Unseen Journey

Be Better [3]

"-aru..." There's a faint noise I hear, but I can't pinpoint its source, only sensing that it's drawing nearer. "Chiharu!" My eyes snap open, gasping for breath as I find myself engulfed in darkness. I hear heavy panting, someone clearly out of breath, and I realize it's still dark outside. "What happened, Chiharu?!?!" I squint, trying to make out a figure of similar size to mine. With pale porcelain skin that's always flushed, bright blonde hair, and shining blue eyes, I recognize her instantly. She's my friend. "Yemi?" My voice is feeble, almost lost amidst the howling wind, and it pains me to speak. "Yes! Yes, it's me! What are you doing out here?!" Her voice is frantic as she attempts to clear the hardened snow off me. I struggle to respond, my voice barely audible. "It was Samantha... they... they were angry..." Her voice trembles with anxiety as she speaks next. "Just hold on for a moment, okay?! I'm going to get help!" Her voice fades as my eyes close, and when I reopen them, mere seconds later, I find myself in a bed with two others nearby.

I blink a few times, the soft glow from a small lamp casting a gentle haze that makes it challenging for my eyes to adjust. Beside me, Yemi sits, a reassuring presence in the dimly lit room. Further away, I discern another figure seated at what seems to be a desk, the faint glow of a laptop screen illuminating their features. It slowly dawns on me that we must be in Jamie's room, a place that holds a sense of familiarity and sanctuary for us.

Jamie, the eldest among the star children at 17, commands attention with her mere presence. Her maturity is evident in the way she carries herself, with poise and grace. She possesses a feminine frame, standing tall with gentle curves that hint at her athleticism. Her luscious golden chestnut hair cascades over her shoulders in soft waves, framing her warm honey-colored eyes and lightly tanned skin. She radiates a quiet strength and confidence that draws others to her.

"Hey guys... Thank you," I murmur softly, my voice barely audible in the tranquil atmosphere of the room. As I take in my surroundings, I realize I'm lying in Jamie's bed, the soft blankets enveloping me in warmth and comfort, a stark contrast to the uncertainty that often accompanies life in the orphanage.

There's a palpable tension in the air before Jamie speaks up, her furrowed brow and frustrated tone revealing her inner turmoil. "I don't understand why you let them do that to you," she remarks, her concern evident in her voice. Yemi's interruption follows, her cheerful tone contrasting sharply with the seriousness of the conversation. "Yeah! You're clearly capable of taking care of yourself. I mean, I've seen you in the gym, you've got a mean right hook!" Her words echo with genuine admiration, emphasizing the physical strength I possess compared to my peers.

Although I know they mean well, I've previously explained to them that fighting back would only exacerbate the situation. But Jamie's next words cut through my thoughts, her interruption halting my attempt to justify enduring the abuse. "Yemi's right, you know," she interjects firmly. Before I can offer my explanation about the twisted joy my abusers derive from my suffering, Jamie presses on. "And don't give me that excuse about them finding happiness in hurting others—because you know that's not true." Her frustration with my self-deception is evident as she dismisses my rationalizations. "They'll only find happiness when they escape this hellhole."

Her words strike a nerve, conflicting with my attempts to bury my emotions. "Besides, I can tell it angers you. You can't deny it," Jamie continues, her observation hitting uncomfortably close to home. "I see the way you glare at them when you think no one's watching you." Her astute perception leaves me speechless, my words caught in my throat.

As Jamie's words hang in the air, I find myself struggling to maintain my facade of indifference. "I... It's just easier to pretend it doesn't bother me," I finally admit, the weight of my confession heavy on my shoulders. "Admitting that it does would mean nobody wins; that my pain is insignificant in the grand scheme of things." Despite my attempts to appear resilient, I know my vulnerability is exposed, leaving me feeling defeated and exposed. Yet, amidst the turmoil, I cling to the hope that Jamie will understand the complexities of my situation and offer her support.

