ꜱᴀᴛᴏꜱᴜɢᴜ ᴏɴᴇꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ

a fucking mess

-written in lowercase
- unprofessional aged relationships (even tho suguru is 18 i personally don't condone this behaviour)
-this is still a stsg oneshot but i'm trying to style it a lil bit differently

suguru's pov:

i hate myself. everything about me i hate.

i hate how ugly i look, and how weird my eyes are. why are they purple?

i don't like how i've been loosing weight lately. just because i'm too fucking weak to eat.

i hate my cursed technique and how i have to absorb curses and hear their thoughts in my head.

their disgusting, inhumane, cruel thoughts linger, never letting me rest.

i hate my insomnia and my inability to have good nights sleep. but forces me to be awake in the early hours.

i hate being fucking gay. when i know it's wrong. but i still choose to like men who have no fucking interest in me. like satoru. who fucking hates me.

i hate that i always have to victimise myself just like i'm doing right now. but no one fucking cares.

i hate that i got so drunk that i woke up in my professor toji fushiguro's bed.  and i hate that i let him groom me and he still is.

i hate that i know it's wrong but it feels so right. and that's my only fucking coping mechanism.

i'm a disgusting fucking mess. that's what i am. a disgusting human being.

i hate that i don't have the willpower to kill myself.

i hate that i am suguru geto.

———-

suguru, was in his last lesson of the day combat with yaga.

he was fighting the spoiled douche, satoru, that couldn't help but crush on.

"you're getting more skinny than me. maybe it's time to eat something. breadstick." satoru teases his sparring partner.

"shut the fuck up dipshit. or i'll hurt you."

a strong force, pulled suguru down making him lad on his back. "practice more suguru. it's no fun fighting with a loser. bitch." he laughed at him.

"don't call me a bitch. i'm not a fucking bitch." he fought back.

"why can't i call you one. you're a dumb bitch, ugly bitch, skinny bitch, and a faggot bitch." he smiled.

"i hate you gojo."  it looked like he was about to cry.

his crush basically insulted him in all possible ways. he made him feel so bad about himself.

suguru barricaded himself in his dorm crying. he wants to drink. it's a horrible habit he's picked up ever since the taste of curses, the alcohol would give a burning sensation as if it was killing the curses.

and it numbs his feelings.

he took a small sip enough to make him get tipsy and numb the pain.

he receives a message from his phone.

toji: suguru. come to the usual in 5 minutes.

suguru: sure.

suguru, despite being somewhat drunk yet sober walked to the usual place. the secluded side of jujutsu high which no one went to.