Her Children

Where Were You?

Karen

I sat in my dressing room as I stared at a picture of Dave and I on my phone. I missed my husband so much. It'd been months since I'd seen him or we'd had any interaction, and the fact that I was here without him only made me even more sad internally. Yes, I was living my dream and I was happy about that, but the truth of the matter was that I missed him and his touch. I was happy when I was around people and my sisters, but every time I was alone I was sad and crying. I couldn't keep going through this. Something had to give.

"Karen, are you okay?" Tamela asked, knocking on my dressing room door.

"Hey, I'm still adjusting. I know it's been months, but I'm missing my husband." I admitted.

"I can understand that in a way. Well, my husband is here with me, but I can understand you missing yours because of this being your first time on a tour and away from home for so long. It's understandable. If you don't mind me asking why hasn't he came to see you yet?"

"Honestly.... he's been home taking care of our children. We have nine." Tamela's eyes bucked at my words.

"Nine?? Wow. That's amazing. You're a blessed woman."

"Yeah, I miss all my babies. I had two before he and I married and together we had seven so we have a pretty big family." I laughed softly.

"That's beautiful, Karen. Hopefully he comes and decides to make a visit soon." Tamela said.

"Hopefully so. Thanks for checking on me. I appreciate it Tam."

"Of course, I'll leave you to spend the rest of your time to yourself. We have more shows to go. Stay encouraged, things will get better soon." Tamela said, leaving the room.

Sighing, I inhaled and exhaled as tears filled my eyes. Dorinda and Jacky came in after her as they closed the door behind them.

"Karebear, are you okay?" Dorinda asked.

"Honestly, Doe? I'm not. Why can't Dave just come see me? I keep telling myself that he's preoccupied with the kids, but what if in reality it's something else? What if... what if he's found someone else? What if he's being catered to by another woman? I can't fathom that possibility. I can't." I cried, putting my hands over my face.

Dorinda pulled me into a hug as Jacky rubbed my back.

"Karen, he wouldn't do that. Not after everything you two have been through together. If he knows what's good for him pursuing another woman would be the last thing on his mind." Jacky said.

'That bastard knows that I would kill him if he ever hurt you in that way again. Not after you forgave him for the first few times that he did step out. If he ever decided to hurt you while you're out on the road singing for Jesus he would regret it in several ways. Please, don't make me mad." Dorinda said, getting teary-eyed as she held me.

I continued to cry as she held me. I understood that Dave was a changed man now that he'd given his life to Christ. He promised me that he would never hurt me ever again, and he'd been making good on his promise, but in the back of my mind there were still insecurities and doubts that I hadn't worked through yet. I just couldn't understand why he hadn't came to see me. Things weren't adding up. He barely texted me or FaceTime'd me. My heart was telling me that something was wrong.

"I know that Maurice and Jay came to see us, and Dave didn't come with them, but I can assure you that him cheating isn't what's going on. Please don't allow your head to deceive you. Don't go by your heart either, because the heart is desperately wicked who can really know it? Go by the fruit that he's shown you over the past years that things have changed for the better. You go by that and that's the truth that you lean on, Karen. You lean on that, and nothing else." Jacky said.