People came and went, along with ideas, motives, comfort, peace, sanity, and bliss. Time passed, crowds rose and then were washed away. Things seemed to be going fine, in accordance with whatever had seemed to be the start of a music career a couple months back. I was away from home, pursuing the thing I love, doing drugs..and selling them of course. Though everywhere I go I feel there is a bounty on my head, a high beam on my temple. Tori was still out there, Marley too, my mind dwelled and pondered anxiously on my time left. Scripts left empty weekly to settle my nerves.
Another underground show was to be held tonight, I woke up sluggishly, the enthusiasm I used to have was missing. I rolled myself to the edge of Scott's bed and hung my feet off, my eyes meeting my palms as I held my head. I could hear music coming faintly from the other room along with indistinct chatter. I drug myself into the bathroom as I freshened up. I observed my complexion as I brushed my teeth, a sight I try not to make a habit of looking at. There was no more bruising or cuts, just tiny scars here and there to mark memories. There were very little bags under my eyes though my eyes themselves told another story. Red with constricted pupils, and I wondered why I felt this way. My bender from the night before carried over into today, though that has probably been most of my days.
Once I was done I made my way to the kitchen, Ruby and Scrim were in the living room, their music was playing as they examined each song. I grabbed a monster and cracked it open, guzzling down about half the can.
"Mornin shawty," They both said simultaneously.
"Mornin," I whispered into the room as if still tangled in the remnants of sleep. The electric juice sparked its way down my stomach, cramping me up slightly. I plopped myself onto the sofa as they continued to double and triple check their playlist.
Ruby's pupils matched mine though his eyes were crystal clear while Scrims' were blown up almost to the size of his iris. There was a thin ice blue line that outlined the void that sat in the middle of his eyes. I took my phone out and scrolled around as time went by.
At the very last minute I scavenged through the kitchen to find something to eat after the 7 hours I had already been up. We were all prepped and ready, had the backup and the speakers, the music files and mics. We aimed towards our destination in a haste, I set myself in the passenger seat of Scott's car. There was neither a development or decline that grew or shrank between us. There was no pause in what had been ongoing, and just as that we sat in silence as we dazed off into the road.
I couldn't help but feel like there was a hairball in my chest, choking me when I'd try to hack it out. It's been there a while, growing more and more as I digest everything life has to throw at me. We zoomed out of the seventh ward and took many backroads, twists, and turns. My thoughts were all static, soon to be interrupted by a stop just off interstate 10. The area was familiar, bright neon signs and loud music filled the streets.
I chuckled to myself, "I remember.. My parents used to come here for Mardi Gras, for Bourbon street,"
"Oh yeah?" Scrim replied to me, but I was just speaking out loud.
"Yeah," I muttered as all the street lights and people whirled past.
The memory jumped out as everything in my mind sat still. My heart was nonexistent and my mind was wiped. I could just wonder when I came to be this way, why was I this way?
Eventually we finally arrived at our supposed destination, something opposite of beaming energy and neon signs. Scott parked his car and turned the ignition off. I followed his actions, getting out of the car and making my way towards the trunk to retrieve my bag. I grabbed it and waited for Scrim to lead the way, my brain too foggy to lead myself.
The night time surrounded us, besides one area that contained a dimly lit lamppost and the help of the bright full moon. A cement staircase descended into shadows that guided us to what felt like another realm. The air hummed with energy from crowds of people navigating through the labyrinth of rooms. Security was discreet, hiding in the shadows of the nooks and crannies in the peculiar location.
"What is this?" I tried to ask Scrim over the chatter and music.
Eyes followed us as we walked down the corridor that looked like miles. Each side of the hall had rooms that deposited people into a series of things.
"Jus like a hole in the wall," He said.
And a hole in the wall was exactly what this was. After walking for a little while we met the end of the outlet, a literal hole in the wall that served as a portal to a captivating scene. The sound of the crowd's excitement seeped through the muffled beats and lyrics.
