Timeless

Chapter 30

A/N: Have a treat

They had lied and gotten away with it. Kathryn really wasn't sure how it had even happened—one moment they had been cleaning up the blood and then she and Annie were lying about what had happened to her and saying that she'd always have feminine issues and that it was a hemorrhage for that purpose.

Miraculously, none of the SS Officers had seemed to question that. They had just taken the body away. Kathryn wasn't about to question anything beyond that. Because if they had, in fact, questioned them about it, then they were all going to be physically examined in a variety of horrible and invasive ways. They would learn that Inez was pregnant and they would shoot her then and there.

And the rest of them would be lucky to walk away from that. So no, she didn't say anything about it. Neither did Beatrice—she kept her confidence as she left them. And Kathryn was grateful for that small kindness in some way. It did, in fact, help the rest of them keep up a charade about being untouchable and fine in some way.

But quite truthfully, for Kathryn Egan, after watching Maggie die and after seeing Beatrice abandon them, Kathryn was on a hinge-point. A place where she wasn't sure she would be able to come back from. She just felt empty . She felt as though she were drowning in a sea of grief and pain and hard truths that no one knew how to speak.

She was drawing from an empty bucket at this point. She didn't have an appetite, didn't have any energy to fight left in her. She was simply put, exhausted . She wanted it all to just be over and for it all to stop. But she knew that she wasn't like that.

No, Kathryn Egan would keep going until she dropped.

She would keep doing the same things day in and day out until there was nothing of her left.

Her brother had let her in on some of the plans—although he stated that she needed some sort of deniability if things went south. That she understood. She couldn't be tortured into giving information that she didn't have. But she also knew how these men worked. Knew that they would torture her even if she didn't have the information. And even if they knew she didn't have the information, it wouldn't stop them from doing that sort of thing.

No, after her most recent laundry bout, Kathryn had ducked into the bathroom to wash some blood off of her hands. And as soon as she had moved to leave the bathroom—she found herself being pinned against the wall and being touched .

She had clawed at his eyes and elbowed him in the nose—just in time for DeMarco to shove him off of her and for Kathryn to turn and stalk off. She could scarcely breathe, scarcely keep the anger from bubbling up in her chest. She wanted to scream, wanted to shoot these men and kill them where they stood—but mostly she just wanted to break down and cry. But Kathryn Egan could not do those things.

Instead, she retreated into herself for half of the day. She sat there in that bunk and she tried to keep her hands from shaking in rage—pure and unadulterated rage that was a holy and sacred thing and it was hers and hers alone.

But if there was one thing that Kathryn Egan knew, it was that her anger and her rage could not linger. Because if her anger and her rage lingered, then she would lash out at her friends, at her nurses, at the only allies that she had. And they would hate her—and rightfully so, because maybe this was a sort of fatalistic drive within her. She knew what she was and she knew what she was craving.

That fallout though? She wouldn't be able to forgive herself for the things that she did to push them away. It was out of love—and she knew that it was out of love. But they wouldn't. Not in those moments.