Raat ke baad hi to savera hota hai

Part 3

I'm sorry in advance........

Trigger warnings for suicidal ideation

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The dining hall was mostly empty by then, everyone else having already completed their breakfast. Shubman picked up a light breakfast for himself and went to sit in a secluded corner by himself.

While he nibbled on his toast, Kuldeep came and sat beside him with his own plate.

"Morning, Shubhi!"

"Morning, Kuldeep bhaiya" He replied softly, avoiding eye contact. He had no idea how he'd be able to answer if he got asked...

"Abhi kaisa lag raha hai, yaar? Tu kal bola ki tujhe achha nahi lag raha, fir tu dinner k liye aya hi nahi... Sab thik hai na?" (How're you feeling today, dude? You said you weren't feeling well last night, then didn't come down to dinner at all.. is everything alright?) Kuldeep asked, dipping his idli graciously into the sambhar before taking a bite.

"...Mai ab thik hu bhaiya, aap chinta mat kariye"(... I'm alright now, bhaiya, don't worry) Shubman answered, avoiding looking at Kuldeep's concerned eyes.

"Sachhi? Kyunki tum puri tarike se thik nahi lag rahe ho " (Really? Because you don't look fully alright) Kuldeep pressed on, seeing his grimace.

"Thora ajeeb sa lag raha hai... par utna serious kuch nahi hai, bhaiya, mai thik hi hu" (I am feeling a little strange...but it's nothing that serious, bhaiya, I'm alright)

"Pichle bar tu jab aisa bola tha, uske bad tera 104 bukhar aaya tha" (Last time you said this, you got a fever of 104 after that) Kuldeep deadpanned.

"Nahi Bhai, is baar waisa nahi hai" (No, bhai, it's not like that this time)

"Fir kya hai? Bol mujhe" (Then what is it? Tell me)

"Kal raat ko ek bahut hi zyada bura sapna aya tha..uske bad se hi ajeeb sa lag raha hai" (Last night i had this absolutely terrible nightmare..since then I've been feeling kinda weird) Shubman finally confessed.

"Kya hua tha usme? Apne andar na chupake agar bol doge to halka lagega" (What had happened in that? Instead of stifling it within yourself, you'd feel lighter if you shared it) Kuldeep asked softly.

"...Mai nahi bol sakta, bhaiya, bol denge to... to wo sach ho sakta hai, aur agar wo ho gaya to.... to mai..." (I cannot say, bhaiya, if I say it then... then it can come true, and if it comes true then... then I...) Shubman's voice cracked as the tears threatened to spill out. Kuldeep wrapped a protective arm around him, dragging him into a side hug as the younger one shook with tears.

"Itna bura tha?" (This bad?) Kuldeep asked worriedly. Shubman nodded, still shaking with tears as the dream kept flashing in front of his eyes .

They stayed like that for a while before Shubman's phone ringing brought them out of their trance. Shubman winced when he saw it was Ishan. Yash did tell him to give him a call after all... but how could he even begin to explain what happened last night when he didn't understand it himself?

He gave Kuldeep a customary goodbye side hug and picked up the call, knowing he couldn't avoid it for much longer.

"Shubhi, kaisa hai tu ?" (Shubhi, how're you?) Ishan asked so seriously that Shubman had to bite back the joking retort that was on the tip of his tongue.

"Mai bilkul thik hu, Ishu ..tu chinta mat kar" (I'm absolutely fine, Ishu.. don't worry)Over the phone he could hear Ishan scoffing.

"Achha ji... aap bilkul thik hai isiliye aapka kal itna bura haal ho gaya tha ek sapne se" (Okay, mister, you're absolutely fine, that's why you freaked out over what was just a dream..)