Yours Truly [Kittyz]

Twenty Four

Haerin wakes up by the slamming sound on her door. She squints her eyes and gets up to open the door. And when she opens it she sees Danielle standing outside.

“Dani? What happened?” Haerin asks while rubbing her eyes.

“Are you kidding me? You don’t know what happened?” Danielle frowns. 

“No?” Haerin says being clueless.

“You have a final baseball match in 3 weeks and you stopped going to practices when you were the captain of the team. Your coach is trying to contact you but you keep ignoring him. He saw me today at uni and asked me about you” Danielle replies.

“Dani, why couldn’t you just tell him that I am not feeling well” Haerin sighs and goes back to her bed and jumps on it.

“And if he asked what happened to you would I say that your student broke up with your colleague?” Dani enters the room.

“You could have just lied to him saying I got a flu or something” Haerin replies.

“Haerin, for god's sake please try to be normal. It's been 2 weeks already. You can't just stop doing everything and lay in bed whe day like this. You need to get up and start living your life normally again” Danielle pleads.

“If you are done please close the door before leaving” Haerin puts a pillow over her face.

“Fine, do whatever you want. I am done with you too now” Danielle shouts and slams the door before leaving.

Haerin removes the pillow over her face and looks at the door with her tied eyes. She wanted to tell Danielle that she is tired,she is very tired physically and emotionally. She just wished someone would listen to her and let her talk about it for a while instead of shouting at her and telling her to move on.

“None is helping me” Haerin closes her eyes and feels a tear rolling down from her eyes.

Hanni knocks on Minji's door and waits for her to open the door. She presses the bell and knocks again at the same time. After a while Minji opens the door and raises her brow seeing Hanni on her porch, looking so devastated and tired.

“What are you doing here?” Minji asks in a cold tone.

“Look I know I fucked up but please help me. I just can't take it anymore” Hanni pleads.

“What do you want me to do? How can I even help you?” Minji softens her tone seeing how Hanni is almost on the verge of tears.

“I don’t know how you can. I don't even know if it's something which can be solved or helped. I don't know” Hanni finishes and starts crying.

“Hey hey calm down” Minji says and holds Hanni to stop her kneeling down in front of her door.

Minji makes Hanni get inside of her house and sit on the couch. Hanni keeps crying and Minji tries her best to comfort her.

“Hanni, stop crying and calm down please” Minji pats Hanni's back.

“How can I calm down knowing how I messed  up everything? Something which was going so smoothly and nicely got destroyed just because of me. It was all my fault” Hanni continued to cry.

“Calm down Hanni, it's not your fault fully. It's definitely a misunderstanding. Haerin didn’t see the whole thing and you got mad at her instead of explaining it to her properly. The fault is both of yours” Minji sighs.

“Now what am I supposed to do? How can I get it back? How can I get her back? Is there even a way to make everything fine again?” Hanni asks. 

“I don’t know. I don't know how Haerin is seeing this situation. She even stopped talking to Dani. Totally locked herself up and not talking to anyone” Minji says.

Hearing this,Hanni cries out again. Minji just sighs and pats her again.

“Don't cry, Hanni. Just give Haerin some time and let her be herself. You can try talking to her after the final, a week later” Minji comforts Hanni.

“I hope she will let me talk to her and explain everything to her” Hanni says, wiping her tears.

Eunchae kicks Haerin’s door and breaks it open. It makes Haerin jump out from her bed and fall on the ground. Eunchae goes to Haerin, kneels down and grabs her collar to make her face her.

“What the fuck is wrong with you Kang Haerin?” Eunchae shouts at Haerin's face.

Haerin is still half asleep and seeing everything unclear. She is extremely confused why Eunchae is even shouting at her.

“Eh?” Haerin makes an unclear noise.

“Why have you locked yourself up for two weeks already? We have a final match next Sunday. We have to practice but you aren’t joining” Eunchae shouts.

“Oh” Haerin says and yawns.

“What does Oh mean, idiot?” Eunchae gets pissed off by Haerin's unseriousness.

“I just don't feel like it, Eunchae” Haerin says softly.

“What do you mean?” Eunchae asks.

“I have been going through a lot, you know. But my mental health has been destroyed completely. I don't find the courage to go outside. I don't have the will to practice. I don't even feel like living anymore. It all feels so worthless” Haerin sighs. It makes Eunchae let Haerin's collar go from her grip.

“I know Haerin, I know what you are going through” Eunchae gently puts her hand on Haerin's shoulder.

“No you fucking don't” Haerin shouts and slams away Eunchae's hand.

“No one knows what I am going through. You all just want me to act fine as if nothing happened. It's hard to move on. It’s hard to admit that you aren’t loved by someone who loved you so much once. It's hard to just cope with it. It hurts so much to feel unloved by the person you love so much. It's really so hard, Eunchae. It hurts so much” Haerin cries out.

“I know I know” Eunchae pulls Haerin into her hug.

“Let it all out on me,Haerin. I am sorry for behaving like that earlier. I didn't know you were still feeling like this. I am so sorry. Just let it out on me. I am always here, all for you” Eunchae caresses Haerin's head.

“It hurts so much, Eunchae” Haerin puts her face into Eunchae's chest and cries more.

“Make yourself and your heart light by crying, Haerin. You are going to feel lot better” Eunchae says.

“Do I not deserve anything, Eunchae? Do I jot deserve love and affection? Do I not deserve any care” Haerin asks.

“Look at me” Eunchae makes Haerin sit down properly and face her.

“You deserve love,care and everything. Please look around. You wilk definitely find someone who loves you,wants to take care of you and be with you unconditionally. So don't say like that please. You are loved, Haerin” Eunchae wipes Haerin's tears.

Haerin puts her face back into Eunchae's chest. Eunchae hugs Haerin and keeps caressing her head and back. Haerin started feeling so comfortable and warm staying like that. She wishes to not to get up again from Eunchae's warm embrace and face the world again which has been so cruel to her. Haerin hugs Eunchae back and closes her eyes, taking a big breath and lets it out in relief knowing she does have someone who is willing to open their arms for her no matter what.

ꕤ