Jaime requests Yemi to fetch water from the kitchen which was met with a swift nod and the soft click of the door closing behind her. Seizing the moment, Jaime shifted to the chair beside me, her presence commanding my attention. With a firm yet compassionate tone, she began to speak.

"This isn't merely about winning, Chi," Jaime's voice resonated with determination, echoing through the room. "It's about survival. Surviving until you either find a family through adoption or age out of the system. And when you're out there in the real world, what then? Yemi and I won't be there to shield you when someone else tries to break you, and believe me, they will try. Hurt people, hurt people. You have to rise to the occasion, to become stronger, so you can eventually leave this place and forge a wonderful life with wonderful people. But those things only come to those who work hard for them."

As Jaime's heartfelt words washed over me, tears welled in my eyes, blurring my vision. Her warm hands reached up, gently wiping them away, her touch like a comforting embrace. I instinctively reached out, grasping her hands in mine, finding solace in her presence amidst the turmoil of emotions stirring within me.

"I know this might come across harsh, but denying the reality of your situation won't benefit anyone, least of all yourself. Look, I'm not supposed to tell anyone  this, but I think you need to be aware. There's been some significant interest in Yemi from a lovely elderly couple for several months now. They've already started the adoption process, so she could be leaving with them anywhere from one to four months from now. And as for me, I'll be turning 18 in just a few weeks. After that, I only have a 60-day window to make my exit. It means you'll have to start looking out for yourself once we're gone.

"I want to see you thrive, to bounce back from this rough patch. Take charge of your academics, give yourself the best shot at a bright future, and start standing up for yourself. You don't deserve the mistreatment, not from Samantha, not from her crew, not from anyone. Yes, life may have dealt you a tough hand initially, but that doesn't dictate how the rest of your story unfolds."

As the door swings open, it creaks softly on its hinges, announcing Yemi's arrival. With a playful bounce in her step, she enters the room carrying a tray of three glasses of water. The glasses clink lightly against each other, and a few droplets spill over the edges, leaving tiny glistening trails on the tray. Yemi's cheerful demeanor dims slightly when she notices my tear-streaked face.

"Is everything okay, Chiharu? Was it Samantha again?" she asks with genuine concern, her brow furrowing. "I should just give her a good old whack to the head, shouldn't I?"

I manage a weak smile through my tears as Jaime steps in to reassure her. "No, sweetheart, Chi just got some dust in her eyes. It caused some irritation, but we've taken care of it. She's all good now." Jaime's soothing voice eases the tension in the room, and she reaches out to take one of the glasses of water from Yemi's tray, offering a comforting smile.

Yemi's eyes brighten again at Jaime's reassurance, and Jaime proposes an idea to lift our spirits. "How about we all stay in my room tonight? We can cuddle up in my bed and watch a movie on my laptop together." Her enthusiasm is infectious, and Jaime and I both nod in agreement, Yemi cheering excitedly. Despite my lingering sadness, I manage a strained, tearful smile, touched by their kindness and warmth.

Nestled together in the cozy embrace of this shared bed, we gathered around to watch a cherished pre-recorded Disney classic, "Cinderella." Jaime, positioned in the middle, enveloped us with her comforting presence, her arms encircling our shoulders, gently smoothing our hair as the movie played on. Despite the snugness of our arrangement, the warmth of companionship made it feel just right; we found solace in our togetherness.

I could sense Jaime's earnest effort to uplift my spirits, and so I played along, striving to mask my inner turmoil. Yet, beneath the veneer of contentment, a lingering unease gnawed at me. The impending departure of both Yemi and Jaime and the company she represented loomed large, threatening to plunge me back into the depths of solitude.

As sleep enveloped me, I found myself ensnared in a harrowing nightmare. In the darkness, I was trapped within a suffocating box, devoid of escape, with no one to offer solace or rescue. The terror of my dream mirrored the stark reality of my fears, amplifying the sense of isolation that gripped me.

When morning arrived, the remnants of my nocturnal ordeal lingered, casting a shadow over my waking hours. The echoes of loneliness reverberated within me, serving as a somber reminder of the imminent departure and the solitude it promised to usher in once more.