𝙇𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙨: a percy Jackson x reader fic

₊˚.༄ Burnout

★༺༄ SONG RECOMMENDATION: A mistake - Fiona Apple

⊱🦈⊹˚ ˚ ⊹🌊⊰ ⊱🦈⊹˚ ˚ ⊹🌊⊰

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 2: Burnout.

It was the 9th hour in the study hall. Except you weren't where you were supposed to be; you were in the bathroom stall with nothing on you, letting your tears dry up on your face. You had been in the library for about 10 minutes, and you didn't know what came over you. You opened a few assignments, and you knew you didn't have much of a choice other than to complete them, but as soon as you opened them, and it seemed like 7 questions turned into 50, it overwhelmed you in a way you hadn't felt in a while. A terrible dread—the kind that clawed at your gut and made you feel like you could just faint right there—you had become fairly familiar with that feeling as of late. Then that overwhelm turned into thinking about everything else going on in your life, and  then that turned into a frog in your throat you knew you couldn't swallow, so you took your water bottle and phone and signed out quickly, leaving your backpack stranded.
You walked straight past the mirror, not wanting to see the state you were in right now. and headed inside the nearest stall, and you just stared at the wall beyond you, dissociating and thinking about everything. Your responsibilities piled up on your back and forced you into a slump. Your once optimistic and extroverted personality had slowly become a bit more unlikeable, and even a conversation of 30 minutes could drain you so much that you desperately needed a nap. Your mental health had plummeted, but to save face, most of your crises had only been known to this exact bathroom stall.

Each breakdown would follow a slap of humiliation when you realized just how many people were in your position, and they were thriving; they worked with their setbacks rather than just throwing a pity party and giving up. As more thoughts of similar nature popped up, you knew if you didn't shut this down now, you wouldn't survive the rest of the day, so you tried your best to suck it up, though your lightly quivering lip betrayed your stern face, anyone with a brain would have known what was happening, but you convinced yourself you were some sort of stealthy genius, easily able to deceive those around you that you were doing wonderful, and the crushing weight of due dates was not making you reach the requirements for a straitjacket, and you quickly pulled out your phone from your pocket, it had been 5 minutes since you stormed out from the library as quietly as you could without drawing attention to your quickly deteriorating physical and mental state. You scrolled through your phone, checking messages people had sent you, most days old, that you had either read and not had the energy to respond to or ones you ignored entirely. You found yourself scrolling a bit through social media to distract yourself.

You knew you had to go back and retrieve your things; you just needed a moment. You hadn't been so overwhelmed in a while, not to the point of tears at least, and honestly, it felt nice to let it out, though your face definitely felt hot from embarrassment. You closed your phone and opened it once more, only to be slapped in the face with the date that lies in bold letters on your home screen: November 16th. About a week ago, you had promised Mr. Curran you would tutor, and today was the after-school meeting, where they would begin working out schedules as well as assigning students and setting expectations. You quickly straightened yourself up. The news that was only new to you washed over you as you let out a sigh. You really needed a nap, a break—just a break from life for a moment—but now you would have to face your idiotic decision and live up to your responsibilities. You were a student that was held to high standards, and you refused to let that down; you were way too stubborn.

You stood up from your place on the toilet, checking your phone one last time after a brief trance, attempting to come to terms with the fact you didn't really have a choice; it had been ten minutes since you abandoned your studies in a rush and escaped to go have a short-lived mental breakdown. You sighed lightly as you felt a bit humiliated, your face hot from humiliation as well as from crying. You made your way out of the bathroom, checking your appearance in the mirror with a quick glance. Your mascara was unfortunately too waterproof for its own good, and now your lashes were just clumped together; they had not run at all. If you weren't so upset, you would've been impressed. You quickly tied your hair back into a low bun and made your way back to the library with a little less dignity than before. You signed back in and took a sip of water, replenishing the water that the silent tears had drained out. You sped-walked toward your things and sat back down where you previously were. A girl had been sitting across from you the whole time, though you didn't really notice her until a few moments ago. someone you knew decently well, but they aren't technically your friend.