TOM'S POV:
"Would you two please stop fighting like an old married couple?" Edd exclaimed, waving his hands in the air as he entered the kitchen, Matt close on his heels.
Tord and I stood in the room, face to face, glaring at each other. He was the first to pull away. "Stupid Jehovah's Witness." He murmured.
"Whatever..." I grabbed a bottle Smirnoff from the shelf.
"That's it, I'm calling a family meeting." Edd announced. "Everybody, sit down at the table."
"Edd, I really don't have time for this..." Tord sighed.
"Nope, I don't care, sit."
We all took a seat at the table, and Edd put his hands on the table in a business manner. "Everybody, welcome to family meeting, thank you all for coming."
Everybody mumbled some sort of acknowledgement and we begun.
"Today we are discussing the Tom and Tord rivalry problem. Matt, would you like to begin?"
"Umm, sure..." He coughed. "Well, I really hate it when you guys fight, and it makes me sad."
"Why? It has nothing to do with you?" I asked.
"You guys are my friends, and I care about you guys..." He said quietly. "I miss the time when you guys got along. Remember back in high school when you guys used to really like each other?"
Tord rolled his eyes. "That was a very long time ago Matt. People change."
"For better or for worse." I whispered.
"WHAT WAS THAT?" Tord yelled, standing up. "YOU WANNA GO, BITCH?"
"TORD, SIT DOWN, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE." Edd banged his hand on the table. "If you two cannot act like the adults you are, your both going in to time out like children."
"Fine." Tord hmphed and sat back down.
"But no, really, Tom, what did you say?" Edd asked.
"It doesn't matter." I said, taking a swig of vodka.
"Yes, it does. Your opinion matters." Edd explained kindly.
"Fine." I looked to Tord, who was ready to blow a gasket. "I'll say what I said if he says something first."
Tord rolled his eyes again. "Oh, fine- you try to hide your pain in the most postmodern way. You lack substance when you say something like, 'Oh, what a shame-"
"It's just a self-referential way that stops me from having to be human-"
"I'm sure you're going to say that I am stupid." He growled.
"I feel like you're running out of the things I liked you for."
His eyes went wide. "Wha-"
"Why can't we be friends, when we are lovers, because it always ends with up hating each other. Instead of calling me out, you should be pulling me in." I put my face in my hands. "I'm just still pissed of because you pied me off after my show. Remember, you let go of my hand in front of some sket who wanted a bit of your-"
"Oh-KAY! We get it, we get it, I'm sorry." Tord groaned. "You're still angry about that?"
"Of course, idiot. I was your fucking boyfriend!"
"Wait, what-" Edd blanked. "You what..."
"I'm so confused." Matt looked like he had just watched the first half of Napoleon Dynamite.
"I dated Tom for a couple of years, no biggie." Tord said, trying to brush off the reality.
"Uh, no. You dated me, you asked me first." I confronted.
"Oh, shut up." He said, embarrassed.
"It's true." I shrugged.
"So... You guys..." Edd looked back and forth between me and him. "You know... Were..."
"Gay?" I asked at the same time Tord said. "Yes, I fucked him."
I turned red and so did Tord. "Wait-" He murmured.
"IDIOT!"
"UGH, SHUT UP!"
"CHILDREN, CHILDREN, CHILDREN!" Edd begun.
"This interminable bickering was amusing when it first started, but it's getting very stale and we've still got to live together at the end of the day. SO, why don't you two cut the horseshit and get to the part where you admit your remaining sexual feelings for each other."
"WHOA!!!" Tord yelled.
"YOU ARE WAYYYY OFF BASE, BUDDY!" I shouted.
"OH, spare me, spare me, SPARE ME!" He turned to Tord. "Yes, yes, he's a brute, I know. Probably reminds you of a bad relationship and, GOSH, you'd really like a nice man to settle down with, but, admit it- You're real curious to know if he's still good in bed."
Tord's mouth fell open, and Edd turned to me next. "And YOU! HAH! Well, you're just a big man baby who'd rather act tough than show his true feelings, because the last time you opened your heart to him, you got hurt... Owie"
He took a deep breath. "AND NOW, rather than admit these feelings, you're dancing around one another with this mind-numbing and freakishly boring mating ritual- SO, for my sake and Matt's, you either quit your bickering or go to Tom's room, tear off those clothes, AND GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY!"
We all sat in silence, looking back and forth at one another, until me and Tord's eyes met. Tord blushed and looked away, confirming that Edd's prediction was true.
NOTE:
SOOOOO... 3/4% of this is based off of memes and shit I've seen on the internet... The first part's at the top and here's the link to half the stuff Edd said-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruOqUlkiyKw
Lol, I just needed to post something. This is kinda a shit post, but let me know what u think <3
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TomTord/TordTom OneShots...
FanfictionI was stuck in REHAB for many months and I was lonely so I wrote a bunch of FANFICTIONS. I know, not a healthy coping skill... :( ART NOT MINE!!! I just want to put that I don't ship the real people, that's nasty. :p Anyways... Hope you enjoy... Com...
