Misty Eyes.

Chapter Four

Dear Diary - September 30th, 2017, 

Mommy got mad at me today. She told me I couldn't wear my leggings to school anymore. She said they make it obvious how fat I am, so I can't wear them anymore. She said nobody wants to see a  fat ten year old in 'skanky' leggings. 

I don't know what skanky means, and Mommy said I can't have a phone until I am sixteen, so I guess I'll have to look it up during computer lab tomorrow. I'm kind of scared, because skanky sounds like skunk, and I hate skunks. Mommy said that they're awful, so I don't like them. 

Mommy also suggested I go on a diet. She said I should eat 700 calories a day, and that if I do, I'll be pretty and skinny like her when she was my age. I don't want to be fat or ugly, so I think I will. Besides, I threw up this weekend because I had too much sugar. 

Daddy is a liar. When I told him I was fat he got mad at me and said, "Erin, you're not fat. Where are you getting all of this from, you're beautiful just the way you are. Whoever is saying these things to you doesn't matter. They're just trying to degrade you because they're jealous."

But Mommy does matter. And Mommy wants what's best for me. Mommy would never tell me something that would hurt me. 

Meaning Daddy is a liar. 

Meaning I can't trust Daddy anymore. 

But now I feel bad, because Daddy cares so much about me, and he loves me and Mommy. 

I need to stop being so selfish. Maybe this is why they argue. They have a bratty ten year old daughter who never does ANYTHING RIGHT. 

I wish I could be more like Riley Osborn. She has lots of friends, and she's skinny, and she has a phone, and she has nice clothes from the mall instead of Walmart, and her parents get along, and she's smart, and...

I need to stop complaining. I have a house and food to eat. 

Mommy told me that there are starving kids on the streets who need this stuff, so I can't waste it and complain. They would give anything to have it. 

I'm such an annoying brat. 

Today school was not fun. I got a B on my vocabulary test, which Mommy punished me for. She told me that I need to start focusing more on school and less on drawing. I've started to enjoy drawing all of a sudden. I mean, I've always kind of enjoyed it, but now, I'm actually starting to improve, and it's a whole lot easier to like something you're good at!

Mommy took away my sketchbooks, my 3DS, and my Wii. She said that I can't have any of it back until I make some 'serious progress on my grades.' 

I thought my grades were fine, because I had nothing but A's and B's, but she said anything below a 95% is as good as an F, so I guess I have more work ahead of me. 

I'm still mad at Daddy for lying, so I haven't told him about my grades. I feel like it's not his business, since he can't be honest with me. 

Mommy and Daddy don't even talk anymore. It makes me sad. Whenever we eat dinner, one night Daddy will eat with me, and the next night, Mommy will eat with me. I don't like having to space out my time with my parents. 

I just want them to get along. 

But as long as they stay together, I will be okay. 

We will all be okay.