"Who were you on the phone with?" Mili curiously asked as she slid her phone into the pocket of her baggy sweatpants.
I pursed my lips as Mili sat down beside me, "My therapist," I said honestly, feeling oddly awkward at even admitting it.
Mili's brows almost instantly furrowed, "Is everything okay?" she asked, and it wasn't hard to see the concern on her face.
I nodded a few times, "Yeah-yes, everything is okay. I just..." I drew in a breath as I unconsciously played with my hands in my lap, "The moving in topic caught me off guard," I whispered.
Even if Mili was so easy to talk to—I always felt so anxious communicating my thoughts and feelings.
Again, as I discussed with my therapist—it's rooted in rejection.
Mili's face softened, "Oh baby, I'm sorry, I didn't realize it made you feel so nervous," she said, suddenly guiding me over to her.
And as soon as I straddled her lap, Mili was pulling me into a full-on hug.
Her actions alone seemed to soothe my nerves almost instantly, which caused me to relax in her arms.
"It's okay if it's too soon baby—it's really no pressure," Mili said as we pulled back slightly from the hug.
I shook my head slightly, "No it's not necessarily too soon. Dr. Mitchell helped me realize that," I tried to explain as Mili's hand softly drew up and down my back covered by one of her t-shirts, "The idea of moving in together just scared me," I admitted.
Mili nodded as her eyes held mine completely, "I get that, it's a big step," she whispered as she managed to draw me in closer.
"It's a really big step, but I feel ready to take it with you..." I trailed off as I suddenly nuzzled my head into the crook of her neck, suddenly feeling too exposed underneath her stare, "I just don't want to scare you away," I finally forced out.
"Scare me away?" Mili said, clearly wanting more of an explanation.
I leaned in further to her warm body, "I don't know... I just don't want it to get too serious and then you decide that it's too much? That you want something with less commitment?" I whispered in question, clearly still processing my thoughts that I had previously dissected with my therapist, "I try to keep it interesting, but what if that gets harder when we move in together?"
Mili suddenly guided me away from her neck so her eyes could meet mine, "I didn't realize you felt this way," she said as her eyes trailed my face, "I promise you're interesting on your own. You don't have to do too much at all."
I nodded wordlessly, glancing down to our laps.
Mili gently grabbed the side of my neck and guided me closer to her, and as she pressed a soft kiss to my forehead she managed to say—
"I want to get more than serious with you. Commitment with you doesn't scare me."
I felt a soft smile grow on my lips as she guided me back to meet her beautiful brown eyes, "Yeah? Because I want to get more than serious with you too," I whispered, knowing that moving in felt so right for us.
Mili's lips twitched up into a smile, "So we're doing this?"
I felt my stomach quite literally do a flip of excitement, "We're doing this," I whispered with a growing smile.
Mili hummed as she leaned up to me for a kiss, that I easily reciprocated.
And as my arms slid around her neck, Mili deepened the kiss—allowing her tongue to slide past my lips.