As I observed everything going on, Scott disappeared out of my sight, leaving me to make my way through to wherever I'd decide to perch myself. Fluorescent indicators pointed to areas with alcohol, clothes, food, even sex, now I was brewing up a chamber especially for drugs.
I'm sure you could assume how blurry images came to be as night progressed. Scott and Ruby took the place of the entertainment that was previously presented, filling the void with loud chants and blaring beats. After selling almost out of all my stock, I decided to migrate somewhere else, where I could fill my own void. I strolled through corridors searching for a bathroom or even a back room. The persistent mist enveloped my vision, casting an ethereal haze over the vivid lights and dark corners of the area. Each step felt uncertain, though something dragged me towards an aura that blurred my surroundings. Forest green lights faded as people indistinctly passed by me. My body did not walk but hovered towards this powerful energy that began to overstimulate me.
My eyes drooped low as voices entered my thoughts, although they were just as foggy as my vision perceived them everything to be. My body felt limp though comfortable, humming reverberating in my ears.
"..I." I tried to speak out, wondering if I had taken something I shouldn't have. The transe I seemed to be locked in was something of a heroin high.. though slightly different qualities. The lights flexed from green to black, my skin tingled as my emotions released through each one of my pores. My eyes rolled around unintentionally, my mind giving in to every euphoric feeling I was being doused into.
"You're broken," Creaked into my conscience... of course right when I released the somewhat sanity I had left.
"U-h.." I tried to ask a question though my voice broke.
"Come here my child," The air tingled with otherworldly energy that felt to be at odds with my own. I began to obtain my vision, trying to grip my guard and rip it up as fast as I could.
I took a deep breath and tried to anchor myself in the chaos, though the ethereal voice echoed again, "You're broken."
A figure emerged from the shadows as I felt my body being casted back into the ground, a silhouette bathed in the shifting lights. It beckoned me closer, and despite the internal stubbornness I have, my feet moved as if guided by an unseen hand. The scent of incense lingered in the air, and my surroundings melted into a pit of darkness.
"Sombres murmures, dans la nuit éternelle,
La dame vaudou chante, envoûtante et belle.
Magie tissée, par la lueur de la lune,
Les mystères vaudou émergent, une fortune opportune." chanted into my skull from voices that seemed to gather around me.
With every step taken the creole voice seemed to grow more distinct, "come here my child."
The lights played tricks with my senses, The green hues intensified, casting an iridescent glow on the mysterious entity before me. My vision fluctuated between clarity and distortions, like ripples in a cosmic pond.
"You seek answers," A bold smile gleamed, the voice reckoned with me, causing my core to be penetrated. "But answers come at a cost." Each syllable steeped in mystique, casting a spell on those who listen.
The hair of this being flowed as if underwater, the smile so white it shines through the green lights, along with little wisps of black smoke that seemed to appear coming out of it. Her eyes held secrets that were as deep as the bayou, beckoning with those of fractured souls. Her accent was thick, infusing speech with melodic reminiscent of ancient incantations. It's a voice that resonates with the magic of the swamps, intertwined with the heart of New Orleans itself.
Fear mingled with curiosity took over my thoughts as I was sure they were already laid out on the table for her to read. Cryptic words were uttered into my ears along with distant echoes of drums. She held a captivating gaze while swaying enchantingly, humming some kind of sequence of words, something that could've put me to sleep.
"What questions do I seek answers for then..?" I slurred somewhat.
The air once again became misty and my head began to pierce, " 'dose headaches," she began to state with a low resonant laughter that bounced its way down my spine, "som-ting profond."
" ~ Dark whispers,
in the eternal night,
The voodoo lady sings,
haunting and beautiful.
Magic woven,
by the glow of the moon,
Voodoo mysteries emerge,
timely fortune. ~ "
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I Want to Die in New Orleans // $uicideboys
FanfictionYou find yourself wandering past the groups of people playing music all around the streets of New Orleans, only to be introduced into an uncommon punk band. You become friends very easily with the members but you have a lot in common with a spec...
