With Love

Chapter 16: ties that bind

It was a week later that Ruqayya called Sidra. They'd just had lunch and Israh was taking the dishes back to the kitchen.

Things hadn't eased over the seven days. There was still a strain and heavy silence between her and her parents. Jamal and Shakeela had come during the weekend with the kids. Israh had occupied herself with playing football with Hamza, and Sidra and Sikander hadn't been the most enthusiastic parents slash grandparents.

Shakeela bhabhi had tried asking Israh if something else had happened after the whole engagement fiasco, but Israh shook her head and refused to speak. If she did, she'd end up crying and she was tired of doing that.

She'd apologised to her parents the day after her outburst, and almost every day since then but they'd waved her off and remained quiet. So, not knowing what to say or do anymore, she just let them be even if the tension was killing her slowly.

Now, Ruqayya aunty's name flashed on Sidra's phone screen. Israh faltered in her steps at the name, feeling a little nauseous at the remembrance of what had gone down. She was sure they were calling to officially confirm that the alliance was no longer continuing. Israh expected that outcome, yet the reality of it happening right now made her chest squeeze.

She tried to ignore the sting and began cleaning the table with a cloth, as her mother attended the call and moved to the living room. Dull greetings were exchanged. Sidra put the call on speaker so Sikander could hear too, which also meant that Israh could listen in as well.

"I'm alright, Sidra. How are you and bhai?"

"Alhamdulillah. We're good too."

"Alhamdulillah."

Israh lingered at the threshold of the kitchen, leaned her back against the doorframe and continued to hear what they had to say. She didn't know why she wanted to hurt herself like that, why she couldn't just go upstairs and close the door behind her, so she didn't have to hear the words and voice of someone rejecting her, of deeming her unworthy.

Maybe she wanted to punish herself for hurting her parents.

"I wanted to apologise to both of you. We shouldn't have invited Javeria and Khalid that day, but most of all, we should have told you both about Asad's past engagement. I'm really sorry for how things turned out that day, especially to Israh beti."

"It's alright now. Israh was right. We shouldn't have hid anything from you either. You just know how things get so messy with daughters and...I didn't want whatever happened with Aneesa to be something that was representative of Israh."

"Of course, Sidra. I understand that. I just...I was a little sad that you and bhai didn't share that with us. You all went through so much, and we knew nothing about it."

Israh closed her eyes and her hands, the tenseness in her muscles replaced with a relief that at least Ruqayya didn't think badly of her parents, that at least her parents had someone that understood them.

"Everything happened so fast Ruqayya. We made a lot of mistakes."

"So, you really don't know where Aneesa is?"

"Sikander tried to find her for some time, but then there were other things going on and...we couldn't follow up. We didn't wanna involve the police you know?!"

"Hm, yes, I understand." There was a pause on the other side before Ruqayya spoke again. "Chalo sab theek ho jaayega InnShaAllah. Aneesa bhi theek ho gi, I'm sure." (Everything will be alright God willing. Aneesa must be well too)

Israh was just about to occupy herself with the dishes as the knot in her throat loosened, knowing that aunty Ruqayya wasn't upset at them, when something caught her attention again.