?" Ryan's calm voice pierced through the stillness of the makeup room, causing me to offer a faint nod as her skilled hands continued their meticulous work of art on my face .

She chuckled softly, and when I finally got the courage to open my eyes, I found her gazing at me with a knowing expression.

"You're nervous- very nervous," she observed, setting the brush aside and leaning back against the white counter, which was scattered with products, arms crossed.

My gaze drifted to the mirror, looking at the finished makeup look that adorned my features. A subtle tension gripped my shoulders as I struggled to work through my thoughts.

How ridiculous it seemed to be anxious about speaking in front of a camera. I felt so embarrassed of myself for having this silly insecurity.

"I'm not nervous," I interjected, meeting her gaze through the mirror's reflection.

Ryan's knowing expression swept over me, her eyes filled with understanding.

"Yeah, right," she responded, her tone gentle yet perceptive, as if she could peer straight through me.

Shifting uncomfortably in my seat, I found to be struggling a lot with the weight of my insecurities bearing down on me like an unwanted burden. The fear of stumbling over my words, of failing to give off  this confidence expected of a not-so-bad model. Sure, I may have looked the part, but talking? It wasn't my thing. The simple thought of messing up the script filled me with nothing but anxiety.

But admitting my fears felt like defeat. So, I plastered on a small smile, trying to act with a nonchalant act that I certainly didn't have.

"I'm just... getting used to it," I offered, my voice subtly cracking with uncertainty.

Ryan's expression softened even further. "Take your time," she urged, her words carrying the reassurencr I so desperately craved.

"Definitely," I murmured, feeling helpless in the face of my own struggles.

"Remember, it's just you and the camera; act like there is no one behind that lens," Ryan advised, her voice soothing. "Speak from the heart, and you'll do great."

"It's tough with a script..." I added, unable to conceal the strain in my voice.

"Oh Ava," she sighed, setting the makeup aside and taking a seat beside me, her gaze locking onto mine. "Listen, you got this," she began, her tone brimming with reassurance. "There are only five lines that you need to say, alright? Five."

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