In the Beginning (The Weapons Mistress AU)

Origami Tsunami

Suspenseful music plays thow out the lair. Venus let out a sigh as she stared at the destroyed dummy. Her naginata disappears in a cyan light. Then she walks to the living area, where a movie is playing on a giant screen and Splinter is seated in his easy chair, smiling as he watches a movie.

Venus: What are you watching?

Mikey: Lou Jitsu Teriyaki Shakedown

Big actor: Where's our free grub, noodle man?

Lou Jitsu Raph in front of the screen, mouthing the lines with him: Okay, ha. How 'bout some . . . hot soup?

Raph grips Donatello's chest and then Michelangelo's. Actors on screen yell as they are tossed, and Raph tosses his brothers too. Both yell as they fall face first into hot noodle soup. Noodle lands on Splinter's face, and he eats it.

Lou Jitsu laugh: Too spicy for you? Everyone's a critic. Hm.

Donatello: Man, Teriyaki Shakedown always gets me so inhales jazzed!

Raphael: Yeah, Lou Jitsu's the business!

Remote goes flying through the air and hits Raph in the face, knocking him down.

Splinter: Then why do you insult the master with your poor technique?

Leaps off chair, spins in the air, and smashes into all three of his sons.

Spinter: Hot soup!

Stands up as turtles groan.

Spinter: Do not worry. Someday, you will be great ninjas with a little practice . . . is something I would say if I were a liar.

Michelangelo: That's nice of you to say, Pop, but I'm tired of practicing.

Raph stands up: Yeah, we can be heroes like Lou Jitsu!

Splinter laughs: Nice try.

He walks away.

Mikey: Facing Raph: We got the squillz, and we got the tight color-coordinated team look.

Raph Bumps fists with Mikey: Let's do it! Let's go out and bust some bad guys!

Donnie Pops up in front of them with his tablet: Yeah. I just feel like, you know, we need a case to get the juices flowing a little bit. You know, let's see what the internet has to say about it, shall we . . .

Leo hops up from behind the easy chair and then flops over the back of it, and Venus walks over.

Mikey: Yo, Leo, we're gonna be heroes!"
Leonardo

Leo Slithers down, so he's on his back on the chair seat.

Leo: Okay, what's the plan? Solve the city's rat problem?

Splinter Tail flashes out and smacks Leo in the face, knocking him off the chair: Hey now. I am standing right here.

Leo sits up, rubbing his head, and Raph looks at him.

Raph to Leo: Pfft, no way. We're crime fighters!

Don Holding his tablet so the screen is visible to everyone: Okay, check this out. The Spine Breaking Bandit!

Raph chuckles: Yeah. Go big or go home!

Venus: How about no,

Leo Slides in between Mikey and Don: Yeah, go home on a stretcher. What else did you get?

Donnie Sweeps finger across tablet to bring up another screen: Uh, okay, here's something. The Long Island Mangler!

Leo sets his hands on the screen: Okay, Donnie. I appreciate you giving your best effort, but maybe we should save mangling and spine breaking for, I don't know, our second day?