A Tapestry of Thoughts

Your Anything

I want to be your regret
The cause of the tears that you wept
Years of your life spent
Trying to get the thought of me
out of your head

I want to be your anger 
An ever eternal flame
A burning hunger
One could never truly tame

I'll settle for anything
You'd be willing to give
There's nothing more stupid 
Then a halfwitted fool and a stubborn heart that refuses to forget

I insist to be the captain of a sinking ship
Sailing through a furious Strom
I foolishly place all of my bets
On a losing war
Aways praying for a different outcome, I suppose

I'd rather have your scorn
Then your silence
To be left here alone
Would be an act of great malevolence

I'd rather have your despise
Then, to look in those eyes
And be met with cold indifference

Don't you know your absence
Feels like a wound that always stings
That the thought of your name
Falling off of some elses' lips
Is like stabbing a knife straight through my abdomen
Then Giving it a sudden twist

Wrapped around my heart vines of poison ivy
Said my want for you was half-hearted
Still I find myself sick with envy
Imagining the day
you gaze apon someone else's face
And it dawns on you, this the love
You oh so desperately crave

You're my greatest tragedy
My one and only Achilles heel
I dance alone to your memory
A scar that will never ever really heal

You're the loaded gun
I aim to my  head
Your names a trigger
Each night I die by your hand
a thousand deaths over and over again

You're the Barbwire
Digging into my skin
Every time I try to escape
The needle further deepen
I'm left there bleeding

I send out a desperate plea
For dreamless night
Praying that you'll finally
Be out of my sight
Forever Living in Fear that I might
See you tonight