Be the good to my bad

Break it till you own it.-Landon

The teacher once asked us who do we think it's the  biggest villain  in our lifes.Like every normal teenager I said my parents making everyone in the class laugh including  the teacher.
The classmates started talking about how that's so true ,how they parents would ground them and take their phones or how they would  make them   go school instead of partying.How they would make them make them come to the living room and watch together boring shows.
At that moment ,at the age of fourteen  ,the first time in my life,I was jealous.

From  young age I couldn't get jealous, couldn't feel what I should ,when I found out how wrong that sounds I started faking it from the kindergarten.At times I was happy.
I couldn't feel the punches nor the belt on my back but there was this nasty feeling I could always feel with only one person that could make me feel that way.

Fear.

The worst moment was that I started liking the thing about not feeling.It was just easier.But after I started feeling the fear,I thought there won't be worst than this.Because you see when I was scared I was calm too, I had only  the  adrenaline aspect of it. I thought that was it.
I was wrong.

There was the jealousy.
Then that thought clicked in my mind.

I'm losing control.

I can't loose control.

I did everything I could to put those two things in grave from that moment I didn't felt anything . Without  fear,without jealousy. I was fine,I was doing okay.I wore the mask so well that I began to think,the mask was me.

The second I saw her, a tiny, tiny part of the mask cracked. From then on, I knew I was done for. For the first time in a long time, I felt jealous when I saw her with the jerk at the pool party, I knew I shouldn't have cared, and yet.  Once again I felt jealous when I saw the bastartd  looking at her with his  fucking eyes begging to be clawed off, once again when I realized that they were texting , that she didn't listen to me at the wedding.

Another fucking time when she was talking to him again here in the corner, so close  that I could have kissed her if it's was me. This fucking time I felt something fucked, I felt fear. I, who thought that only one woman could make me feel this desolate feeling, I was wrong again.

There was a woman scarier than her. Because this woman makes my poisonous rotten heart beat. Makes me want to wrap her and never let her go, touch her hair,dye her whole body  with my blood, swallow her with  my smell, to lock her somewhere and not let her go. Let no one see her, no one hear her, no one think about her, let her not think about anyone. Let me touch her, at least one and only time. Who am I fooling? No matter how many times I touch her, it's not enough, it's just not. I want her nails , sink deep into my skin. I want her to paint me like she paints  her painrings, to stare at me like she stares at her book. I just want the black and  cold eyes on me, red and juicy lips on me, white skin, small and weak body on me. Oh fuck.

I sigh.I'm hard.

My younger  self would have laughed if he had seen me.
I walk in the house the first time after all that happened at the game.Like I'd want but the old man was clear. I think they already came but I just wanted to come late.Maybe like this I won't be able to feel her presence presence much.I see all the maids are here.If they haven't listen to me and the old man finds out weve stayed aloneon the house I  could say bye bye  my dear car.That or he kills me after I messed up with his little step daughter.He shouldn't thought, i haven't started yet.

I see them all laughing and talking.
The old man's smile doesn't drip for a minute,her mother shows her some stupid stuff nonstop talking. I'm trying so hard to not set my eyes on her but I fail.She's dressed in black short and big black t-shirt,her hair in bun her bangs suit her,they really do.I was never into long hair but she pulls it.

I smile.

Her face full clean ,without make up or touch or anything, at point that should turn me  off.Of course beacuse my dick is clearly broken right now,that turns me on.My cock literally begs and rubs on my pants begging  me  to go out.How to explain him that I can't fuck her infront of the old man who is my birth father and her mother,oh and wait both of them are married.

Maybe after all I should've called Cole.He is the only one who can stop fe from doing stupid things.By going there and strangle her life out of her.

I think he'll understand.
Clearly he doesn't understand  and it takes me everything to calm down without going there with birner or worst , bent her over and take her there.I catch Mio's mother eyes and smile walking in.
"Ah Landon!"
"Hi!So how was it?"I sit c next to Mio for my surprised she doesn't move away,I'm not sure if she breaths right now.
"It was really nice."She tells smiling and hangs me pictures.
"Here.I was showing this to Mio."I take them making myself look im interested. But Mio still hasn't look at me.
"I see you had a good time.Nice."I say giving them to Mio and can't skip the chance to touch her fingers,I felt her shivering but I slide my eyes and her face was cold,blank but her lips give her away.I'm not sure if she knows but every time she's nervous she bites her low lip.I can't help the smile that cracks me.
"Yes but I really missed you two.How was it did you had fun?Mio told me about it."I smirked.
"She did?"I asked but Mio started coughing.I patted her on her back.
She didn't move.
"There ,there."I say as I sttoke her back.
"We actually started liking each other."I said taking my hand off.

Calm down buddy.Let my brain think.Being horny won't help you,right now.

"Did you?"Old man finally spoke.
"Yes,he's not so bad."Mio cutted it short.
"I'm happy for you two."Her mother touched or both hands.I smiled at her.
"Okay let me settle down  the dinner then."She smiled and stood up.
"I'll help you mom, I'll just go take those things in my room."The old man smiled at her.I narrowed my eyes on him.
"Landon will help you."
"No."I smiled.
"I mean ,no need."
I take couple of things from the table.
"Of course it is need.Come."I say and wait for her to go.When she starts walking I walk after her.
We go up and walk in her room.

Black.As always.All filled with books but not  ike those Cole reads,more childish.Manga.

I left them on her bad when she tries to leave I block her way fast making her bump in my chest.

I cock my head.
"Move."I smile.But I don't.
"Move or-"
"I'm curious. Why didn't you told them what happened?"
She narrowed her eyes on me.
"Look you asshole,my mother is finally  happy .I won't put that on the stake for a biopolar psycho."

Ouch.That's should've hurt.But it didn't.It should've thought like the other time.But this time I just smiled.
"Now move."She demands but doesn't come closer.

I walk forward as she walks back.Her black eyes shine with nervousness, but here is the interesting part.She doesn't say anything, doesn't stop me.Her chest falls and gets up.Again and again.I don't stop walking, neither does she and that costs her falling on the bad.

Bad move.

She looks at me from down with parted lips and fear.Her chest falling but she breaths.And im tempted to let her hair fall but I don't.Instead I look her and take my little knife from my pocket ,Alice gifted me for my birthday.I slide my finger not fatal nor enough to get it notices but enough to draw blood out.I see her swallowing but doesn't say anything.Her eyes don't move from mine.I put ii back in my pocketAnd take a breath.

I stroke the same cheek like the other time,this time with my blood on her skin.
"Beautiful.So beatifull."

This time I'll take care of Nikko not only by taking his tooth ,but I'll take his fear and eat it.And you, my little japanese.Before fucking you ,before entering you,I'll enter in your mind and break it first,I'll break it so good and then make it my own place.
I'll broke you so just  could I own you.

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