A Written Mistake From The Past

Simula

hehe manifesting matapos before this month's end.

Love is powerful yet risky. It can rule your body, mind, and soul. It can make you feel the best feeling ever and the worst as well. Love can make you stronger yet you'll be the weakest once you failed, hurt, and betrayed. Love can let out your other hidden emotions and feelings but once your heart's bleed you'll end up with nothing.

Ruined. Miserable. Worthless.

I slowly walked towards her who's currently sitting on the veranda. I stopped on where I can have a clearer view of her. Sa harapan siya nakatingin kung saan makikita ang papalubog na araw.

Her innocent face is void. I remember that whenever she knows I'm staring at her she would always show her brightest smiles. She wants me to see that she's happy. But when she's alone, those lively eyes became dull and empty. Her sweet and gentle smiles turns into a weary one. And I can see it clearly, right now, that she's unaware about my presence.

Tumama ang sinag ng panghapong araw sa mukha niya. The rays of decrowning sun reached her eyes. My heart's hurt when I saw how her eyes flickers. Again.

Palagi ko iyong nakikita. I lost count on how many times her eyes flickers whenever she's alone. Looking and waiting for the sunset to passed. When she spaces out out of nowhere.

In that moment, I already knew that she remember something from the past.

I know that she already recovered from the trauma. But not from the past. Not from the loss of the two important person in her life. But that kind of pain doesn't need the help from any professionals. Sarili niya lang ang makakatulong sa kaniya.

But I understand if she can't still forget what happened. Hindi mo kailangan kalimutan ang mga masasakit na pangyayari sa buhay mo para lang makapagpatuloy ka ulit sa buhay. You only need to accept and understand the situation. Dahil kapag tanggap mo, kahit masakit, makakaya mong magsimula muli.

I am happy at the same time proud of her because she did it. What she experienced were too much, too risky. Recovering from the tragic events of your life isn't easy and simple, you need the time, courage, and hope. At hanga ako sa tapang niya dahil nalagpasan niya ang ganoong yugto ng kaniyang buhay.

I am proud of you, Crisha. Hindi lang ako kundi lahat kaming nagmamahal sayo. Tandaan mo yan.

"Crish," matagal pa bago siya lumingon sakin.

She's too distracted. Nag-aalala ako sa kaniya. Nagdadalawang isip na tuloy ako kung itutuloy ko ba itong plano ko o hindi nalang.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Iniwanan ko ang ginagawa at umupo sa kama katabi niya.

She gives me her usual sweet smile.

"I'll be okay." she said, assuring me. "You've been here for a long time. Siguro oras na rin ito para bumalik kana at para na rin hindi na ako masyadong dumepende sayo."

I don't want her to think that she's being a burden to me. It is my own decision to be with her, to stay by her side. Walang pumilit sakin, dahil ito ang gusto ko.

"Magaling na ako, Gwen. I did it. I am healed. I conquered those trauma. I conquered my past........ my weaknesses." a forced smile plastered on her red lips. "You're proud of me, right?" marahan niyang tanong.

Her voice is so hopeful. Na parang gusto niyang marinig mula sa akin na proud ako sa kaniya. Na tila iyon lang ang makakapagpanatag sa kaniya, ang marinig ito mula sa akin. Little did she knows that she doesn't need to ask. Because I am always, always.... proud of her.

"You are strong, Crish. Ikaw ang pinakamatatag na taong nakilala ko. So you don't have to asked me about that."

Pumihit siya paharap sa akin. I can now see her face clearly. Mas lalo siyang gumanda ngayon. I can't blame Lawrenz kung bakit siya hulog na hulog dito sa kaibigan ko. Her innocent face is ethereal. You wouldn't thought that this innocent beauty had been scathed. And experienced a deep pain. Faced and overcome a hardest battle of life.