Please, release me ✩ Dazai X Reader

Chapter 10

5 years ago (Age 17)

It's been 9 months since you've been trapped within these suffocating metal walls; even now, you've managed to desperately cling to what little willpower you have left. However, your last attempt to escape once again failed and ended up with your neck being chained to the ground in the corner and a dog muzzle around your face. When trying to escape, you tried searching for a key in the male's person; unfortunately, you failed to take into account that he was a light sleeper, and during that desperate attempt, you ended up sinking your teeth into his arm as a feeble form of attack. Thus, you somehow reached even lower depths of despair, something you didn't think was possible. There was nothing that you could currently do except quietly weep while the male was gone. Despite what enemies you had back in your home country, you enjoyed a somewhat enjoyable life thanks to your ability, but you grew tired of controlling people to do things for you; it wasn't what you wanted, not anymore; you only wished for something genuine. That monotonous life soon led you to Japan, but with only knowing a few Japanese words, you struggled in your new life, and eventually, you met and soon developed feelings for the male who now holds you captive. He was an experienced, one you had never felt before: of course, his being fluent in your native language paved the way for your one-sided crush. You had dated before coming to Japan; however, it lacked romance or any love, and being the naive girl you were at 16, you fell for his honeyed words. Despite being trapped within this shipping container, some feelings towards him remained. Causing you to accept whatever requests he had for you, no matter how nefarious, hoping he would allow you a little freedom even if you had to accompany him outside; unfortunately, it was all in vain.

Not long after your tears had dried and your eyes had become red and sore, does the teen finally return? "Ah, there's my little biter," he exclaims with a cheerful smile as he drops some bowl in front of you; it's a food bowl for a dog filled with cake. He pulls out a chair, sits on it backwards, and leans his arms on the back of the chair, "I suppose I should give you cake since it's your birthday, but after last weeks stunt, it seems you want to be treated like a dog so eat it like one," he demands; despite his cheerful smile, it was almost like a menacing demon was screaming at you to obey...or else. At first, you hesitated, but the more he kept smiling at you, the more you wavered. This might have been the most degrading thing he's made you do so far, but in front of a demon whose whims dictated if you would survive another day or not, you submitted. Kneeling, you shoved your face into the bowl. Regardless, with the muzzle still on it made eating difficult and uncomfortable. Then laughter filled the room, "ah, good, for that your muzzle can come off, but the collar remainds," he tells you as he comes closer and removes the muzzle, throwing it to the side. Kneeling to your face, he suddenly forcefully grabs your chin, "remember, good dogs get rewards, bad ones get punishments and I'm sure you remember what punishments there are waiting for you," he reminds you, pointing towards your bandaged arm with his other hand. What he was referring to was the various poisons he had tested on you already, which led you to either be violently sick or cough up blood to temporary blindness. Despite what cruel demon tightly held onto your chin, it was the only kind of warmth you had felt in a while, and as much as it sickened you to acknowledge it, you craved more of that warmth. 

Unfortunately for you, he saw that weakness, that sense of yearning in your eyes. Using his free hand, he takes a handful of what was left of the cake and shoves it into your mouth, "it looks like I've not been giving you enough attention so here, enjoy it while it lasts," he asserts. However, due to the lack of water or food you've had, you're powerless to fight back, so you do what he desires; after all, this was a mercy compared to what he's done previously. After he had finished shoving food into your mouth like some animal, he then looked you in the eyes with a dark expression, which caused you to tightly shut your eyes out of fear. Before you knew it, he had pushed you down and was atop you, yet you refused to open your eyes. There was a long pause, but nothing happened, and you finally opened your eyes only to find him staring at you in silence. He was almost akin to a predator who had successfully caught its prey and had lost interest in it. You so desperately wanted to cry out or beg him to stop, yet you knew that would only result in more pain, so your mouth moved to speak, and the words did not come out. "Good, you're learning," he comments before leaning closer and pressing his lips against yours forcefully. Nonetheless, that warmth you longed for was brief, and he soon stood up, taking a few steps before pausing. "Behave and you will continue to get rewarded," he informs you, leaving the shipment container altogether.

In that brief moment, it both disgusted and delighted you. You hated the fact that you enjoyed it, but that soft sensation that lingered on your lips that you couldn't nor wanted to describe. Humans are social creatures by nature; they all need some kind of affection or interaction with others, and he knew that, seeing fit to prey on that weakness. Thus the cruel cycle, he needed your ability and only saw you as a tool for his benefit, and you craved that human affection. 

Present Day

It wasn't long after you had first awoke in a hospital bed with the Agency that you became affiliated with a high fever, causing you to become delirious at times. A few days into your fever, you had the strangest feeling of someone giving you medicine via mouth to mouth. However, by the end of your fever, you had long since forgotten about it. You're currently staring out the window without a single thought, and for once, it was peaceful, almost peaceful enough to temporarily forget what had transpired before you ended up at the Agency two weeks ago. It had been so long since the numbness wasn't there, so long since you wept like you did when you heard the news of Tanaka or felt the rage and betrayal after you heard he was once in the Port Mafia. Despite the feeling of betrayal and the secrets he kept from you, he was the first person you wanted to talk to after you had regained some semblance of speech back, only for you to find out it was too late. You were too broken and hung over what had happened before he found you that you didn't even get to enjoy what you had. Your biological parents never cared much for you, and they only feared you after the revelation of your ability, but Tanaka was different; he treated you as if you were his own child, and you never noticed. He was gone, and you didn't know how to react or if there was someone to blame for his death. You felt so lost you wanted Dazai to suffer for what he did, but you also wanted to find out what exactly happened to Tanaka; but would you want revenge on that person or group? What would be your goal after finding out? There were so many questions you needed answers to; however, there weren't answers to any of them.

Do you put aside your hatred for Dazai temporarily and discover the truth about Tanaka, who he was and who is to blame for his death? Or do you put his death aside and pursue your wish for revenge on Dazai?

What do you do next?

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For the first time, I will be giving the choice to my lovely readers as to what path you will take next chapter. Do you wish to investigate Tanaka or pursue revenge on Dazai?