A Worthy Replacement

Chapter 61 - Mazes

HALLO HALLO EVERYONEEEE! i'm back!
the chapters might be a little bit on the shorter side, but hopefully it's a little more well-written than the past ones hehe
i'm gonna be trying out some new writing styles so bear with me!

"... it's nothing. don't butt into it."

"Y/N please," tartaglia begged, catching your arm before you walked off. "stop being so closed off already and just rely on me! do you seriously think i'll judge you for anything? i'd be one to talk if i did."

"stop making it a bigger issue than it already is," you replied firmly, yanking your arm out of his grasp and taking your mask back. "let's just go back to camp. we'll talk later."

before he could say anything, you walked back to the campsite. your head was shrouded in thought, contemplating how to tell him what just happened.

there's no way he didn't hear you, so how could you explain it?

tartaglia did most of the talking during the short meeting he requested. you were silent, although that was pretty common of you. the meeting was short, simple, and straight to the point.

"brighella, stay behind. the rest of you are dismissed," tartaglia said commandingly, all the underlings and soldiers leaving the two of you alone. "any eavesdroppers will be dealt with accordingly."

once everyone cleared out, tartaglia crossed his arms over his chest. "now, mind telling me the reason behind your crying and cursing out that abyss lector?"

fuck.

"how much did you hear?"

"starting from how you were saying how he had no right to be speaking to you, and how he should be grateful you hadn't killed him yet."

"... well if you heard the rest, i'm sure it's simple to put two and two together, no? do i have to spell it out for you, or are you going to make me?"

tartaglia sighed through his nose and averted his eyes, contemplating on what to do. meanwhile, you were a little stressed. he obviously put two and two together, but how would he react?

to ajax, family was his reason for living. he treasured them, and no amount of mora could even come close to their worth. they were his one constant in a sea of uncertainty, his anchor and his grounding.

and to think that you just murdered your blood...

your biological father.

wouldn't he criticize you for it?

"i only asked because i felt like hearing you out," he replied, slightly annoyed. "i wanted you to tell me an explanation – your side. i'm clearly missing much-needed context and i always want to give you the benefit of the doubt."

"... are you not mad," you asked, almost baffled by how nonchalant his tone was, almost like it was just a simple argument.

well... he was a little messed up in the head.

maybe not just a little bit.

but then again, so were you.

"why would i be upset," he replied, his eyes glinting with slight malice at the thought of your father. "i hate that man."

"... but tarta-"

"Y/N the only reason i'm angry is because you've been keeping things to yourself again," he said harshly, grabbing your hips and pulling you so your bodies touch. your arms went to his shoulders out of instinct so you didn't knock him. "i'm your boyfriend. you can rely on me, i want you to rely on me. but it always seems like you're pushing me away, intentional or not."

"... that's..."

"do you think i'm not mature enough to understand you," he asks, almost offended by his own deduction. "is it because you're older than me? am i not worthy enough for you?"

"what?! no, that's not-"

"then what is your problem Y/N," he practically exclaimed, his palm colliding with the surface of the table out of frustration. "why are you so distant from me? every single time i feel like i'm getting through to you, i always find myself dead wrong."

you were speechless, looking at him with wide eyes as he seemed upset at you. but deep inside you knew that he wasn't angry with you, he was frustrated at where he stood.

in his eyes, deciphering you was like an endless maze. once he'd round a corner and think that it could be the exit, it splits off yet again. he's come to more dead-ends than forks in the road.

but he did it because he loved you.

because he knew that whatever was waiting at the end of that maze – you – was worth it.

"... you know what, you're right," you relented, crossing your arms over your chest as you looked away. "but... right now, i need some time to myself to process what happened with my dad."

tartaglia huffed, and you thought you pissed him off again, but he negated it by pressing a kiss to your forehead. "was that so hard to say?"

"... i'm sorry?"

"any answer is better than no answer. right now, you're all in your head. it's like you tangled string and you can't figure out for the life of you how to take it apart. let me help you, Y/N. i'm here, i'm one word away. if you ever need me, even if it's for a task that's considered trivial or simple, i'll do it. you only need to ask."

"... but i've been pushing you away," you replied softly. "why are you so insistent on staying with me if i'm unintentionally distancing myself from you?"

"because you need someone. and i need you. that's how we are, right? partners. i'm with you because i know that deep inside this supposed 'icy heart' of yours," he presses his palm just above your chest, palm catching the edge of your heartbeat that accelerated from the intimacy. "there's an even better version of you inside. and i want to bring it out of you because you've brought it out of me."

you scoffed, trying to hide how flustered you were. "i was starting to think you only dated me because i saved you twice."

"that's not true," he replied, seeing your tinted cheeks which made his lips twitch. "i don't just date someone to pay back favors. if i wanted to pay you back, i would have sent you at least 5 million mora."

"... you've spent at least 5 million on me," you countered.

"oh come on, don't stoop that low," he replied with a small chuckle, pressing a kiss to your temple while his arm lazily wrapped around your hips. "just try and be more open with me, 'kay? we're in this together, right?"

you felt your cheeks warm as you looked at him, eyes flickering from his ocean-blue puddles to his lips as he brought them to yours.

"... right."