Verified Dilemmas

Prologue

I'm lying somewhat lifeless in my bed. In a house other than my mom's or mine. Feeling legally clueless about everything I think I know and understand, I stare up blankly at the ceiling hoping to find scribbled answers on it that I so desperately seek in my little chaotic mind.

But then, I quickly and disappointedly realize how useless ceilings can be especially when you need them the most. With a deep sigh of resignation, I feel extreme anxiety unceremoniously engulf my entire dark and lovely body.

In this exact moment_the 25th of January 2024_I can't help but analyse (by jotting words on a borrowed samsung tablet) my rather seemingly hopeless and pathetic life.

Hmm. Let's see.

I'm estranged with my mom. I wash dishes and scrubbing floors for a living. I'm an unpaid blogger. An aspiring author. I'm broke and for the love of whys; I'm a twenty-three-year old, 5'4 'tall' virgin.

Lord, have mercy: I dispatch to the man above a silent prayer for myself.

Seriously, could my life get any complicated?! I worriedly wonder to myself.

I'm now lying on my stomach. At the far end of my bed. Half covered by a duvet. Still holding the tablet. All this while, having opened WPS office as the writing canvas for what became the first draft of my book. This book.

If I was wondering earlier, my next thought sees to it that I'm now two steps higher in that realm. Making me even more worried than I've ever been. The thought in question;

But wait, how the hell did I get here?!

I'm now confused. Totally confused. Both literally and figuratively.

Suddenly, a quote I once stumbled upon while surfing the internet disrupts my train of thought.

"It's choice not chance that determines our destiny."

Seeing that I've always lived my life thinking the opposite, I swiftly discredit the thought.

But then, I reckon that it gets to a point when every man questions his beliefs and way of thinking. I figure today might as well be my turn.

Given my predicaments, I question if it were possible that my choices led me here. Rather than what I've lived to believe till today_my circumstances.

Dilemmas, I dread them. But here I am, faced head on with the greatest of them all: Is it choice not chance that determines our destiny? My...destiny?!

I must get to the bottom of all this. Once and for all.

I sternly promise myself.

Suddenly feeling rather adventurous, I eagerly embark on my jotting escapedes as I nolstagicaly walk down memory lane. Both in the sunny and rainy side.

Recording everything as I remember it. But most importantly, I intently evaluate every event without the abstract tainted glasses I had on all my life. Without me even noticing.

They have been blinding me from the truth for this long? Not anymore. Now, now I see clearly.

Starting off with me taking an inventory of my present reality. For what it is. Not what it seems to be.

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