Dear Diary

20 March 2024

Dear Dairy,

Today me and my sister have cleaned up some spots, but I ofcourse did bit more then her as usual, I was so frustrated how everything is so filthy after some months in here but I hope our mom and my sis and me will respect everything we've been doing and hope that it will be clean for a long time after it all, that we can live in peace.

But today I also have been thinking a lot of an ex of mine that i regret breaking up with, but I'm glad we could stayed friends. I miss those days that we walked together to the front of his house from school and hugging for a long time after saying goodbye and going our own paths. That time I just walked my bicycle by the hand and rode it after our sweet long hug. We started just as friends and hugs was just our thing to do after school was done. After some time later it was getting more comfortable to hug him as he felt like a hug walking teddybear. We may didn't have the same taste from food I love tomatoes and cheese and he didn't wanted to try it at all (and still think it too).

Now it all let me think it like it was a dream, a dream was the bestest time ever. At the time we walked after school, we then sudden just kiss each other on the cheeks, well mostly I did it. When I now think of it, we were a couple, and at valentines day he gave me a cute heart necklace that i still have but I don't know where. I think our relationship was mostly double, between friendship and an relationship. We were like an awkward couple when we were at a party of a bestie of mine at that time, now she would still be my bestie but we don't speak much to each other.

When I and my ex where in Vc after we played with our friends and ended up talking to each other, but at a bad timing my sister and my mom were arguing again and louder and he heard it all, I explained what bothered me and I kinda relaxed at his voice and also cried when I got emotional of the situation at home.

Now I just think of him all the way, I see he changed for some things and see him peeking at me sometimes. But I feel that it's not my duty to carry the relationship, so I wait and try to make life better. 

I also just got an idea to make him a present for his upcoming birthday in July and as a friend I wanna give him a present that is thought of. I had to remember of a day that we had with the group of friends a trip to an amusement park where i let him lend my round pillow to sleep a little while we travelled by train. We all made fun with my pillow because I'm like the smallest of the group but the oldest. They made fun that they farted on my pillow, but it didn't left me cold, it was funny and had the best time at an amusement park.

The periodt at home wasn't good at times, but the company was the best a person could have when we went out with friends.

XxxxxxAmberL